Awake
by S. Benson
Summary: Sam and Freddie thought they were forcing a connection that wasn't there, however three weeks after the break up an accident will show them how mistaken they were.
1. Hurts Like Heaven

_Oh you, use your heart as a weapon. _

_And it hurts like heaven_

_(Coldplay – Hurts Like Heaven)_

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><p><em>It was mutual<em>. He kept telling himself._ It was mutual_. They both wanted this, because it was better this way. So why it sucks so much? Freddie Benson had been brokenhearted before, but there was nothing that would compare to how he was feeling at that moment. A part of him knew, when Sam stopped the elevator, everything was about to go down. And he wasn't wrong. At that moment, what Carly said had made so much sense, but afterwards he couldn't think why it did.

Sure, they were way too different, but was that enough to keep them apart? He didn't know. The truth was, since the moment they decided to end things, he's been regretting every second of it. As soon as he saw her walking out of the elevator, he feared that was it for them, even though, they said _someday, _Freddie feared that _someday _would never come. So he had to tell her how he felt, he couldn't move on without letting her know what was in his heart.

So he did it. He said the L word and he never regretted it. The feeling that took over him as the words came out of his mouth was inexplicably. Nothing ever felt that way before, saying _I love you _to someone never meant so much before. In his life, Freddie Benson had said _I love you _many times. To his mother, father, Carly… but the only time he meant it with every ounce of his soul, was when he said it to Sam Puckett.

His tormentor, the bane of his existence… the love of his life. Most people spend a lifetime without feeling what he felt for Sam, and he was deeply sorry for those people. Because what he felt was so strong, and so complete and he knew nothing would ever compare. It was even better when she said it back. She loved him back. And the moment the words escaped her mouth, he wondered _so why are we breaking up? _ Oh right, because we're not ready yet. Or are we? Hard to tell.

There were many things he wanted to say to her and in the back of his mind, he just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs _I don't want to break up! _But she said so herself, it was mutual, which meant she wanted that, which meant it didn't matter what he wanted. She stepped forward, always being braver than him, and pressed her soft lips against his own. Covering his mouth with hers in a chaste kiss.

Because they weren't ready to be a couple, they decided to break up. But because they weren't ready to give up on each other yet, they postponed it until midnight. Later on Freddie would think of this as his own personal fairytale, where the princess has to leave at midnight because the spell is about to be broken. This one might not have a happy ending though, unlike all of those Disney movies.

The pair rushed back into the elevator, sharing sweet kisses that soon became more heated. Somehow, they stumbled back to Freddie's apartment without taking their mouths off each other. They kissed and kissed, threw each other at walls and furniture, because they're Sam and Freddie, they play rough. When Sam started to slide his open shirt off his shoulder, Freddie felt that it was his last chance to knock some sense into her head; he didn't want her to regret wasting something so special on him. But Sam knew in her heart that wasn't possibly. Freddie Benson was the love of her life and even if she tried that would never change. Even if they had to be apart now, she could never regret sharing this moment with him, because she knew that one day they would find a way back to each other.

It didn't take much convincing to get Freddie to unhook her bra and get things over with. He was always a gentleman, so he put on some music, but it wasn't something he had planned, so whatever started to play first would be their soundtrack. Train's _To Be Loved _was the first song to pop up and he decided to put it on repeat, it was a romantic song and Freddie didn't want to risk something like Eminem coming up next.

Sam always knew it was supposed to hurt, but she didn't know it would hurt that much, but after the sting on her lower body was gone, she was able to enjoy one of the most magnificent sensations in the world. Unlike what Carly said, her first time was nothing about awkward and quick. Freddie took his time, made her feel as good as she made feel and he was gentle and lovely. Because he was Freddie, a gentleman, and unselfish person.

After it was over, they spent the night in each other's embrace, because secretly, they didn't want to let go. They whispered sweet nothings to each other and promised that when they were ready everything would be amazing. In the next morning, Sam kissed Freddie's forehead while he was asleep and left, on her tiptoes, making sure he would stay asleep. It killed her having to leave him, but she knew it wasn't forever.

_I'm not going to let you get rid of me so easily nub. Sam Puckett never let go of her favorite play things, _she thought to herself closing the door behind her. If he thought, only for just a second, that he was going to get rid of her that easy, he was deeply mistaken.

Freddie woke up alone in his bedroom, his pillow still smelling at Sam's apple perfume. They fitted so perfectly together it seemed unreal. Like they were made for each other. So why were they breaking up again? He didn't know, all he knew was that this sucked. They had to wait until they were ready, but what if they were never ready? Then what? How could he supposed to move on from the most beautiful and amazing girl in the whole universe? She could move on at anytime, she was stunning, but what about him? How was he supposed to do that? It didn't matter what he wanted, but what she needed. Or at least what he thought she needed.

Everything about that night was perfect, flawless and dreamy. So why is the awkwardness hanging around the room every time they were near each other? It was hard for him to look at her in the same way he did when they were just friends. It was also hard for her to treat him like she did before they shared that moment in his bedroom together. It wasn't about the actions, but the meaning of it, the closeness she never felt before and the love, the love she knew she would never feel for anyone else. Nevertheless, she felt stupid.

They never really thought about the afterwards, that's why things became so heavy and intense between them. It was not supposed to be this way, Freddie mused. She helped him with T-Bo, but it wasn't the same as before, and he missed his Sam, the Sam he knew she was trying to hide from him. She walked around him like she was on a minefield, and Freddie didn't like that very much. It was bad enough he lost his girlfriend, now he was about to lose his friend too? No, that wasn't happening. That's why he asked Carly to borrow her room to talk to Sam. He knew she was going to be looking for Carly, since it was Friday, probably to borrow some clothes for the show, so he took that opportunity to talk to her. Freddie didn't know if he could just ask her to talk, he didn't know how to act. He tried three times, to talk to her, but she always had an excuse, so he had to catch her off guard.

Carly was feeling guilty as hell, especially because she heard Sam sobbing a few times in the bathroom when she thought no one could hear. Because she watched Freddie glance sadly over at Sam when she wasn't paying attention. And because things being awkward between Sam and Freddie, it felt awkward for everyone. Even Spencer begged Carly to just help them out.

Freddie was sitting nervously on Carly's loveseat. It would be the first time since the breakup he would be alone with Sam in a room. And that scared him. He was afraid of what he might want, and he couldn't have it. It was better this way, he told himself. But if it's better then why it hurts so much?

"Hey Carly, I'm here to-" Sam stopped talking as soon as she spotted Freddie sitting alone on Carly's room.

He jumped to his feet, not really sure how this was supposed to go. The previous night, he had written in his computer the things he would like to say to her, he printed and rehearsed, but looking inside her blue eyes, Freddie forgot that the little piece of paper was in his pocket. Sam was taken by surprise, and she was pretty sure he planned that. Freddie asked a few times before to talk to her, and she feared of what he might wanna say, so she ran, made up excuses to avoid him. She looked around deciding which excuse could work better this time.

"Hey" he said lamely "hi…"

"Hi Freddie… I'm looking for Carly…" Sam stuck her hand inside pockets, very aware she hasn't been alone with him since the break up.

"She's not here… but we need to talk" a sudden rush of determination overcame him "do you wanna sit?"

_Oh shit! _She thought… _where do I go? Should I run? Tell him I have something better to do? _She was deciding which excuse worked better, but she made the mistake to look at his face. _Dang it!_ His freaking stupid face was so convincing. _The hell with it, he won't stop bugging me unless I let him speak, so whatever, I'm ready for this shit_, she decided.

"Ah… sure" Sam shrugged and acted cool, but on the inside she was having a minor freak out. What he wanted to talk about? What could it possibly be?

"So" he began "how are you doing?"

She might be a little scared of this conversation, but she's still Sam "listen, cut to the chase will ya?"

"Sorry. You're right" he took a sharp breath "the thing is… I really don't like this awkwardness between us. I miss us being friends Sam, and even though I still hope one day we'll be ready to do this again, in the mean time I would like my friend back"

Sam analyzed him for a moment. If he didn't look so sincere, she would think he was just trying to tell her they're really better as friends and that was the way he wanted. Because the break up was mutual, but she didn't want it, so it must have been him. He must've been the one who wanted this. However, he said he hoped they could do that someday, so that meant he still wished they could be together. She knew it could be a long way until they found each other again, but the fact he wasn't willing to give up, made her want to smile. He was right, as always, in the mean time they could still be friends and the awkwardness had to be gone, plus he looked so cute with that green plaid shirt, she couldn't say no.

"You're right… I don't like this too and I think we could stick with being friends, until…" she trailed off, hoping he would get the hint and don't make her say it.

"Yeah… I'd like that. I kind miss the way we used to be. As friends… not as a couple" he stumbled in his own words "not that I don't miss us being a couple, because I do very much, but what I mean is-"

"Dork" she put her hand on his knee, and quickly retrieved it, scared of the electric sensation going through her veins every time they touched "I get it okay? God, you're such a nub"

He chuckled. It's been months since she called him that, and to be fair he kinda missed it.

"So we're good? Like, Sam and Freddie again? Bickering sidekicks? At least for a while?"

"Yeah, why not?" she gave him a shrug "I'm glad you did this quickly. All the rambling makes mama angry"

"I know" he snorted "so, to seal the deal… wanna to go to the Groovy Smoothies and do some damage to my wallet? We can invite Carly, Brad and Gibby, but I'm only paying for you"

"That is one very good idea. That's why you're our techy nerd" she stood up and he followed suit "I'm glad we did this… because now I can go back to calling you names and stuff"

"Am I going to be your personal punching bag again?" he asked with a smile, opening the door of Carly's room for her.

"Nah… I guess Gibby is easier to beat, and better to humiliate. I'll stick with the verbal attack though"

"Fine by me" he shrugged and smiled.

The truth was, she knew touching him would be a dangerous deal. Whenever they touch or brushed against each other, she would get goose bumps, and that wasn't something she was ready to let it happen again. Not for a while at least. They were convinced the connection they shared was forced, little did they know some people would give everything to share with someone what they shared. It was a lifetime love, they just had to be ready to see it. And when they did, it would be amazing indeed.

Although, just to keep each other's presence always constant, they would do things that reminded them of each other. Sam would watch the Galaxy Wars' whole series alone in her room, thinking about that stupid nerd, that she loved so much. And she would spend the night hugging the purple chicken he won for her at a carnival and she rewarded him by smacking the stuffed animal against his head. Freddie in the other hand would sit in his fire escape for hours, listening to the same Train song that played the night they made love for the first time and eating a bucket of fried chicken. Sometimes he would listen to any song that would remind him of her, and just do nothing other than smile. His favorite was Glee's version of _Take Care Of Yourself_. They might be apart, but they still had each other.

Just to keep each other close, because they weren't ready to go down that road yet, but they weren't ready to give up on each other either.

_It's time for us to part. Yeah it's best for us to part. Oh but I love you, I love you. Take care of yourself, I'll miss you… I love you, oh I love you._

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><p><strong>Hey guys, first chapter is up, hope you enjoy it. Tell me what you think! And oh, Glee fans are you as crazy as I am about Damian McGinty? Glee is coming back, and my baby is finally debuting! <strong>_**Take Care Of Yourself**_** was perfect! I puked rainbows listening to that song, that falsetto? Please Damian, let me love you! It wasn't on the chapter, I just added because I'm addicted. And let's not forget about **_**Being Green**_**, only Damian can make a Muppets' song sound sexy… oh my…**

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><p><strong>Anyway, there is a sneak peek from next chapter:<strong>

Chapter 2 (Crash And Burn)

"_Oh my god Freddie! You wanna go back together or something?"_ she squeaked.

"Yeah" he tapped his foot nervously on the elevator floor "I do"

"_You're sure you're ready for this? I mean... You and Sam?"_

"Honestly Carly, I never even wanted to break up" he got off the elevator and ignored Lewbert's cries, heading to the parking lot.

"_But you're sure about the…" _he cut her off.

"Listen, I love her okay? I don't need to be ready, I'm ready" Freddie opened the door of his car and started the engine, buckling the seatbelt; he was a careful driver.

"_If you're sure… Oh my god this is awesome! Okay! I'll call her! Good luck Freddie!" _Carly squeaked and squealed before turning off the phone.

Freddie rushed to get to Sam's house before she could say yes. He couldn't lose her, not for some stranger jerk who barely knew her. He didn't know what possessed him, but when Brad said his jerkhead cousin was going to ask her out, he freaked out. Freddie never wanted the damn break up and he had to let her know that. He needed to say it, face to face. But the traffic wasn't helping. Two men were fighting in the middle of the street because of some fender bender. Freddie had to wait five precious minutes for the police to solve the commotion. Then Carly called again.

"_Freddie?"_

"Carly? What the hell, you should be talking to Sam not me!" he growled.

"_I tried, but she said the doorbell rang and hang up on me" _she explained _"I called again, and she said Will was there and she would call me back. I tried to stay on the line with her, distract her… but she just hang up on me. She said she would get rid of him and called me back, but it's been almost five minutes!"_

"Shit! Okay… alright… I'm not going to make it on time… I'll call her, and hopefully she'll pick up! Thanks Carls"

She had to pick up, maybe when she saw he was calling she would. Freddie dialed her number, ignoring the road. He was a careful driver anyway…


	2. Crash And Burn

_And if I fall and crash and burn_

_At least we both know that I tried_

_And as I crawl those lessons learned_

_Yeah they remind me I survived_

_(Lifehouse – Crash And Burn)_

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><p>Three weeks after the break up and things got really better between Sam and Freddie. It was like they were back to their old bickering selves, but without the physical contact. Sam was still very aware of the electricity that went through her body whenever he was close, she didn't need the drama of it all. Freddie on the other hand, missed the way she used to pummel him. Only a crazy person would miss physical abuse, but maybe after years of knowing Sam, he had become a bit crazy too.<p>

Even when things got better, there was still that ache inside their chest, whenever they would want to hold each other's hand, or just lean against each other's shoulders. Freddie hoped they would be ready soon, and with T-Bo living in his house he would succeed on being less normal. So he could be ready for her. And he didn't mind the fact that he needed to be abnormal in many ways so they could be together, because that meant they would be together. And usually he stopped paying attention to his own thoughts after the word _together_.

Sam too was making some efforts of her own to try to be a bit more normal. She started to do things she wouldn't usually do, like help people, or clean up her own mess. Usually, she wouldn't do that kind of effort for any guy, but Freddie wasn't just any guy, he was THE guy. THE one. That's why when she met Brad's cousin, Will she was totally oblivious to the fact that he was flirting with her. Will was trying his best to get her attention and even impress her, but Freddie happened to be wearing that same damn shirt he was wearing the he kissed her on the meantal hospital, day they broke up… the day they made love for the first time. Sure Will was nice, and they had a few thing is common, but that damn shirt, or the boy who was wearing it, was so frigging distracting.

She couldn't take her eyes off the damn shirt, and the way it hugged his muscular chest so well. Freddie however couldn't take his eye off Will. He was, unlike Sam, very aware of what that scrawnier version of Brad was trying to do. He was trying to get it on with his girl, and Freddie Benson did not appreciate that. Luckily, Sam did not seem to notice, or didn't give much attention to Will. The thing is, they didn't really talked about moving on, or if it was okay to date someone else while they weren't ready for each other. To Freddie it all seemed pretty stupid, how can they be ready to have other relationships and not be ready for each other?

Later that day, Freddie realized he had two options. One: speak to Sam about it. Two: ask Brad for help. He went with second option. He didn't know if it was okay for him to ask Sam not to date anyone, and he surely did not want her to think he was implicating she couldn't date anyone. After the show, Freddie decided to wait until the girls were downstairs to talk to Brad. Carly and Sam always left before the boys, they implied that they didn't know anything about techy stuff, so the boys had to the work putting the props down and putting the equipment in a safe place.

"So?" Freddie started.

"So what?" Brad asked, taking off the meat that was hanging on a hook in the ceiling.

"I've been meaning to ask you a favor"

"Sure thing man" he climbed off the stairs and put the raw beef on a bowl. Sam might want that later, you never know, and he didn't want to get beaten up for throwing perfectly good meat away, that was a utter sin in her world.

"You and I are friends right?" Freddie played nervously with his tech chords "like best friends?"

"Sure we are. Why?" Brad put his tasks aside to pay better attention to his friend.

"I need a big favor Brad"

"Hit me"

"I want you to tell your cousin Will to stay away from my girl" he said more confidently.

"Your girl?" Brad chuckled "I thought you guys broke up"

"That doesn't change the fact that we're still trying to be ready for each other. And in the mean time I would like for your cousin, or any other guy, to stay away from her"

Brad smiled. He knew Freddie and Sam were both being stupid about this break up thing, but if they thought they weren't ready, who was Brad to say the opposite? Still, he found deeply amusing how they could get jealous so easily. Every girl in Ridgeway high was now aware that Freddie Benson was off limits. Just because Sam Puckett didn't have the dork, it didn't mean somebody else could, because technically, even if they weren't dating, he was _her_ ex boyfriend, which made him _hers_ somehow.

The only girl who ever tried to break that rule and crossed the line was Shannon. The poor girl has been in love with Freddie for such a long time, and after she heard about the break up, she decided to ask him out. Before she could make any move, the news got to Sam, and let's just say it wasn't pretty for Shannon. After that, every single girl in the whole school was afraid to even walk too close to him, they all feared what Sam Puckett could do if she thought they were hitting on him.

And now Freddie was asking him to keep Will away from Sam. It was deeply amusing in so many ways, that Brad had to laugh. He wanted to tell Freddie that Sam's been jealous too and both were being stupid, but Carly forbidden him. She said they have to find their way back to each other on their own, and this way will be so much better. Unlike Brad, Carly believed Sam and Freddie had some growing up to do, they needed to mature and work on issues of their own, only then they could work as a couple. But after many years of being friends with the pair, Carly failed to realize something Brad did in only a few months, Sam and Freddie did not work like anybody else, thereby their relationship would never work as it should. Nevertheless he decided to just go with it, and if the couple really needed some help he would step in, otherwise he would just sit and wait.

"Did you tell Sam that? That you don't want her to date anyone? Because you know, eventually she will, since she doesn't know you feel this way" Brad figured a little push wouldn't hurt.

"I can't tell her that! She'll think I'm trying to boss her, and Sam does not react well to authority"

"Yeah, but if you have a heartfelt conversation with her… maybe she'll even tell you she doesn't want you to date either"

"Do you think that? I mean, do you think she doesn't want me to date?" he asked hopefully.

"Listen dude, if you want me to ask Will to back off, I will. But I think you should have a heartfelt with Sam and maybe, only maybe she feels the same way and you both can work something out" another little push couldn't hurt.

"Maybe… I'll think about it. But can you please get rid of your cousin for me?"

"I'll do that" Brad nodded and wrapped his arm around Freddie's shoulder "now let's go downstairs, I'm hungry"

"God you sound like Sam" he chuckled.

"No, you see Sam in everywhere" Brad snorted.

That night, Freddie went to bed thinking about what Brad said. He didn't really wanted to break up and maybe neither did Sam. The truth is, when they decided to break it off, his heart sunk, but the moment they decided to postpone it, happiness hit him again. She wasn't the most normal girl in the world and they weren't the most conventional couple in the world, but that worked for them, so what was the problem? Freddie couldn't remember really why they broke up. At the time everything made sense, but thinking about it later, made him wonder. _Why the hell did we break up again?_

Sure, they heard Carly telling Spencer and his girlfriend that they were forcing a connection that wasn't there, that it was just weird and wrong. Both Sam and Freddie took it to the heart. However, looking back at it, Carly was telling that to Spencer, not them. Each couple it's different and works on a different system, so why should he take an advice she gave to Spencer? He had to admit the guy didn't have the most successful relationships of all. And in years of knowing the artist, he never saw Spencer share with anyone a connection like the one he had with Sam.

_Because it was deeper than anything he could ever feel for anyone, _Freddie thought. Once again he spent the night over analyzing everything. Since the break up, Freddie had spent many nights wondering what lead him to think breaking up with Sam was for the best. He never got an answer that made sense.

Not many miles away from him, Sam did the exact same thing. Sam Puckett was not a romantic person. She hated flowers and candlelight dinner. Chick flicks were the worst kind of torture someone could put her through and serenades were totally disgusting. She wasn't into romantic songs or any other emotional thing that every girl seemed to want. If you really stopped to analyze her, Sam Puckett was a complicated person, however her desires were very simple. Sam never wanted more than food and a good nap. That was until she started to want a certain dork. Things got complicated. And she hated complicated, which was exactly what she became because of Freddie Benson.

Kissing him in a surprise attack was something crazy to do. In normal circumstances she would've pummel him for not leaving her alone, but he was talking about feelings under the moonlight. Back then she regretted kissing him more than anything. But after the way things between them unfolded, Sam began to think that was the single smarter thing she ever done. Dating the dork was better than she expected. He wasn't too emotional and disgustingly romantic as she thought he would be. He was sweet in the right amount and slightly romantic, which was a pretty good deal for her. Freddie was also funny and nice to hang out with, not mentioning smart and interesting. Of course there were the physical aspects. He wasn't bad to look at and to be fair; the boy was very, very handsome.

Things between them happened so easy, like they were in sync. Sure, they fought, but that worked for them. So why, oh why did they break up? Did she even want to break up? No. Did he? She wasn't so sure anymore. Things made so much sense three weeks ago in that elevator, but now, thinking about it… nothing made sense. She knew that, but she wasn't going to tell Freddie about it. Sam wasn't sure of what he wanted, maybe he needed the time to be ready, but she didn't. Should she wait forever? Or just move on? The truth was, after Freddie Benson, any other guy seemed pretty disgusting to her.

The next morning, Sam decided to hang out in her own home, just relaxing and thinking about anything not related to Freddie Benson. She needed a break from that emotional bubble. But the boy was inside her head 24/7, there was no escape from that. The boy in her head did the same thing not many miles away from there. Freddie sat in his room watching TV and trying to focus on anything not related to Sam Puckett. He couldn't think about her all the time or he would go crazy with regret.

About eight pm, Freddie was finishing going through some college brochures and sites when he got the phone call that forever changed to course of his life.

"Hey Brad. What's the deal man?" he said nonchalantly, eyes on the computer screen.

"_Hey Freddie. Listen, I talked to Will, but he didn't listen. In fact…" _he trailed off _"he's going there right now, to ask her out"_

"WHAT?" Freddie jumped off his chair "what the heck is wrong with him?"

"_He's pretty stubborn man. I'm sorry Freddie. I tried" _

"It's okay man, thanks" after Brad hung up Freddie quickly dialed Carly's number "Carls? I need a favor!"

"_Sure Freddie, is everything okay?"_

"No… listen I need you to call Sam and keep her busy on the phone" he rushed to get his hoodie and car keys "can you do that?"

"_Sure. Why?"_

"Well it's a long story, but I'll make it short" he opened the front door and practically ran to the elevator "Brad's cousin is going to ask Sam out and I need you to keep her busy so he won't have the chance to talk to her until I can get there"

"_Oh my god Freddie! You wanna go back together or something?"_ she squeaked.

"Yeah" he tapped his foot nervously on the elevator floor "I do"

"_You're sure you're ready for this? I mean... You and Sam?"_

"Honestly Carly, I never even wanted to break up" he got off the elevator and ignored Lewbert's cries, heading out to the parking lot.

"_But you're sure about the…" _he cut her off.

"Listen, I love her okay? I don't need to be ready, I'm ready" Freddie opened the door of his car and started the engine, buckling the seatbelt; he was a careful driver.

"_If you're sure… Oh my god this is awesome! Okay! I'll call her! Good luck Freddie!" _Carly squeaked and squealed before turning off the phone.

Freddie rushed to get to Sam's house before she could say yes. He couldn't lose her, not for some stranger jerk who barely knew her. He didn't know what possessed him, but when Brad said his jerkhead cousin was going to ask her out, he freaked out. Freddie never wanted the damn break up and he had to let her know that. He needed to say it, face to face. But the traffic wasn't helping. Two men were fighting in the middle of the street because of some fender bender. Freddie had to wait five precious minutes for the police to solve the commotion. Then Carly called again.

"_Freddie?"_

"Carly? What the hell, you should be talking to Sam not me!" he growled.

"_I tried, but she said the doorbell rang and hang up on me" _she explained _"I called again, and she said Will was there and she would call me back. I tried to stay on the line with her, distract her… but she just hang up on me. She said she would get rid of him and called me back, but it's been almost five minutes!"_

"Shit! Okay… alright… I'm not going to make it on time… I'll call her, and hopefully she'll pick up! Thanks Carls"

She had to pick up, maybe when she saw he was calling she would. Freddie dialed her number, ignoring the road. He was a careful driver anyway.

Sam was talking to Will on the living room. Well, he was doing the talking, she was just listening. The boy was a pretty boring version of Brad, and Sam had no idea why he was in her house or what he wanted, but as soon she could, she would get rid of him and call Carly.

"So Sam… what I've been trying to say…"

"And failing miserably" she said, her patience was long gone.

"Is that… I wanted to ask you out on a date" he finally, after almost five minutes, concluded what the heck he wanted to say.

Sam analyzed the boy in front of her for a second. He was blond, scrawny, with twigish arms and blue eyes. His hair was thick, and looked heavy, and his eyes were too small for his face. So unlike Freddie's, they were just the perfect shape, size… and color… brown. Sam loved brown, reminded her gravy, cupcakes, chocolate and Freddie's eyes. Will had nice skin, but Freddie had perfect skin. Will had nice lips, but Freddie had perfect lips… and the list goes on. She couldn't look at any other boy without comparing him to the dork, in other words, she was doomed. Sam knew the answer to his question right away. She wanted to be ready for the biggest, most stupid techy dork in the face of earth, and hooking up with other boys wasn't going to help her. Will was nice, but unfortunately for her there was only one guy, and it wasn't him.

But before she could answer anything, her phone rang. Again. She planned to just ignore it, and tell Will to buzz off, but she saw it wasn't Carly calling, but Freddie. She just had to answer.

"_Hey dorkhead" _he let out a breath her was holding at the sound of her voice.

"Hey Sam… we need to talk"

"_What's going on?"_

"Listen… is Will there?" he drove past the red light, but he is just such a good driver.

"_Yeah… why?"_

"He asked you out didn't he?" he drove in between two cars, but he was a careful driver.

"_Yeah… how do you know that?"_

"It doesn't matter. Just don't say yes!"

"_I wasn't planning to"_

"Oh…" he sighed, slowing down the speed "thank god!"

"_Why?"_

"Because I never wanted to break up, okay? It was stupid and I did it because I thought you wanted it, but I don't, I never did! I love you. This is stupid Sam… I wanted to tell you face to face, but... I got caught up in traffic"

She didn't say anything for a while. The girl was awestruck, this was exactly what she wanted to tell him but couldn't.

"_Mama totally agrees"_ she smiled _"you're stupid"_

"Yeah… totally stupid" he laughed.

"_This is stupid"_ she laughed.

"So stupid!" they both laughed.

Freddie laughed at stopped at the red light. He managed to get halfway to Sam's house alive, and he didn't even paid attention to where he was going. Now he was going to fix the mess they both did, and hopefully never do it again. He smiled on the phone, knowing she would be smiling on the other line.

"_Get your ass in here Benson… this little conversation means nothing, we still have a lot of talking to do"_

"I believe we do Miss Puckett. I believe we do…"

He kept smiling, waiting patiently for the light to turn green. Quite a story this would be, tell Sam he almost killed himself on the streets just to get to her on time. Freddie was so lost into this amazing moment he was having with her, silently on the phone, that he didn't notice the truck coming right in his direction. The light was green now. He drove.

"Get rid of him" he said "I don't wanna see his jerk face when I get there"

"_You're not the boss of me Benson!" _she said with a laugh _"I'll do it only because I was already planning to do it"_

"Fine Puckett, whatever you say"

"_Hey Will…sorry I can't date you!" _Sam forced the boy out of her house_ "Bye!" _Freddie laughed, hearing the door slamming hard _"pronto. But don't you think this was because of you"_

"Alright Princess Puck-"

The truck hit his car, right on the driver's side. All Sam could hear on the other line was a loud crash. She thought Freddie might've dropped his phone on the floor or something. Part of her knew it was a stupid thing to think, but the other one was too frightened to think anything else. Freddie's car flipped twice. While he was hanging upside down, for nothing more that less than a few seconds, everything turned white… not black like in the movies, but white.

"_Freddie? Freddie? Are you there? Talk to me! What's going on?"_ his resistant pear phone was lying a few meters away from his car, still working.

In the end, he was a good driver, but not a careful one. He just forgot one little thing he never should've overlooked.

The sides.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys, maybe most of you will be surprised with how things are going to unfold in this story, but I just gotta say I wanted to do something different. This fic is actually based on a dream I had, and in the story I heard from a friend. This story is about believing in things you can't see, and how strong love can be, also about the power of positive thinking, no I'm not talking about bringing the dead back to life! I hope you don't get disappointed with the plot so I hope whatever comes next you guys can enjoy it. I'll try not to make it OOC.<strong>


	3. Blinding

_Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state_

_A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake_

_No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber_

_Until I realize that it was you who held me under_

_(Florence and The Machine – Blinding)_

* * *

><p>Freddie woke up lazily, eyes still closed. He didn't feel like getting up, for that he was so comfortable, maybe even light, the boy never felt so weightless before. He rubbed his eyes and reluctantly sat upright, he felt so good he didn't want to wake up at all. However, something felt odd, out of place. Freddie didn't remember going to bed the previous night, in fact he had no record of it at all. <em>What happened?<em> He questioned, rubbing his eyes once more before opening them slowly.

At first, he didn't notice where he was, but he looked down and realized he was still wearing his sneakers. _What the heck? I slept with my shoes on and my mother didn't freak out? Is this real life?_ Then his brown eyes travelled up to his thighs, covered by the dark material of his jeans. _Okay, my mother is definitely not home._ He stood up and stretched his back like every morning. How the heck he ended up in bed fully clothed was a mystery, but then again he couldn't remember a thing about the previous night. Maybe he was studying and fell asleep on his bed still wearing his tee, jeans and shoes. Only… that wasn't his room.

The morbid white furniture definitely did not belong to his bedroom, or his house. His mother might be a neat freak, but she had a specific taste for wood, classic furniture was one of her favorite things in the world. No furniture on his apartment was white, so this definitely not his home. Freddie looked around for a bit, missing the important details as he went, only focusing only on the goddamn furniture. After putting the obvious pieces together, the boy realized that was a hospital room, he did watch _House_ very often. _A car._ He reminisced. He was in the hospital room, and he remembered a car, not sure how the dots were connected. Maybe he was on a fender bender and his mother brought him to the hospital.

"Okay, I'm wearing jeans, sneakers and a white t-shirt. I'm not even in a hospital robe, so it's definitely not a big deal" he looked at his arms and legs. Lifted his shirt up, and touched his face "no bruises, and I feel fine. In fact I feel better than ever before"

Ignoring everything else, he made a beeline for the door. Whatever the reason he was there, it was gone and he was fine. The doctor and his mother needed to know that. He was just about to touch the doorknob, when someone opened the door. And there he was, facing Sam Puckett. She walked into the room, ignoring his presence and made a beeline for the bed. She wouldn't look directly at him but at something else. _I was going to Sam's last night. That's it!_ Suddenly it made much more sense why he was in the hospital.

Maybe she got angry and knocked him the head for something he said or did. _This wouldn't be the first time she puts me in a hospital, I guess that's not big deal. _But why wasn't Sam looking at him? Perhaps she was feeling guilty for putting him in a hospital. _That's a possibility. Or maybe I did something bad and she's mad. Is she mad because I want to get back together? _

Sam stood near the bed with a magazine in her hand and her bag hanging on her shoulder. Her hair was pulled up on a ponytail, which Sam almost never wore, but nevertheless she looked pretty. That was not news for Freddie.

"Hey Sam… uh…" he got closer to her, but she still wouldn't look at him "I don't quite remember what happened, or what I said… but whatever it was, let's talk about it so we can fix it"

She didn't respond, or looked at him.

"Sam come on! I'm not a mind reader" he said softly "if you don't wanna get back together, that's fine. Really. Just talk to me"

Sam continued to ignore him, eyes on something else. She kept her gaze at something bellow her, very intently. A pained, but caring expression longed in her face, and that made Freddie even more confused.

"Why are you ignoring me? I seriously don't remember anything that happened last night, so if you could at least help me, that would be cool" he begged.

The girl just sighed and took a sharp, long breath, like she was making an effort to hold back the tears. _Okay, what the heck is she looking at? _He followed her eyes, to find out what she was staring at. The first time his eyes spotted whatever she was looking at, Freddie was beyond pass the line of confusion. Sam seemed to be staring at some guy, lying on a hospital bed. _Who is this? Was he here before? How come I didn't see him?_

Sam dropped her bag on the floor with a loud thud and sat on the chair next to the bed, opening the magazine.

"Hey" she said softly to the guy lying on the bed.

"Sam? Who is this?" he kneeled next to her, but she still wouldn't look at him "who is this guy? What are we doing here and why won't you talk to me?"

Without an answer to any of his questions, Freddie decided to take charge and moved to the other side of the bed, to take a better look at the person lying there. The guy's head was full of dark brown hair, he was wrapped up with medical tubes and machines. Freddie took a step closer.

"I bought the newest edition of that magazine that you like… _Techy Nubs"_ she showed him the cover of _Techy News,_ and for a moment Freddie thought she was talking to him "they have this article about this new pear phone that's about to be released. They say it's going to be the best phone so far in the industry, but that's not news, they always say that"

_Sam _was reading_ Techy News? Sam? His Sam? _No, that was not possible. She kept reading an article about pear phones in a low, but hearable voice._ Maybe I'm in Twilight Zone. _Freddie looked back at the guy on the bed, he had a tube inside his mouth and a strange thing attached to his face, like it helped him to breath. He had other things attached to his arms as well. What caught Freddie's attention the most was the big scar on the guy's forehead. It started just bellow his hair line, right in the middle of his forehead and ended on the side of his head right next to a little mole.

_Dang he looks familiar… where have I seen him before?_

"So, that's pretty much it, the new pear phone are going to be a blast, but you get the point" Sam closed the magazine and tossed inside her bag "I figured I'd give you some break from your nerdy world. I brought you that book you love _The Game Of Thrones, _shall we finish the last chapter Benson?" she said and smiled a little.

_Benson? Is she talking to me? _Freddie looked back at the guy lying on the bed, only this time, he really looked at him. He stumbled backwards.

"No! It can't be! This must be a weird dream. I can't be there" he pointed at the bed "if I'm here!"

Freddie freaked out. This must be some weird, weird dream. He wasn't lying on a bed, he was fine and standing up. How could he be in two places at the same time?

"Wake up! Wake up, wake up Freddie!" he hit the sides of his head with both hands "no damn it! Wake up!"

Sam smiled, and closed the book, she was about to start reading, but decided against it. Instead, she reached for his hand and grabbed it, making Freddie's hand tingle.

"I miss you nerd. I know, I know, I see you every day, but it's not the same thing. Carly says I have to stop coming here all the time, but I can't… I" her voice was shaken "I just wish you would open your nubish eyes Freddie… it's been such a long time"

He began to hyperventilate. Nothing of this made any sense to him. How come? What happened…? Suddenly, a flashback crossed his mind. He was talking on the phone with Sam, then suddenly he wasn't anymore. Something had hit him, and after that he couldn't remember anything.

"No… please no" he begged "it can't be truth… no… I was just… it was the green light… how come…?" he broke down.

Freddie was having a major breakdown; his world was suddenly crumbling down. What was him? A ghost? What happened and why is he there? The track of his thoughts was lost when someone wearing a scrub walked into the room. The woman appeared to be thirty something, had red hair and lots of freckles.

"Hello Samantha" she greeted Sam, who grunted.

"Come on Laney! I just got here!" Sam whined.

"I know, I'm not here for that" the woman looked between Sam and the Freddie on the bed "I just need to check on him"

Sam nodded and held Freddie's hand. She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb, never taking her eyes off him.

"Seven months today" said Sam "I brought him a fatcake, and a candle, but I figured you wouldn't let me light up a candle here, so I just ate the fatcake and threw away the candle"

"Yeah, you're right, no candles here" Laney was checking Freddie's machines "seven months huh? And you come here everyday"

"You know it" Sam shrugged "besides, I can't let the dork all alone here, even nerds need some company"

_Seven months? I've been on a coma for seven months? _Freddie looked between Laney and Sam, hoping this was a very, very bad joke, or just a very, very bad dream. Like the ones you have with Freddy Krueger. The two people in the room were silent for a bit, Laney was still checking on Coma Freddie, and Sam who was just staring at him.

"Can I have an extra minute today?" asked Sam "you know… seven months it's such a long time…"

"Okay Sam" Laney laughed "Marissa was here sooner, doing the exact same thing you're doing right now"

"Crazy gets to see him all the time, she works here, that's not fair. And people complain because I'm here every day" she scoffed.

"Maybe you should get a job here too, you know, you could be closer to him"

"Really?" Sam jumped to her feet "why didn't you tell me this sooner… like seven months ago?"

"I've been told you're not the working type, but after seven months of extreme dedication, I figured… eh why not?" Laney shrugged.

"What can I do here? Besides cleaning, cause that I can't do at all"

"You could help the nurses, be a volunteer. You would get a cute uniform, and a lots of time to see Freddie"

"I'll take it!" Sam celebrated "when can I start?"

"Tomorrow. Just get here after school and look for me" with that she left, leaving Sam and the two Freddies alone again.

Sam smiled and sat back on the chair, holding Freddie's hand a little tighter, making it tingle again.

"Did you hear that? I have a job! Oh my god, this is so surreal" she laughed "mother and Carly will freak!"

He looked between Sam and himself, lying on a hospital bed. The hard truth hit him, along with some of the memories. He was in a coma, for seven months after a car crash.

"No…" his whole world came crashing down.

She kept her gaze on him for several minutes. Freddie kneeled next to Sam, who was sitting on the small chair near the bed. He just looked at her, Sam smiled, very briefly, then her eyes were filled with sadness. He tried to reach out for her, touch her, but she rose up, collecting her bag and the book, bending over and kissing the Freddie on the bed. Her lips, sweet and soft, touched his forehead, still and cold, and for a while Freddie could feel that familiar feeling of love and caring inside his chest again. Whenever she would touch his body, he, still not sure of what he was, would feel the impact of her touch. The slightest, most brief and gentle touch would make him feel alive.

"I see you tomorrow Freddison. Goodbye" she brushed her lips against his scar and turned around.

Sam stopped a few inches away from him, sighing again. Whenever she would leave him, sadness overcame her, like she was leaving a part of herself, like a big chunk of her heart. Freddie looked at her for a moment, just looked at her. He wished she could see him, talk to him, hear him, but she didn't. He was invisible. Sam moved again, so Freddie stepped out of her way and watched as she left.

He looked over his body, then at the door closing behind Sam. Deciding to follow her, he didn't know for sure how this was supposed to work. Could he walk through walls? He took an experimental step towards, the now closed door, and closed his eyes. Rushing forward, still attached to his humanity, he protected his face with his arms, afraid to bump against the wall and hurt himself. When his brown eyes were opened again, Freddie saw he was already out of the room. _Looks like I can walk through walls. _

Freddie continued his task to follow Sam out of the hospital. He wondered what his friends and smothering mother were doing at that right moment. Never occurred to Freddie, since the moment he woke up, why he woke up only after seven months. Based in what he heard earlier, Sam was there by his side, talking to him every day, so it wasn't her presence or the sound of her voice that woke him up, then what did? He followed her to the Bushwell plaza, noticing how she listened silently to music on her pear pod and ignored the looks from guys on the streets. It was like she didn't even noticed the lustful way some guys looked at her.

Sam reached the lobby of the Bushwell plaza, ignoring Lewbert's yells, not arguing or shoving her tongue out like she usually did. The trip inside the elevator was quiet, Sam casually tapped her hand on her thigh to the beat of the music, while Freddie observed her. She couldn't see him, or hear him so he didn't speak. When they reached the eight floor, Sam took her time, maybe more than necessary to make a beeline to Carly's apartment door before opening. The whole time since he woke up, he felt like crying, this was all too painfully surreal for his believes.

To him, seeing this loft, this furniture and the people inside it, was something he had been doing yesterday, something so common, a part of his routine. Carly was sitting on the couch watching Girly Cow as always, Spencer was on the kitchen and Brad occupied Freddie's regular spot, the computer.

"Hey Sam" Carly greeted.

"Hey cupcake, Spencer, Brad" she nodded at them.

"Hey Sam" Brad said over his shoulder.

"Hey kiddo" Spencer closed the fridge, a pudding cup in his hand "at the hospital again?"

"You know it" Sam said, earning a worried glance from Carly "but today I bring news"

"News?" Carly rose to her feet quickly "news?"

"Yes, I've got a job" Sam said with a wicked grin.

"A job?" everyone in the room said in unison.

"You?" Brad abandoned whatever he was doing and turned around "really?"

"Yeah" she said cockily.

"Where?" Spencer questioned.

"The hospital" she announced.

"Sam…" Carly said worriedly, and rubbed her face "really?"

"Yeah" Sam ignored Carly's worried tone and walked to the fridge, ready for her daily portion of ham "Laney said I can use a uniform and help out the nurses"

"You and I both know, you're only doing this to stay in the hospital for a few more hours" Carly said cooly.

"You know me too well" Sam shrugged "I can open the door and take a peek on him from time to time" she said giddily.

"Sam…" Carly began, but Spencer interrupted her.

"Well, this is just too nice, but I gotta go to Socko's. Good luck on your job Sam" he, and the pudding cup passed by Freddie, closing the door on his way out.

"I've gotta pee" Sam said before Carly could say anything else.

Freddie remained in the room, observing Carly and Brad. She seemed worried about Sam, and Brad seemed worried that she was worried about Sam. He stepped closer to his best friend, who waited for Sam to be fully out of sight to start speaking again.

"This is such a bad idea" Carly muttered.

"Carly…" Brad sighed in frustration.

"No Brad, this is not healthy! Didn't you hear her?" Carly hissed "_I can_ _take a peek on him from time to time?_"

"Try to understand!" he argued "she loves him and he loved her, this is not an easy thing to deal with, and besides he's still alive, and that gives her hope"

He _loved _her. The past tense bothered Freddie, but that was beside the point.

"You think this isn't hard for me too?" Carly shot back "he is my best friend! Do you know how many times I dreamed that he would wake up, they would get back together, have cute babies and we could go back to do iCarly? And we all would live happily ever after!"

"Baby, I know that" he walked over her, wrapping his arms around her hips "I do too, all the time, but this way she's closer to him"

"I'm afraid she'll…" Carly stopped talking when Sam returned to the room.

"Hey lovebirds!" she said before leaning against the back of the couch "so Carly, there is no more ham in your fridge, I guess you lovebirds will want to make out a bit, so I'm going to get the hell out of here"

Sam picked up her purse and headed out the door. Freddie followed her, not really sure where he was supposed to go, or do. Sam waited outside Carly's apartment for a bit, before taking a pin of her pocket and picking the lock of Freddie's apartment.

"Some things never change" he mused sadly.

Not bothering to see if someone was home, Sam made a beeline to Freddie's room, locking the door behind her. She threw her purse on the floor and removed her shoes before sliding down her pants and taking off her shirt. There she was, in his room, half naked for the second time. Freddie felt his stomach flip flop, he had no idea why she was undressing in his room, but he couldn't say he hated it. Sam adjusted her ponytail, turning it into a bun and stepped inside his bathroom.

"Shit…! What…? Why…?" even being invisible, Freddie could feel his boyish hormones kicking in.

He had a naked girl in his shower, just not any naked girl, it was Sam and he happened to be in love with her. No knowing what else to do, he sat quietly on his bed waiting for her to come out. Sam came out of the bathroom, a few minutes later, wrapped up in one of his Galaxy Wars towels.

"Holy shit…" he said to himself "should I look? Should I close my eyes?"

Being raised by his mother, Freddie did what the gentleman inside of him told him to, he closed his eyes when Sam dropped the towel on the floor. A minute later, Freddie peeked through his fingers, seeing her standing in front of his closet, wearing one of his shirts. The plaid shirt he wore the night they broke up… the night they made love for the first time.

"Sam? Why are wearing that?" he asked dumbly, even knowing she couldn't answer, or hear for that matter.

She let her hair down and flopped down his bed, making Freddie, once again, protect his face with his hands. She scooted under the covers and set his alarm clock to seven. Freddie realized it coincided with the time his mother left from her shift, giving Sam a twenty minute window to get dressed and escape. She turned on his pear pod, connected to his stereo and selected one of many Freddie's playlists. _Sleeping songs_ was the one of her choosing. Back when they were dating, Sam would always add new songs to his playlists, and even change the ones she didn't like. She used to say _it will help you improve your nubish taste_, but Freddie knew she just wanted him to think about her when he heard the songs she picked.

He smiled at the memories, and even more so when she chose Big Star's _Thirteen_ to play. He used to fall asleep with that song, thinking about her. If it wasn't for Sam he would never know that song. She was a _That 70ths Show's_ fan, and that same song happened to play in the show. Sam also got him hooked on it, they used to sit in his room watching the many seasons of it.

"You're one hell of an influence on me, won't you Puckett?" he smiled.

Sam smiled, not necessarily at him, but that was already enough. The music was low, and smooth, she picked up the picture of the two of them that rested over his nightstand and ran her index finger over his figure.

"Nighty dork" she put the picture back in the place "well, afternoon, but you get my point"

"Yeah, I do"

"Now, I'm going to take a nap. You know I'm officially making this room mine, it's comfortable and clean, so I like it. Finders, keepers' loser!" she chuckled.

Freddie smiled widely and lay next to her, on his side, facing her. Sam closed her eyes and fell asleep quickly. Truth be told, she used to come and take a nap almost every week, she wore his clothes because they still smelled like him, and she rested her head from all thoughts of sadness that hang inside of it on daily basis. Although she was careful enough to leave before Crazy arrived. Her own home wasn't nearly as cozy as the smell and the feel of Freddie's room.

Freddie knew, somehow, he couldn't fall asleep, so he just watched her. It still didn't seem real the fact that he was a ghost, or sort of it. He couldn't classify what he was, or why he was there, he also didn't know why he woke up only after seven months of being in coma. What had happened that was so especial, or strong to make him… this? Answer wouldn't come easily, since he barely could remember everything that's happened to him. At the moment, there was nothing he could do, so Freddie decided to put his problems aside and just lay there, facing Sam asleep. He wasn't going anywhere, so problems could wait, besides, there was nothing he could do at the moment.

* * *

><p><strong>So, I' hope you guys are not disappointed, I wanted to try something different. I don't know if this is OOC, specially for Sam, but I just like to think she wouldn't just avoid seeing him, or give up on him or just pretend nothing was happening. My Sam, loves him and she doesn't want to lose hope that one day he might wake up, she doesn't want him to stay alone because if it was her lying on that bed, she knew Freddie would never do that to her. Giving the circumstances, I like to think this is the way she would act, caringly. You guys should really check out the song I mentioned above "Thirteen" it fits the scene so well.<strong>


	4. You Belong To Me

_And I know, even if your hope is gone_

_You belong, you belong to me, to me_

_I'm coming home and I know it won't be long_

_Before you belong, you belong to me…_

_(Cobra Starship – You Belong To Me)_

* * *

><p>Two more months of pure nothing. All Freddie could do was sit and stare, as life went by without him. Carly insisted with Sam they needed film iCarly, and even so Sam would never agree on going back without Freddie, she missed it. Sure, she still kept her tough shell, but she wasn't harassing anyone on daily basis, Freddie knew that was because the sparkle within her was dead, or asleep, like him. Sam would still come to the hospital, only this time she actually worked there. It was a shock to everyone who knew Sam, she wasn't known as the working type, but this way she could be closer to the dork. Laney even let her give him a bath… well, not an actual bath, because that would be embarrassing, but a hospital bath.<p>

Marissa wasn't very pleased at first, but after a while she cooled down. Sam wasn't exactly Marissa's favorite person, but she was sure dedicated to her baby boy, that was an understatement. Freddie's other friends just moved on with their lives, the closest ones, like Brad, Carly and Gibby would visit him sometimes, and still thought about him, but this was nothing compared with Sam's dedication. She would read for him every day, and Freddie found deeply amusing the way she incorporated the characters of the books she read, or the way she tried to spell the nubish words of his favorite magazine. And of course, she still made fun of him, even if he was in coma and couldn't defend himself, or even protest.

"You seriously need a haircut Benson" she said, brushing his now long bangs to the side "you kinda look like Brad with this hair, and the Biebs' haircut does not work for you. You're more of a… Taylor Lautner kinda guy"

"Oh, you got that right" he chuckled, watching her play with his dark brown hair.

Two long, maddening months had gone by and Freddie still didn't know why he woke up. Not even a clue. It's not like he tried to go back into his body or wake up, but nothing seemed to work, so eventually he gave up. _It's only for a while, something will happen eventually, _he kept telling himself, but eventually never came and he was beginning to lose hope, bit by bit.

"When you wake up, the first thing I'm going to do is make you buy me a thousand smoothies because all of the work you're giving me dweeb" that was the only thing that made him keep believing, that one day his situation might change. _If she believes why shouldn't I?_

Sam finished cleaning him up, and gave him a sweet kiss on the forehead. The only time she allowed herself to be slightly sweet, was when she thought no one was watching. Too bad for her, Freddie was always watching. She hoped he was going to wake up eventually, for her that was a solid fact. Unlike Carly or Marissa, Sam knew in her gut he was going to come back eventually. Her faith on him seemed strong as steel, and unshaken.

"Samantha?" Marissa entered the room "you're here already"

"Yep Crazy, I'm here, as always" Sam gave Marissa a wicked grin "I was giving him a cleanup. He needs a haircut ASAP"

"I know" she replied "so?" she said awkwardly.

"So what?" Sam replied, ignoring Marissa's face and focusing on Freddie's hair.

"Oh… you know, your shift is over so you probably should go home, it's almost seven"

"Ah…" Sam looked down at the watch she stole from Freddie, disappointed because she had to leave "well, I'll do that"

This was her least favorite hour of the day. Sam would go home, but her head and her heart stayed at the hospital. When she got home there wasn't much to do, and most nights she didn't feel like going to Carly's. Every time she was sitting at Carly's couch, her eyes were on the TV, but her focus was on the door. She silently hoped Freddie would just walk in someday, even if it was a stupid thing to think. Most of the days, she would just sit in her room and watch TV, maybe read a little, eat at then fall asleep. The same old boring routine.

Marissa's life wasn't very different. She worked long hours in the hospital, always stopping by at Freddie's room. She would sit by his side and cry, but he didn't know that because he was always with Sam, everywhere she went. Marissa would go home and just eat dinner by herself, because T-Bo was at work, then she would watch Friends and fall asleep. T-Bo wasn't much of a friend to Marissa, but she didn't mind.

She always wanted to have a daughter, and when she found out she was pregnant, she first thing Marissa did was buy a jewelry box. Even thought she didn't get the girl she always wanted, she gave the jewelry box to Freddie, not knowing exactly why. Being a boy, Freddie could just throw it away or toss it aside, but like the good boy that he is, he kept it in his dresser. Because he was such a good boy. She would always fall asleep with the music from the jewelry box. Most of the nights Marissa spent at the hospital, she would talk to Freddie, tell him stories about his father and how she used to be before the wedding. But he never heard any of her stories, he was too busy following Sam around.

It was like a magnetic connection, like he was dragged towards her almost against his will. He didn't know why, but he just had to go with her.

"Mother! I'm home!" Sam announced opening the front door.

"I bet she's not home" Freddie said, following Sam into the small house.

"I bet she's not home" she sighed.

"I guess great minds think alike" he said with a smile.

Sam tossed her bag and coat on the bed and started to undress herself from her uniform. She absolutely hated her pink, girly uniform, but Freddie thought she looked so damn cute in it.

"Stupid thing!" she whined, getting off her uniform "I don't know how come I don't have cooties from all this pink"

Freddie laughed and turned around. Two months following Sam around and he didn't even take a little peek. He was a gentleman after all, and he had certainly very respect for her to even do that once. Sure, he wanted to. A lot. He had opportunity and probably she would never know, but that wasn't the kind of boy he was. Sam walked out of the shower already dressed in her PJs, aka Freddie's old church pants penny t and his green boxers.

She often stole his clothes from time to time, wore them, washed them with the same soap Marissa used and put back in its place. Kinda creepy, right? But that was just her way to keep him closer when he was far away, and to take possession of his things, she often did that in the past. Freddie sat on the edge of her bed and waited until she was under the covers to join her. He would always lay down next her and watch her sleep. There wasn't much he could do, since he couldn't sleep or really touch anything he spent the nights either dreaming with his eyes open or memorizing the curves of her face. It was getting bored, not being able to do pretty much anything.

"Oh well… what to do?" she asked herself "maybe I should watch a little TV… maybe a movie… but which movie?"

"You haven't watched the Wizard of Oz I bought you yet" he said "that was an expensive blue ray DVD, and you didn't even watched it…"

"I guess I can go with…" she got up and walked to the shelf were she put all her DVDs and books "well, I haven't see you yet"

Sam put the movie on the DVD and came back to the bed, hiding under the covers. She pressed play and the Wizard of Oz started.

"What…?" his eyes went wide with realization "you heard me?" he sat up.

"Did you hear me Sam?"

She didn't reply. He asked her at least ten times, but she didn't answer. Freddie's attempts to get her attention were in vain, she was pretty oblivious to the fact he was there. Sam fell asleep in the middle of the movie, by then Freddie had already decided to let it go, she probably just thought about the movie herself, with no intervention from him what so ever. The next morning, Sam got up early, and got ready to go to the hospital. Weekends had always been her favorite part of the week, but now it was for different reasons. She got no school and the whole day in the hospital with Freddie.

She was there mostly because of him, but she couldn't deny she liked it a little bit. The work wasn't that hard, and she got to witness pretty hardcore stuff, so it was good for her. Although not good enough to become a doctor, that wasn't a possibility. Sam went to the kitchen and made herself a small breakfast for her usual eating habits, but she happened to be late and she wanted to get there in time.

"Hey kiddo" her mother walked into the kitchen dressed in sweat pants and a bra "up early"

"Seriously?" Freddie asked himself "put a shirt on lady!"

"I'm… but why are you?" she asked with a mouthful of donuts.

"I just got home. Shelly's bachelorette's party was awesome"

"Sure" he snorted.

"Good for ya" Sam swallowed the last donut and attacked her coffee.

"Why are you in a hurry? It's Saturday, you don't have school"

"I'm not going to school, I'm going to the hospital" Sam finished her coffee and put the mug into the sink.

"Sam…"

Pam wasn't very pleased to see her daughter like that. Mostly, she was afraid Sam would end up like a cat lady, visiting her half dead boyfriend in the hospital every day. Pam might've her flaws, but she was a mother and as a mother she only wanted the best for her child.

"Mother?" Sam put the newspaper on her bag. She knew Freddie loved that stupid thing.

"Sam, it's been months, soon it will be a year and this year will turn into years…" she sighed "he'll never wake up, you have to move on with your life"

Sam breathed, put the bag back on the couch and controlled her nerves, this was her mother after all.

"He will wake up, and I don't really care how long it takes, I have nothing better to do in the mean time anyway"

"Sammy, there are other guys out there" she said and Sam tried to keep her cool

"Well, other guys are pretty disgusting and besides none of them will ever be able to put up with me. Freddie was the only one who knew how to" her statement made him smile.

"Sam…"Pam sighed.

Freddie watched intently between Sam and Pam. He had to admit he understood where Pam was coming from. His state was the same, no progress or reaction, and to be honest he started to believe he might not wake up. As much as he liked to have Sam's hope, he couldn't, being stuck in the position he was in for so damn long, made him lose his own hopes.

"Sam, you don't know that!" Pam argued "you can't keep doing this is not healthy!"

"Wanna talk about what's not healthy mother?" she asked with a more stern tone.

"Sam, let it go" Freddie stepped between Sam and Pam "please"

"It's you drinking you ass off and coming home in the morning. Freddie didn't choose to be in the position he's in, but you did, you make this choice everyday"

"Sam, come on! Don't do that" he begged.

"Samantha…" Pam started but was interrupted by Sam.

"If there is someone I should give up on is you, not him" she said bitterly "and you know what?"

"NO!" he hollered "please, Sam! Don't fight with your mom; she's just trying to take care of you. Please Princess Puckett"

Sam backed out suddenly. She felt a weird, warm and familiar sensation all around her. She was going to say something very hurtful to her mother, but something made her change her mind, she wasn't sure of what though. Still, she backed out, grabbed her bag and went out the door.

Saturdays were sad for Carly. Every Saturday she went to the hospital down town Seattle to visit Freddie. Every time a little bit of her died with him, seeing her friend lying on a hospital bed for almost a year killed her. And Sam was killing her too. Carly knew she loved Freddie and how much she loved Freddie, but Sam was practically living in the hospital. She feared her best friend was going to go mental.

Carly and Brad arrived at Freddie's room soon that morning. She always would bring him flowers, even though Sam said it was stupid thing to do. Brad would bring him news about the technologic scenario and message of support from the fans. Every time they arrived there, Sam was already in the room, making fun of Freddie and laughing. Carly found that preoccupying, and Brad found it sweet, he would do the same thing if it was Carly there.

"Hey Sam" Carly opened the door carrying a vase with violets.

"Hey Carls, Brad" she was making a mustache on Freddie, who smiled with an eye roll, leaning against the wall.

"Hey Sam" Brad replied.

"Sam, don't do that!" Carly whined "don't paint his face!"

"I'm the one who's going to clean up after him later, so I'll do whatever I want" she shrugged.

"So, you bath him?" Brad asked.

"More like clean him up" she responded, finishing her work of art on the boy's face.

"Oh Sam…" Freddie mused "just because I can't defend myself… heck she would do it even if I could"

"So? How long have you been here?" Carly asked.

"A couple of minutes. But now that you're here to keep him company, I'm going outside to eat something" she put the pen over the nightstand "my mother ruined my breakfast"

"How so?" Brad asked.

"Walking around the house in a bra and sweat pants" she lied.

"Ew…" they said.

"Alright, gotta feed myself some sugga!" Sam patted her belly "be right back dorkhead"

After Sam departed, Carly sighed and sat down on the bed next to Freddie. He didn't leave after Sam this time, he stick around to see his friends, that didn't even know he was there.

"So…" she said, her voice shaken "how're you doing Freddie…?"

"Weird, but I can walk through walls, that's a kick" he replied, even though she couldn't hear. He was sure that if Brad could hear him, he would find that totally amazing.

"It's stupid to even ask" she said a little angry "he can't hear me!"

"Carly…" Bra put his hand on her shoulder "some studies say that people in coma can hear everything we say, sometimes I think. He can hear you"

"But he can't answer me!" she cried "I hate seeing him like that"

"Me too" Brad looked sadly to his best friend "I miss him too Carls"

"I miss you too" Freddie said "both of you"

She put her hands on her face and started to sob. Saturdays were sad for Carly because unlike Sam, all her hopes were dead, and all that was left from Seddie was Sam… Seddie was now Sam, because Freddie wasn't coming back.

"Don't cry Carls" Freddie begged "I'll be alright… you'll see" his words held no conviction.

Carly and Brad left a few minutes after Sam returned. After Sam got out of her shift, she went to the Groovy Smoothies. The fight with her mother was heavy and she needed to vent. The last thing Sam wanted was to come home and see Pam. She was sitting on her regular table, and Freddie occupied the same spot he always would, in front of her. Because she kept her gaze forward, it felt almost like she was looking at him.

"You know…" he started "you haven't ate any real food today… you really should eat some real food Sam… and fatcake is not food!"

"God T-Bo, what's taking you so long with this damn smoothie?" she growled.

"Smoothies aren't food either Sam"

"Gosh Sam, wait a little…" he screamed "I'm coming!"

"Lazy ass" she muttered under her breath.

Freddie chuckled. T-Bo wasn't really a lazy ass, but whatever.

"Here, here" he gave her the smoothie "you know you could always go to the counter and order, then get your own smoothie"

"Yeah right" she scoffed "like mama would do that"

"Fine" he said.

"T-Bo, tell her she needs some real food" Freddie begged.

"You wanna buy French fries on a stick?" he asked, Freddie smacked himself in the forehead.

Sam gave T-Bo, a _what the heck_ look. She honestly didn't know what was wrong with him.

"No T-Bo… I don't"

He shrugged and walked back to the counter.

"He's got some serious problems" they said together and shared a laugh, even if she didn't know that.

"Hey Sam" a voice called from behind her.

Freddie was the first to see him and he wasn't pleased. Why does that jerkface have to come back? Sam turned around and saw Will. Last time she saw him, she was practically kicking him out of her house and waiting for Freddie. Of course that what happened to Freddie wasn't Will's fault, not directly, but Freddie couldn't help but think that, if he didn't show up at Sam's that night… nothing would've happened.

"Hey" she said uncomfortably.

Sam too thought that if he didn't show up, Freddie wouldn't have to rush to her house, and the accident would never happen. At the beginning she blamed Brad too, in her mind, if he didn't make that phone call, telling Freddie what his cousin was up to, she would just kick Will out of her house and Freddie would never got himself into an accident. After a while, seeing how bad Brad felt, and how miserable he was, that his best friend was in a coma, she let it go.

"So? How's it going?" he sat next to her and Freddie growled.

"None of your business!" he growled again.

Freddie didn't like guys close to Sam, even more so because he couldn't do anything about it.

"It's going" she shrugged and tried to finish her smoothie quickly.

"I heard about Freddie… I'm sorry"

"I don't need your sympathy dickhead!" he hollered.

"Yeah, thanks" Sam grabbed her bag and looked for some money, she wanted to get out of there and end that conversation as soon as possible "Yo T-BO! Come get your money"

"I get that for ya" he said, taking his wallet out of his pocket.

"No need" she said.

"Yeah, no need pal!" Freddie got up when Sam got up.

"Come on Sam!" Will whined "I haven't seen you in quite some time, can't I have five minutes?"

"Sorry Will, I gotta go" she tossed the money on the table and headed out the door.

Freddie smiled satisfied. The months he's been following Sam around she never let any other guy get to her. Will followed her out.

"Sam, come on! Please. I only know you, Brad and Carly here. I think it would be nice if we could just go out for a bit"

"Dude, back off" she growled over her shoulder.

"Yeah, dickhead, back the off" Freddie said, walking beside him.

"Sam!" he grabbed Sam's forearm.

She felt like breaking his thin arm, but managed to control herself. In juvy she wouldn't be able to see Freddie, or Carly for that matter.

"I feel awful for what happened" he started "sometimes I just… I think that this is all my fault"

"You got that right, idiot" Freddie shouted "it's all your damn fault!"

"Please, I just want to sit down and grab a bite. I'll buy you all the food you can eat"

Sam started to considerate it. She could make him pay for her meal and then tell him to get lost. It wasn't such a bad idea. When Freddie saw her hesitation, he freaked out. She was going to say yes, they would go on a date, then she would forget all about him and he would be all alone again.

"No! Sam please! You can't! Please don't go out with him… you'll forget all about me" he hollered next to her, desperately, but she couldn't hear him.

"So? What do you say?" asked Will.

"Huh…" she put her finger in her chin and pretended to think.

She had no intention of going out with Will, or anyone for that matter, but she did appreciate a free meal. Freddie started to panic. That was it for him, she was going to move on and leave him all alone…

"No Sam! No please, don't! I love you, I'm here!" he begged "I'm here! I love you"

Freddie touched her shoulder. He didn't do much touching since he wasn't really able to touch anything, but out of desperation he tried to get her attention in any way possible. Sam felt a familiar jolt of electricity running through her veins. She didn't know where it came from, but her shoulder was tingling, it was like… Freddie was touching her again. Her heart started to beat faster and faster, like when he was around. Sam looked over her shoulder, then at her shoulder… that feeling was so… familiar.

"Sam?" he called, in hope she would listen, feel him o see him somehow "Sam, can you see me?"

He knew the answer was no, she was looking through him, but he knew she could feel him. Freddie smiled, she could feel him. If all his hopes were gone, they were definitely back on with full force now.

"You can feel me" he stated happily.

"Sam?" Will asked "Sam? So? You wanna go? Free meal?"

Sam blinked, getting out of her trance, although the familiar feeling kept burning on her shoulder, because his hand was there, touching her.

"I can't Will" she said simply, making Freddie smile "I have a boyfriend"

"Oh… I thought you were single"

"No I'm not" she said "I'm not single"

"Hear that? She's not! Now back off!" Freddie stepped in front of Sam.

"When I spoke to Carly, she said you were. So who is he?"

"Freddie" she said simply.

"ME" he shouted "get lost Will"

"But I thought that he…"

"Was in a coma?" she cut him off "so, is that supposed to mean something?"

"Well… yeah"

"But it doesn't" Sam said, looking at her shoulder again. The tingling sensation was gone "now I gotta go. Have a nice life"

She turned around leaving him there, alone in the night. Freddie walked by her side, dying to see if he could touch her hand. _That was progress _he thought, maybe… maybe things will start to change for him. Sam had a crazy urge to go back to the hospital. Only a crazy person would think that a boy in coma could've touched her, but Sam was never very sane, she needed to see him just once more.

Laney was leaving a patient's room and found Sam waiting for her on the reception. It was pass eight, and Sam's shift was over, so maybe she forgot something.

"Hey Sammy, did you forgot something?" she asked.

"No… Laney, I know its pass visiting hours, but I really need to see the dork just one more time" she begged.

"Sam… can't you wait and see him tomorrow?"

"No! It has to be now! Please?" in normal circumstances Sam wouldn't beg for anything, but those weren't normal circumstances.

"Okay, you can go! But that's the first and last time Sam, I swear" Sam smiled and practically ran to Freddie's room.

Laney felt sorry for Sam; the girl was so filled with hope, that one day her boyfriend was going to wake up… it was sad. And this was not healthy, but Laney had no place trying to crush a girl's dream. Sam set up Freddie's iPod on the small boombox she stole from his room. He needed music, because silence was too boring. She chose Foster The People's _Pumped Up Kicks, _he loved that song, and so did she.

"So dork. Lots of things happened today, but nothing really important. And that's why I'm here to do something more useful with my time"

"Thank you" he said "for not going out with him"

"Look at what I've got" she took a silver scissor out of her purse "I picked up from my bathroom this morning, but I forgot to use it. Actually I was saving for tomorrow, but heck, tomorrow is too far away"

"What the hell are you going to do with that?" he asked terrified.

Freddie didn't see her grabbing any scissors, but then again he never opened his eyes until she was out of the bathroom and fully clothed, and he didn't see what she did when she was inside. Shit.

"You need a haircut ASAP…and guess what?" she asked, grabbing a towel from the cabinet and putting around his neck "ASAP is right now"

"Oh my god Sam! Please don't do this!" he pleaded, she smirked, grabbed a cup that was on her bag and filled with water from the bathroom tap "oh my god, someone save me! Save my hair!"

"I think this cup is clean…" she looked at the cup, now filled with water "anyway, let's start this thing!"

"Oh god!" he whined "save my hair!"

She started her work on his hair, throwing cold water at his face and brushing his damp bangs carefully with a comb, and began to cut, singing _"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks. You better run, better run, outrun my gun. All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, better run, better run faster than my bullet"_

Freddie sat back and suffered for his hair, but smiled. Today was a good day and he had the feeling things were going to improve from now on. And he wasn't wrong… sort of.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it's been taking so long guys! But I've been addicted to The Hunger Games and I just started Catching Fire! I'm so in love with Peeta Mellark! He's like… I don't know… PERFECT! He reminds me so much of Freddie, he is now my number two! Freddie is first place of course! I'm so happy Josh Hutcherson will be playing him in the movie, he's just the way I pictured Peeta. He is the perfect Peeta to me! Anyway, I love him and surprisingly Haymitch, Prim is cool too, and I love Effie! The rest, blah, I don't care or I hate! Especially Gale, I dislike his character so much, since the first lines about him in the book. And Katniss, I don't like her either! Well, anyway, I'm going to work now before my dad finds out I'm skipping it! Bye!<strong>


	5. Chasing Pavements

_Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere? _

_Would it be a waste even if I knew my place, should I leave it there?_

_Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements_

_Even if it leads nowhere…?_

_(Adele – Chasing Pavements)_

* * *

><p>Marissa Benson loved two things in her life, soap and her son Freddie. When her husband died she didn't have much to hang on to, except her son Freddie. He was perfect and ever since the day the boy was born she knew that. Marissa couldn't do anything perfectly, she wasn't the perfect wife, daughter, student or nurse, she never did anything with perfection until Freddie was born, he was her perfect thing. Even though he wasn't the girl she desired, Freddie was the best son in the world, so mature for his age and always sweet.<p>

Her baby was a good boy. Marissa never wanted him to grow up, she didn't want him to leave her sight, but she dreamed of the day he would become a fine man and accomplish all his goals. After Mr. Benson died of cancer, Marissa had to change drastically, she had lost her husband, she couldn't afford to lose her baby too. So she became someone else entirely, everything little thing frightened her, every little flu, every little bug, every little bruise.

It wasn't healthy, she knew it, but the stakes were too high, she couldn't afford to risk it all. So she smothered him, suffocated him to a point the boy threatened to move out, and he did. Marissa had to cool out, but she never really did entirely, there were dangers in the world and it was her duty to protect her son of them. Although, Freddie was a teenage boys and teenage boys have hormones they can't control, or refuse to do so. First was that girl Carly, Marissa never liked Carly, she was too… too… she was a brat! Marissa didn't like the effect that the girl had on Freddie, and the way she took advantage of her son's feelings.

She made her thoughts about Carly known from the beginning. Freddie begged her to just stop but she couldn't bring herself to accept her son being someone's pet, and that was how that Carly girl treated him. The boy was so naïve, he didn't see the evil in people, but Marissa did, and she knew that girl was only using her innocent son. He would come home every day since the day he met her and talk about her all day, he talked about her all the time and Marissa knew that girl was dangerous.

Finally, one night, Freddie changed the topic of the conversation, instead of talk about Carly the whole night, he kept mumbling about a girl named Sam. At the beginning Marissa felt relieved to hear some other girl's name on his tongue, but the way Freddie put it, the girl was mean to him and he didn't like her. Marissa's first thought was _girls are mean to boys they have a crush on, that's a good sign._ However, after getting to know Sam, she was sure glad Freddie didn't like the girl, she would be a terrible influence on him.

But boys will always be boys, and to what it seemed, Freddie was a masochist, because he started to grow fond of the girl, even call her friend. At first, she didn't see any harm on the way he talked about Sam, but after the whole _never kissed a girl _subject, he changed the way he talked about her. Marissa was in denial, but deep inside she knew her boy very well to know that he didn't really hate that girl, it was quite the opposite really.

At the age of sixteen, Freddie started to smile at the mention of the delinquent's name, Marissa overlooked that, it wasn't really a big deal, sure they were friends, much for her unhappiness, but he was allow to have friends, if they didn't get him in trouble. Avoiding the inevitable she continued to live, she had to know that all of that fighting was more than just friendly. Then Gibby stopped the elevator that night and told her what she already knew deep inside. Freddie and the delinquent were dating.

She had to know, because the boy was too giddy, too happy, he smiled all the time and sometimes he hummed sweet songs. He was in love in a way he never been before, and she, his mother didn't notice that. Marissa wanted them to break up, but Freddie wouldn't leave that girl, so she gave up, sat back and accepted that she had lost the battle, but not the war. One morning, Freddie was asleep when she came from her shift, and she found his room oddly messed up. _That girl is rubbing off on him_. He had clothes on the floor and his stereo was repeating the same song over and over again. That same morning, Freddie seemed down, sad and she knew why when he told her about the break up.

Marissa thought she would be so happy when that day came, but her son seemed so sad, she couldn't possible happy.

Then the accident came, and she thought she was going to die. If something happened to her baby, there was nothing left for her to live for. It should have been a relief when the doctors told her Freddie was alive, but in a coma, but to Marissa it was the same thing. Freddie always told her that if he was ever in this situation he didn't want to live attached to machines, he rather be gone. She held on to him for that long because she couldn't let go, even if he wanted to.

"Marissa?" Dr. Brown called from behind her.

"Hi" Marissa got up, wiped the tears off her face with one hand and held Freddie's hand with the other.

She was there every morning when Sam was in school. Marissa was surprised with the dedication Sam had towards Freddie, not one day she lost hope he would wake up, and she envied Sam for that.

"I was just paying him a visit, I'll be back to my shift now" she said.

"No, that's not why I'm here for. Marissa, we have to talk about Freddie's condition"

"Oh…" she prayed he was going to tell her son made some improvement, any improvement.

"Sit down" he said quietly and somehow Marissa feared what he has to say "Marissa, I know how much you love your son…"

This is never a good start.

"But you have to consider the medical facts. Freddie hasn't made any progression and it's doubtful that after seven months he will wake up…" Dr. Brown is clear, but considering.

He starts to talk facts, medical facts that Marissa understands, but her mind is off, distant. All she can make of his words are: your son's never going to wake up.

"What I'm trying to say is; you already mentioned Freddie was against to this kind of life and even though I know keeping him alive is better than nothing, you have to consider your options. It's not very likely that he is going to wake up after so long"

"But there is a possibility right?" she asks.

"Yes, but it's not very significant"

"People spend years like this, doctor, I can't give up on my son just yet"

"I know Marissa, but as a doctor I needed you to understand the risks and the probability. I'm just saying it because the patient was against to this kind of living. I know you want to keep your son alive, but are you sure this is the best for him? You may want to consider his opinion in this matter"

Dr. Brown exited the room, since there is nothing left to say. Marissa on the other hand is left with a thousand of doubts and questions she's been asking herself for months. Is this the best for Freddie? What is the best for Freddie? Was she being selfish by keeping him here? Was he suffering? Would she end this suffering by letting him go? What is the best for Freddie?

Sam threw her books inside her locker. This is just like every other morning and she hates it. School has never been Sam's favorite place on earth, but Carly and Freddie always made it better. Carly. Freddie… Carly and Brad were already in class, but Sam liked to keep delaying the inevitability of being inside that classroom as much as she could. Science. She hated science, always had, that's why she threatened the new science teacher so he could pair her up with Freddie. The poor teacher was young, and he sure didn't want Sam Puckett giving him a hard time.

At the beginning he wasn't very please with that, Freddie kept saying Sam would only distract him and both would end up failing the class. She liked that, not him failing, but the fact she could distract him made her proud. Freddie had always been very focused in his studies, not even an earthquake could get him mind off of it, and the fact she could easily distract him made her smile.

So, just to be sure, she kept doing anything that was in her power to distract the boy. It was funny seeing Freddie's concentration going to shit whenever she started to bit her lip, flip her hair between her fingers and stick her chest upwards. Sam kept doing this for about three weeks, until Freddie got an A-, so she had to stop. Her dork was a flawless student and he must keep that way.

"When you get back to school, you're going to go crazy Benson. There's so much catching up for you to do" she said to herself.

"Don't remind me" Freddie muttered.

Sam dragged herself inside the classroom and forced her mind to concentrate. It's not like she wanted to get an A or something, but when Freddie woke up she wanted to show him she wasn't a total failure. Although, when Freddie woke up he would have to repeat the year, he would be a junior again. Sam hated the thought of him alone in junior year, while herself, Carly and Brad would be seniors. _No, _she thought, _he won't be alone in junior year_. Sam didn't have to think twice, her mind was made up, she looked at the empty seat beside her, the one that belonged to Freddie, and decided he wouldn't be alone in junior year. _It's not like I care about flunking a grade anyway._

Freddie sat beside her and watched Sam answer all the questions, never getting one right. She wasn't a master in science, he knew that, but she wasn't dumb either. If someone could hear him, they would know he was screaming for her to get it right, like it would make any difference, she couldn't hear a word he said. She as not even trying, and that made him angry.

"This is unacceptable Sam" he said walking into the hospital room right behind her "I know you know what a cell is. It's like you're not even trying, it's like you're lazier than usual"

Sam was already dressed in her uniform, carrying a bucket full of water and a sponge. Bath time. She was busy earlier helping Lane, so she left bath time for last. Freddie was happy with the delay but he knew that time would come eventually.

"So dork, now it's time to get all clean and shiny" she dug the sponge into the water and rubbed on his arm.

These were the times when Freddie's face was so flushed with embarrassment that he looked like a tomato. Whenever Sam would clean him up, he would feel his insides burning. His boyish hormones still chased him, even if he was a "ghost" or sort of. He came to the conclusion it wasn't the feeling, but the sight. He couldn't actually feel much, like hunger, sleep or pain, nothing physical, but the feelings were there with him, like fear, worry, desire or love. Freddie decided never to look whenever Sam was cleaning him, because the sight of her, cleaning his skin looked very appealing to him. Sure, he felt tiny tingles whenever she touched his body, but that was nothing compared to sight of it. The sight made it more real.

After the torturous bath time was over, he breathed in relief and watched her take a book out of the drawer on the nightstand. _Catching Fire_, the second book of _The Hunger Games _trilogy, Freddie just finished the first book the day of the accident. Sam would do the best reading of all times, where she would incorporate the characters.

"UGH! She is so frustrating! And stupid may I add" she growled.

"She's not that bad Sam, look at everything that happened to her, and now she thrown in an arena to kill or be killed, it's not so easy" he tried to justify, using the same speech he always had.

"Yeah, yeah, I know you think it's the game's fault" she said.

In times like these, Freddie would think she could actually hear him, but then he remembered she liked to talk to his body as if he could hear, or answer. Sometimes she would banter with his lifeless body, and Freddie would answer, even if she couldn't hear. Talk about the power of positive thinking.

"But that boy did all for her, he is the reason why she's alive in the first place and that's how she thanks him?"

One might think Sam would connect with Katniss, Freddie would always think she would like Katniss, because they have so much in common, but in fact she hated her. Sam read the first book in order to know what she was talking about when she started the second book for Freddie. She hated Katniss all the way, making the most unlikely character her favorite. Peeta Mellark. Peeta was Freddie's favorite, but that was no shock, they were so similar, but Sam would call him a wuss. A baker? A wuss. He expected her to like Gale, and yet she surprised him by despising the hunter and falling in love with the baker. Freddie couldn't understand.

Sam knew fully well why she liked Peeta the most. He was just like Freddie and he reminded her of her dork. All Peeta did for Katniss, what he sacrificed and suffered was so unappreciated and yet he would do it all over again if necessary. Sam knew Freddie would do the same for her, without even think twice. That was also why she hated Katniss, she was an ungrateful bitch, Sam would kill to have Freddie back while Katniss had Peeta and didn't appreciate that. Sure, she had her own insecurities and her walls of protection, Sam did too, before Freddie broke through them all, and she finally felt free. It was frustrating seeing a character that resembled her so much, who she used to be, frightened and messed up. _This must've been how the others saw me_, she mused.

"That's all for today. I can't take more of this Katniss bullshit. You know, I don't root for her and Peeta to stay together, she doesn't deserve him, he is far too good for her" she stated angrily.

"I don't know how you can be so angry over a book Sam. It's just a book" he said "you're only on book two, you haven't even read the end of it yet, or the last one. Don't judge so quickly"

"I would do anything to have you with me in one piece dork, and she is wasting love like that… it makes me angry" her eyes darkened with sadness "but if you ever say this to anyone I'll deny it! And kick your pretty nerdy butt" and just like that she was back to her old self.

"I wish I could go back to you Sam, I really do but I don't know how to…" he choked "I'm lost"

Freddie put his hand over Sam's shoulder, making her feel that familiar feeling again. Sam gasped and dropped the book on the floor. It was so strong, the sensation, those jolts of electricity running through her body. After the initial shock, she put her hand over her shoulder, feeling an explosion of some kind. Sam jumped off her chair with shock, it was almost like she could touch him again or be touched by him.

"Sam?" he said hopefully.

Since the night with Will, Freddie hasn't tried to touch her again; he was a bit frightened, to be honest, that she wouldn't feel him again.

"What the hell?" she stuttered "what the hell just happened?"

"Sam?" he called again and she looked straight to him, in the eyes, as if she could see him "can you see me Sam?"

Sam choked, her breath got caught inside her throat. She had the weird feeling like she saw him right there, standing in front of her again, but it was just a moment, because she went back to reality when Marissa opened the door. Marissa noticed Sam's startled expression, the book on the floor and felt a cold chill in her spine.

"Samantha? Are you okay?" she asked, stepping forward to put a hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam jumped after the contact, making Marissa retrieve her hand "I'm fine… I'm okay" she said it to Marissa, but in reality she was saying to herself "I'm okay"

"Oh… alright" Marissa cleaned her throat "listen, your shift is over. Go home, I need some time alone with Freddie"

After the previous commotion, Freddie was so confused and worried about Sam. Could she hear him? Did she see him? As much as he wanted to follow her and try to get her to see him again, something in his mother's eyes made him stay. The way she said she needed some time alone with him, made Freddie shudder. He didn't spend much time around his mom, but he knew she was upset, sad, scared and angry with the circumstances, but something was different about her today and Freddie needed to know what it was.

Sam nodded and gathered her things before leaving the room. She was so disturbed and confused, but Freddie could deal with her later. Marissa on the other hand… that needed to be done right now. His mother took the spot where Sam once was, and reached out for his hand. One solitary tear rolled down her cheek. Freddie positioned himself next to her, kneeling on the floor.

"Mom… I'm sorry I didn't… I'm just sorry" he started.

Marissa stroked the palm of his hand and kissed it softly. She seemed so sad… so weird.

"Oh baby… I don't know what to do" she started, chocking "Dr. Brown tells me that… that…" Marissa's sobs wouldn't allow her to finish her sentence.

"What mom? What did he tell you?" Freddie put his hand on her knee but she couldn't feel him like Sam.

"I know that you once told me you wouldn't want to live under these circumstances…" she started.

Freddie felt a pang of desperation on his chest. He remembered telling her that, but he never thought he would be in this situation. Now that he thought about it, he was scared to death, what if she decided to turn off the machines? He wasn't ready to go just yet.

"No mom… mom…"

"I kept you here because I can't let you go baby… I always overlooked what you wanted, but this time…"

"No mom, please, I'm still here! Don't give up on me yet, please!" he hollered desperately.

"I don't know what to do Freddie. I keep thinking you're suffering and I'm just keeping you here out of desperation. I'm being selfish, I should consider what you wanted but I didn't because I love you so much baby" his mother keep sobbing, chocking on her words.

"Please mother…" Freddie shifted so he was in front of her "please don't! I'm here! Can't you see me? I'm right here!"

He hollered his lungs out, in hope she would listen to him, but it was all in vain. Freddie began to feel the same way he felt when he first found out he was in a coma. He began to hyperventilate. She was going to let him go, she was going to give up on him. Freddie never thought that his mother would do that, she of all people was going to give up on him.

"Mother please…" he pleaded, tears of desperation rolling down his face.

"I'm so sorry Fredbear…. I'm don't know what to do, I don't want to let you go baby, but I don't know what I should do, I don't know what's best for you"

"Don't give up on me please, I know what I said, but I'm not suffering" he hollered "mom… give me a little more time, Sam's starting to see me, I know something is going to happen soon. If you give a little more time… I know I'll find my way back" he begged "please don't give up on me"

Freddie had a flashback. It threw him right back at the day he woke up. Marissa was sitting on his bed, having the same conversation with him. She sounded lost and didn't know what to do. Freddie couldn't see her but he could hear her, she was telling him she was thinking about letting him go. After that Freddie fell on despair, fighting to stay alive, to do something, to make her see he was there and he didn't want to go anywhere. And he woke up on a foreigner room, without a clue what happened. He woke up because he was fighting to stay alive.

Marissa wiped the tears off her face and bent to kiss Freddie's hand. Freddie kept crying out desperate words that she couldn't hear. She was going to give up, he was going to die. Marissa left the room, trying to compose herself and get back to work. Freddie was left alone in the cold room.

"I'm going to die" he stated.


	6. You Found Me

_Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me_

_Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded_

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Just a little late you found me, you found me_

_(The Fray – You Found Me)_

* * *

><p>Freddie spent the night sitting on the floor of the hospital. He was going to die soon, because his mother was going to give up on him. He never thought she would let him go like that, but then again, he was the one who told her to do it. He always thought about it, if he happened to go through this kind of situation, he wanted to just go, but things have changed. Sam changed everything, and Freddie didn't want to leave her, he wasn't ready to leave her yet.<p>

"What can I do?" he questioned.

If only Sam could see him. Why couldn't she see him? Freddie kept hoping she would eventually, but maybe it wasn't meant to be, maybe his time here was over. Funny how things happen, he had his whole life figured out since he was five. Be a good student, go to MIT, get a good job and get married. Have kids, buy a house, and get a dog. Sure things changed when he started to like Sam. Freddie started to dream about how life would be when they got married, how many kids she would want to have, what she would want to do for living, and if she decided she didn't want to work he would gladly support her and the kids. Freddie wanted three kids, a dog and a big house, with three floors, an expansive garden and a pool.

But of course all of his dreams were over, he wasn't going to have the chance to accomplish anything anymore. He was doomed. The boy sat on the floor the whole night, wondering how much time he had left. Freddie wanted to do things he never did, so he could die feeling a bit satisfied with the life he had, but you can't go bungee jumping when you're a ghost.

"It's over… I'm sorry Sam, I promised you I would find my way back, but I don't have time"

Freddie wished he could find his way back to Sam, he hated she was suffering and he hated not being able to keep his promise. But that was out of his reach, it wasn't his choice, it didn't depend on him. Sometime during the night he was taken over by a hopeful feeling in the pit of his stomach. Maybe his mother could change her mind and give him some more time and he would find his way back somehow, but as the night passed by, that feeling started to disappear. It was over for him.

Game over.

Marissa Benson spent the night awake, trying to figure out what to do. Her eyes were red because of the lack of sleep and not even the coffee could make her concentrate. She usually didn't drink coffee anyway. When she made the decision of turning off the machines, a great fear took over her. Was she doing the right thing? What if Freddie could wake up? She would never know because she had given up on the son she promised to protect.

But what if, wherever he was, Freddie was suffering, waiting to go to rest while she was keeping him here out of pure selfishness? She always wanted what was the best for her baby boy, doesn't matter what she was feeling, because in the end this was about Freddie. It always had been. She chewed her crackers and took the last sip of coffee, today was going to be a difficult day, she had to tell Sam what she was considering.

Of all people, Sam would be the worst one to tell the news, and Marissa knew that. She loved Freddie so much… she would make a good wife for her son. Always a delinquent, but so dedicated, so hopeful, so lovingly. Sam made a big effort to hide her soft side, but it was almost impossible around Freddie, the way she cared for him showed how much she loved him and Marissa appreciated that. This was going to be as hard as turning off those machines.

Marissa went to Sam's house that Saturday morning. Sam would always wake up early to go to the hospital, so she had to get there before the delinquent could leave. She arrived at Sam's house just in time to catch her closing the front door. Sam is not a punctual person, never been, but when it comes to her dork, every minute wasted is precious. Of course seeing Marissa in her doorstep surprised Sam, but she didn't think too much into it.

"Hey Samantha" Marissa tried to keep it formal and calm.

"Hey Crazy. Watcha doing here?" Sam locked the door, because her mother is not at home, as usual, and she can't afford to get robbed.

"I'm here because I need to talk to you"

"I'm on my way to the hospital" Sam said pointing at her uniform "you can give me a ride and we talk on the way there"

She tried to walk pass Marissa and head for the car, but Freddie's mother grabbed her arm, not tightly, but with enough pressure to stop her from moving.

"No Sam, we need to talk inside" Marissa never called Sam, Sam and that worries her.

"Listen Crazy, I thought we agreed on this, I'm not going to leave Freddie's side so you might as well get used to it"

"This is not why I'm here for" Marissa sighed "listen, can I come in? What I have to tell you have to be said inside the house"

Sam is very curious, so she motioned for Marissa to let go of her arm and follow her. She opened the door and led her to the living room, not even bothering to offer Marissa a drink, it's not like she was her guest. _Maybe I should though, she's going to be my mother in law someday_... Sam stopped her tracks… _Mother in law? Where the heck did that came from?_ She isn't sure, but also doesn't have time to think about it, because Marissa seemed to be very determinate to tell her something. "Sit" Marissa said, even though that's not her house.

"Okay… you're kinda scaring me Crazy, just cut to the chase" Sam sat quietly on the couch waiting for Marissa to spill it out.

"Sam…" Marissa took a deep breath, now the hard part begins "I spoke with Freddie's doctor about two months ago, and yesterday he came to me again"

"Oh…" Sam wasn't sure what any of this meant "so… he came to you? Like he came on to you?"

"No Samantha" Marissa ignored Sam's attempt of making a joke because this is way too serious "he came to Freddie's room to talk to me, and I think you should know what we talked about"

A hint of hope stirred inside of Sam. _This has to mean he's improving somehow_. She could almost feel the joy rising in the pit of her heart, _it must be good news_. Marissa noticed Sam's lips curving slightly upwards, as if she was about to smile, and she felt her chest ache. What she came here to tell this girl will destroy her.

"Sam… he told me Freddie hasn't made any improvement. He… thinks there's a possibility Freddie will never wake up" she blurts out because it's less painful this way. Like ripping off a band aid, it doesn't give Sam enough time to be hopeful.

Her throat feels incredibly dry. None of Marissa's following words made sense to her because they come out as mumbles, and Sam can't hear them. Medical words, medical facts, medical opinions… nothing of this makes sense to Sam, she doesn't understand them. She's not a doctor and has no clue what Marissa is saying, but she knows they're wrong. Her wide eyes are searching for something, she's not sure of what, but they keep traveling from side to side. She blinks a couple of times, maybe if she does it will all disappear, or she would wake up from a nightmare.

"No…" she whispered, but Marissa continues to talk words Sam can't understand "no…"

"So, it all comes to this. They believe Freddie has little or no chance of waking up… and well, my son, as you might know, didn't support this kind of living…"

Sam's chest started to ache. _What is she talking about? Where is she getting at?_

"Freddie never wanted to live like this. I kept him this whole time because I was hopeful, but I know my Freddie wouldn't want that…"

"What are you saying?" Sam screamed "huh? What are you trying to say woman? Say it already!" she never, ever was a patient person.

"I'm turning off the machines, Sam"

Suddenly she was glad for being comfortably sitting in the couch, because her knees were weak, and if she was standing they would bend and she would fall. Those words… not those words. Sam never thought they would come from Marissa's mouth, that reassured her everyday she had time, that Freddie had time because there was no way Crazy was going to give up on him. But now she is saying this? It didn't make any sense. When Sam was able to find her voice, she screamed on the top of her lungs.

"NO! You can't do this! This is not right! He'll wake up! You'll see! He'll wake up!" she didn't care if she sounded crazy, and she couldn't care less if she looked crazy.

So, she got up and grabbed Marissa by the shoulders, shaking the woman, hoping this would also shake the idea out of her head.

"NO! NO! NO! You can't give up on him! You're his mother; you can't do this to him! You gotta give him more time!"

Marissa tried her best to push Sam off her. The girl had to understand this wasn't easy for Marissa too, that it was her son lying in that bed and she only wanted what was best for him. For once, she was trying to do what Freddie wanted, which was very ironic, since this was the first time he needed her to deny him something. Sam broke down in tears, while she screamed at Marissa. If someone saw the scene they might think Sam was going insane, and she was a little. The thought of Freddie never coming back drove her to insanity. Her mind wouldn't accept it, one day they were so close of being together again, and now this… he would never be hers again.

She had to know that night in the elevator that breaking up was the wrong decision to make. She was going to lose him for good, she had to know. And now, looking back, it was partially her fault he was never coming back. Maybe, if she told him what was really on her mind, they would never break up, Will would never come to her house, Brad would never made the phone call, Freddie would never get into that car.

"Sam, listen to me" Marissa changed positions, grabbing Sam's arms and shaking her "I know this is hard and I know it hurts, but this is what Freddie wanted and we have to consider it. This is his life"

"No! This is his death! You're killing him; you're not giving him the time he needs! I know he'll wake up! You're just tired of this situation and want to get rid of him so you can move on with your life!"

_Slap! _Marissa couldn't help it. As soon those words came out of Sam's lips, she smacked her palm against the teenager's face. She retrieved her hand, covering her mouth with a gasp. Sam's face was hidden behind her blond locks, hiding in shock. She never meant to hurt the girl, but her words were too mean. How could she say something like that? Freddie was Marissa's life, without him she had nothing, so how dare this girl even think this?

"I'm… I'm sorry I…"

"Go away"

Without another word, she left closing the door quietly behind her. She was right in the first place,_ this was as hard as turning off those machines. _

Sam sat quietly on the floor for about twenty minutes after Marissa left. She was a bit catatonic, out of sorts; she wasn't prepared for this kind of situation. Her mind went back to the day of Freddie's accident. At first she went nuts, lost her shit completely in the hospital, then she cried for weeks. After a month or so, Sam started to put her shit together because she finally understood Freddie needed her to stay sane in order to take care of him. So she did, for him.

Freddie was always doing stuff for her, even before they started to date. He would always buy her food, of course at the beginning she had to steal from him, then threat him, but eventually he just did it, without being harassed. When they became a couple, after the initial week having Carly as they problem solver, Freddie would always let her win their fights even when she was wrong. He even forgave her for ruining his chances to go to N.E.R.D. camp. Sam remembered the time her mother was in Vegas and she was sick as a street dog. Freddie came over with a bag of medicine and food, he spent the whole weekend taking care of her while she yelled at him. She never really said thank you, not even when he went out of his way to do something she wanted, not even when he smuggled two hams inside his pants into jail. Not ever.

She collected herself off the floor. It wasn't time to have another breakdown, it was time to do something for Freddie. She owed him that, and of course her reasons weren't all unselfish, she needed him in her life and she wasn't willing to let him go just yet. Sam grabbed her bag and ran to the bus stop. It was time to stop Marissa, but she couldn't do it alone, she needed help.

Carly and Brad were watching a movie curled up in the couch and Spencer was finishing some sculpture in the kitchen when she burst inside the apartment. They all looked at her startled, her hair was a mess, her face was red and her eyes were swollen from crying. Not mentioning her expression that was of pure despair. Carly jumped off the couch and out of Brad's arms, running towards Sam. Brad followed her suit and Spencer came right after.

"Sam? What's wrong? Please tell me!" Carly cried out, grabbing onto Sam's shoulders.

"Marissa… Marissa, Carly" she stuttered.

"What's wrong with her?" Brad asked with a calm tone "did something happen to her?"

"No! But she is going to do something!" she hollered "she is going to turn off Freddie's machines!" there was no time to stall, she needed to make everybody understand the situation fast enough.

"What?" were Spencer's first words.

"That's right. She says Freddie is against this kind of life and she thinks the best for him is… to just go"

Sam sat down and explained the situation to them. The whole time the trio remained silent hearing the details of Sam's conversation with Marissa. Finally, Sam begged them to help her convince Marissa to give up on this stupid idea.

"So, we have to talk to her, like right now. She needs to understand that Freddie will wake up someday and she has to give him more time" she cried out.

"Of course!" Brad hollered "she can't do this to him! I know that maybe this was his choice, but by doing this she'll never know if he would wake up or not"

Sam smiled, deep inside she knew she could count on Brad. She knew he loved Freddie as well, and if there was someone willing to fight for him besides her, that person was Brad.

"Sam…" Carly started with a sigh "maybe… don't you think that maybe it's better this way?"

Both Brad and Sam jump to their feet and stared at Carly in disbelief. Once, Sam and Carly swore to be there of each other through whatever, and when she needed her the most, Carly was telling her to let go? She couldn't believe this.

"I know you love him and that you would be fine with this kind of arrangement. I know you would live at that hospital if you could, taking care of him until god knows when. But think about Freddie, maybe he is in pain, maybe he is suffering, maybe he wants to let go but you're keeping him here"

"SHUT UP!" Sam screamed "shut up! You don't know what you're saying!" Sam covered her ears with her hands not wanting to hear anything else.

"Carly!" Brad said "how can you say that?"

"Brad, think about it. You and Sam want to keep Freddie here for selfish reasons, you're not thinking about him, he wasn't cool with this kind of life before, why would he be now? I know it's hard, it is for me too, I love him and so does Marissa, but the difference is we are willing to sacrifice what we're feeling in order to do what's best for him!"

"Shut up, Shay! Shut up!" Sam shoved Carly, who landed with her ass on the couch "you couldn't possibly understand what I feel for him; you couldn't possibly understand what this is like for me. You couldn't possibly understand what's like to lose the thing you love the most because you have EVERYTHING. You always had. Things fall on your lap without you even try! You don't have to work hard to get what you want because the world gives it to you for free. My life is not like this. He is the only good thing I have to call mine. He was the person who loved me no matter what. Those two little fights between you and me were worst than any fight I ever had with him, because no matter what I did he was able to look pass that. Do you know how long I waited for him to notice me? For him to feel the way I do? For him to love me back, and want me like I want him? And when he finally did, it was better than I could've ever imagined, and I'm sorry if I'm not selfless like you to let go of that! I'm sorry that I'm not sorry, not at all! I'm not letting go of this, I'm not letting go of him! You don't want to help me? Fine, don't! But don't you dare say that this is for the best, because it isn't! It's not for the best that I'll never get to see him again, it's not the best for me, and if that makes me selfish, fine! But I know in my heart, I can feel actually in my gut that he is going to wake up and while I still feel this way, I will not let go"

Sam pushed Brad out of the way and slammed the door of the apartment shut. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Brad was the next to speak. Although he was as upset as Sam, he tried to keep his voice calm, not needing to make some noise to get his point across.

"I was wrong" he started softly "I thought a lot of things about you Carly, but I never pegged you for a quitter. I thought you were strong, but you're a coward who only wants this to be over with so your life can go back on track. You don't have the strength to fight, you just want to let go and carry on. Thank god I'm not like this, not like you"

Carly shoot he a hurtful look, her eyes filled with tears. First Sam, now Brad?

"I'm sorry I was too blind to see it" without any further words, Brad left the apartment, rushing to get to Sam in time to help her in the best way he could.

Carly covered her eyes with her hand and let the tears out. She wasn't a coward, she just wanted to do what was best for Freddie, but did she even know what was best for him? Spencer, who didn't say a word during the whole show, sat beside her and put his arm around his little sister. He didn't know what to make of all of this, he didn't want to tell Carly he thought she was wrong because it was already bad enough what Sam and Brad said, so he didn't say anything. Carly leaned against her brother and began to sob. To be fair, she did want this whole thing to be over with, and she would be lying if she denied that more than anything she wanted Sam back, not Nurse Sam, broken Sam, but the real Sam. But did she want it enough to pay the price? To give up on Freddie? To watch him die? No. Now she was feeling like a horrible and selfish person for even thinking about it.

Freddie stayed in his hospital bedroom waiting for his death sentence. He didn't feel like going to see Sam because that would only made things worse for him, seeing her for the last time… no, it's just going to hurt more, he told himself. So he stayed there, looking at his lifeless looking body, that was about to be lifeless for real in a couple of… he didn't even know when his mother would kill him, it might be in two minutes, hours our months, but he was already expecting to go immediately, he couldn't consider any other options, his mind was too tired.

Brad rushed with Sam to get to the hospital in time. Marissa was out of her shift talking to the doctors responsible for Freddie, and Brad volunteered to go find her while Sam camped inside Freddie's room. She came determinate to not let anyone touch him, in order to do so, they had to pass her, and she wasn't going to go down without a fight. While she made her way to his room, practically running, Sam thought about the night of the accident, and how things could've happened if it wasn't for that drunk driver.

Probably, she was going to give him a hard time, because she was Sam. Maybe eventually he would lose his cool, and that was what she was going for. She wanted to know if he thought she was worth the trouble, because she sure knew he was. Then if he insisted in getting back together even so, she would throw herself at him and they would probably end up having some sloppy, desperate and sappy sex. He would stay over and repeat how much he loved her during the night. She would sleep peacefully, knowing he was there.

Brad ran and burst into the doctor's office. Marissa was on her way out, accompanied with Freddie's doctor's and his team, probably ready to slaughter her son. He was surprised she didn't even call anyone to say their final goodbyes, and when he questioned her about it, after she recovered from the shock of seeing him practically kicking the doctor's office door, she said she wasn't going to turn off the machines just yet.

"We need to make some final checkups, then… I wasn't going to just do it without letting anyone know Bradley" she stated "but I'm doing it today. I called my family, they accepted because there is nothing we can do. I was planning on calling his friends right after the exam, let them know and be here if they wanted to"

Brad tried to argue with her, but he knew coming from him the words were in vain. He just hoped Sam would do a better job. He was counting on her, but if he had to, he would stand in front of Freddie's bed and keep those damn doctor's away. He would punch Marissa if he had to, but for the moment the only thing he could do was follow her.

Freddie leaned against the wall and stood up. He was tired of being in that room without even knowing what was going on, but all the same he didn't want to leave the room and meet with disappointment. He didn't want to see Sam's face when they turned off the machines. That would be the worst way to go, seeing the pain in her eyes was too much for him.

"I… don't even know what to say" he said to his own body, it wasn't like he had someone to talk to "my mother is going to be here in a minute to finish me off. I never thought I would say that"

He stood by his body, just looking at it. He noticed his scar once again, it was a light shade of pink, but very obvious. Freddie wondered if there was anything the doctor's could do to get rid of it, or if it could just heal with the time. Then, le laughed at his own expense because he was never going to be able to figure it out. There were so many things he still wanted to do and wasn't going to be able to. It was just sick, and sad.

Sam ignored Laney's cries, when she burst into Freddie's room. She was all pumped up in adrenaline, that when she noticed the guy close to his bed, looking at him, she snapped. That damn doctor better take those dirty hands off him, or else she was going to cut them off.

"Hey you! Get the hell out of here, get away from him!" she pratically barked.

The guy jumped, looking at her with wide eyes. Then she saw that wasn't just any guy… she knew that guy, she knew him better than anyone on earth. The guy standing by Freddie's bed was… Freddie.

"Freddie?" she stuttered.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys, I'm going to be brief. I'm sick as f*ck! A flu or something but I feel like chicken shit! Anyway, there goes one more chapter, I want to thank you guys for the reviews and I'm sorry this is taking so long between updates, but tests started again and I was working on this project, modifying a Mies Van Der Rohe 1929 project. It was exciting! Anyway, I gotta go, I also wanna say how I'm so excited because my PIC BUDDY updated today! YAYAYAY!<strong>


	7. Wonderwall

_There are many things that I would like to say to you_

_But I don't know how, because maybe_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_And after all, you're my wonderwall_

_(Oasis – Wonderwall)_

* * *

><p>She couldn't understand what she was feeling, or what she was seeing. There was no way Freddie would be standing by the bed, unharmed and awake, and be unconscious lying on the bed at the same time. Maybe she was definitely crazy now. Yeah, she was officially crazy. Freddie saw her too, he seemed startled, beyond surprised, but not more than Sam, he couldn't be more surprised than she was. No one could. She was seeing him, he was there, looking at her, but how? How was that possible?<p>

Was he dead already? Is this his ghost? She looked over the machines and saw they were still working. So how can he be… there? Sam rubbed her eyes waiting for him to disappear, waiting for everything to make sense to her, but when she opened her eyes again, he was still there, petrified. Maybe she was having an illusion. She wanted to see him so bad, maybe her mind worked on a cruel trick to ease the pain. Yeah, that was it, it was all fruit of her imagination.

Freddie saw Sam seeing him. He couldn't believe she was looking at him, finally seeing him. He was very scared and surprised, so he couldn't move. He watched her rub her eyes, blink a few dozens of times, and shake her head, to make sure she wasn't seeing a mirage or something. Only now, after several seconds, it occurred to him; Sam was seeing him. He moved, took a step forward, waiting for her to move, talk, do anything really, but she didn't. She was paralyzed, her feet glued on the floor, arms resting on her sides, eyes wide open.

"Sam?" he wanted to know if she could hear him "can you see me?"

She nodded.

"Oh my god!" he stepped forward quickly, stopping a few inches away from her "I waited so long for you to see me"

"You're not real" she stated.

So she indeed thought she was seeing a mirage or a trick of her mind. He sighed, but besides that he was happy. She was seeing him. She was his last hope. His only hope.

"No, Sam, I'm real. I really am"

"No you're not!" she screamed "I'm insane!"

"No!" he raised his hands to touch her, but then he remembered he couldn't, or he didn't know if he could "you're not! I've been following you around for two months, I've been awake, but I couldn't get you to see me!"

"W-What?" she stuttered.

"Yes!" he smiled "please, get inside, close the door so I can tell you exactly what happened"

Something stirred inside of her. When she saw that smile, she knew, that even if this was only her imagination, she couldn't give up on that, she needed to be sure he was going to keep smiling at her every day, she couldn't let anyone take that away from her.

"There's no time. Your mother is on her way to kill you!" she said without thinking.

"I know" he said sadly "I was here the other day, when she told you to leave. Usually I just leave with you, but there was something different about her, so I stayed. That was when she told me what she was thinking about"

"You follow me?"

"Everywhere. I was there when Will asked you out. I was screaming for you to reject his offer. I guess you kinda heard me in the end"

Sam remembered that night. She remembered feeling that tingling sensation on her shoulder and how it made her remember how Freddie's hands used to touch her. So he was there, so maybe she wasn't crazy. Maybe he was really here.

"You're with me all the time?" she choked out.

"Yes. Every day, every night, just not when you're getting dressed or taking a shower. And I don't look by the way, never, not even a peek"

If she wasn't so confused and surprised she would've laughed at it. But she was beyond confused; all of this seemed so surreal, she didn't know what to think. But she had to focus on reality, on what was going on right now. What was really important.

"We have to do something. Your mom… she…"

"I know, I know… I can't really do shit Sam, there's nothing I can say. She won't hear me"

"I can't believe you're here… I can't believe it…" she raised her hand to touch him, but never did. She didn't know if she could do it "you're here"

"I am"

She finally cried. Tears came pouring down her cheeks, but they weren't sad tears, they were very happy, very confused tears of joy. She was seeing him, even if he wasn't exactly awake and standing, he was there, and it was enough for now. Sam wanted to hug him, wrap her arms around him and sob against his neck, while he would nestle her against his chest. It always made her feel better, when he had his arms wrapped around her. It was like she was safe and the world couldn't harm her.

"Sam…" he didn't know what to say, so he put his hand carefully on her shoulder and she jumped at the touch "can you feel it?"

"A little" she wiped the tears off her cheek "a little bit. It's like a tingly sensation, very lightly though"

"That's good enough" he smiled again.

"Do you think I can… touch you?" she wiped her nose with the sleeves of her sweater and he chuckled.

"I think you can try" he gazed out the door "but first, close the door and step in or people are going to think you're insane"

She laughed and did as he told, without complaining. This was feeling more and more real to her. Freddie was there and he was being his old self. Sam was ecstatic, she wasn't sure of what was going on really, but being able to hear his voice after so long was priceless. She stepped forward into his personal space, but she wasn't sure of her next move. She wasn't sure of how this was supposed to work.

"You can… you know… try to reach out for me, and touch my face if you want" he started "I don't know if it will work because I never been in this situation before, but I can't really touch anything, except you"

She nodded, understanding this would be as weird for him as it was for her, but she wanted to try. Sam raised her hand towards his cheek and slowly pressed her fingertips against his skin. It was like touching something really fragile and thin. She felt that strong tingling sensation back on the tips of her fingers, very slightly. Sam could touch him, but she couldn't make a lot of pressure, because he felt so fragile she was afraid he would disappear. She couldn't explain why, but it was like touching air, if you were able to, it wasn't anything like touching his unconscious body lying on the bed. It didn't felt real, but it was at the same time and she couldn't explain the feeling.

Freddie closed his eyes. He felt her, touching him, like she was distant or something. It felt like she was touching him, but wasn't at the same time. He felt so happy, like he hadn't in a long time. That felt so right, so complete, like he was finally beginning to find his way back to life. He hadn't felt so alive in such a long time. The feel of her hand on him was more emotional than physical, and it meant so much to be able to share this with her again. He wanted to jump from the joy he was feeling, but the sound of the doorknob brought him back to reality.

Sam jumped backwards, startled. This had been really exciting and surprising but it was time to return to reality, where Marissa Benson was trying to take her last chance to get Freddie back. Out of instinct, Sam stepped in front of Freddie's bed protectively, he moved also to stand by her side. Freddie wanted to hold her hand, he wanted to intertwine their fingers so she would know she's not alone, that they're together in this, but he didn't know if he could.

Marissa opened the door, the doctors following her, Brad right behind them. Sam scowled, her fists clenched, she assumed her battle posture, waiting for everything. If it was necessary, she would throw some punches at those doctors, and God forbidden, but if Marissa tried to get in her way, she would gladly punch her too.

"Samantha…" Marissa started.

"No. You're not touching him, I won't let you. If I have to I will kick and punch and throw you all out the window!"

"Should we call security?" Dr. Brown asked Marissa.

"No. I can deal with her"

Suddenly, Brad was pushed aside, making room for Spencer and Carly to walk in. Sam's eyes went wide, her mouth hanging open. What was Carly doing here? She didn't have any time to think, her friend stepped beside her, linking hands with her where Freddie was supposed to be, he had to move out of the way. Spencer did the same thing, Gibby and Wendy arrived a little after, joining them as well. Then Brad moved, holding on to Wendy's hand. Freddie smiled; his friends looked like a human chain, protecting him.

"I know you think this is for the best" Carly started "I did too, but we were wrong Marissa. We should never give up on the ones we love while we still have a chance to get them back. I didn't believe that because it was too hard. Too hard to hope, too hard to hold on to, because I was afraid, that if I jumped in, all in, and he never came back the pain would be ten times worst. But you know what I learned?"

Everybody in the room, including Freddie kept their eyes intently on Carly, waiting for her words.

"That it will hurt anyway, and maybe one day, eventually, it will stop, but I will live forever wondering if I could've done something, if there was anything I could've done to bring him back. These questions will be forever in my mind, I will keep wondering what would happen if I gave him more time. I know that right now, this seems to be the best decision, but I also know you'll forever wonder what could've happened. I know it's been a long time, I know it's hard, but until this morning I didn't realize something" she shifted her gaze to Sam "it's impossible to let go when you love someone, I know he would never give up on us. And it might be selfish of us, to keep him here, but I have to believe that wherever he is, Freddie wouldn't want us to give up on him"

Freddie's eyes were filled with tears. He haven't cried since he woke up, he didn't think he was able to, but hearing this words, and seeing his friends protecting him that way, that did something to him. Sam smiled at him, mouthing that everything was going to be okay, then she looked over to Carly, with thankful eyes. Carly understood how important her actions were not only to Freddie, but to Sam, who needed her now more than ever.

"Sometimes, when I'm angry or when something doesn't come out exactly how I want, I think…" Sam started "_what would Freddie do?_ The dork always makes the best decisions. No matter what the problem is, he always has a solution. For some time now, I've been trying to think like him, instead of punching someone in the gut to solve my problems, I think _what would Freddie do_ because he always knows best. I'm not trying to become him, or a messed up version of him, but sometimes I remember how important it is to make the right decisions. That's one of the reasons why I would never give up on him, because I know he would never give up on me, that's what Freddie would do. He once told me…" she was looking at him from the corners of her eyes.

"That even if we didn't have forever together, wherever he was, he was going to be thinking of me, like I know he is right now, that I would never going to be alone. I feel him everywhere, I feel like he's thinking of me now, he's not going to leave me alone because he promised me. He promised me we were going to be together soon, and I believe him, because he never, ever broke a promise. I know he's trying to come back, but you gotta give him a chance Marissa."

"I love him. I'm not afraid or ashamed to admit that, and even though it's really sappy talk, I can say aloud now because I understand how much it means to him" she let go of Carly's hand, who immediately reached for Spencer's, and walked forward towards Marissa "I know he's going to be okay. I know he's trying to come back. I can't explain to you how I know it, I can't even explain it to myself, but I know. I'm sure. I never asked you for anything, so I'm going to ask you now and even if is too much to ask, I'm doing it anyway. Trust me Marissa, just this once, trust me. I know he'll come back, but I need you to trust me in this. I can't do this alone, Freddie can't. He needs you. He needs us"

Marissa Benson burst into tears. Sam moved closer, putting a hand in her shoulder, but Marissa had other plans, she grabbed Sam's shirt and yanked her forward, wrapping her arms around Sam's waist and sobbing on her neck. In normal circumstances, Sam would pull away or something, but she didn't, not this time. And then again, in normal circumstances, Marissa would never hug Sam. She allowed Freddie's mother soak her shirt with tears, because she knew she needed it. Sam bit her lip hard trying not to cry, but it was too late because a single tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek.

Freddie watched that scene like he is in twilight zone. Sam and his mother hugging? Okay… that was weird, but then again, everything was weird lately. He looked over to his friends. Wendy and Carly were crying their eyes out, Gibby was trying his best not to sob. Spencer was a goner, hiding his head on Carly's shoulder, and Brad, who was just smiling. Brad looked over to his side, where Freddie was standing, and for a moment he thought he saw something. His eyes went wide, threatening to jump out of its sockets.

"Brad?" Freddie called, in hope he could hear him.

Brad's eyes captured something very quickly, like light, a bright light that warmed up the whole room, but he didn't saw Freddie and a moment later the light was gone. Brad shook his head, confused, looking forward, then back at that spot, this time he saw nothing.

Freddie knew in that moment, Brad couldn't see him, but maybe he could somehow,_ feel_ him? For a brief second at least. Freddie moved closer to him and rested his hand over his shoulder, making Brad smile again.

Marissa pulled back, wiping her tears away and sniffing uncontrollably. Laney, who was standing behind her, offered her something to clean her nose with. Sam also pulled back, but before she did, she got rid of that solitary tear rolling down her cheek. The only person who saw it was Laney, who winked at her, as a way to say that would be their little secret.

"I'm feeling so lost" Marissa admitted "Freddie is the only thing I have to live for, and without him I'm a mess. I don't know what to do"

"You're not the only. I've know the nub for so long, it's hard to imagine life without that techy geek now" Sam tried her best to hide her shaken voice "who's going to do my math homework for me?" she joked, and managed to get everyone, including the doctors, to laugh.

"I just wish I knew what was best for him"

"There's no way to know that for sure" Brad said "but Freddie's strong Marissa, and even though it seems like everything is horrible now, we have to hope it will all work out for the best soon"

"He's the smartest person that I know" Wendy started "he might be lost in this big brain of his, but if there's someone who knows how to use his brains, that person is Freddie"

"We just have to believe that will happen" said Gibby "I pray every night, and well, my grandma says the lord always listens, even though he lives too far above to hear what I'm saying. I honestly don't know how that's possible, but hey, my grandma is older than me, she knows more about this stuff than I do"

Everyone in the room laughed. Freddie rolled his eyes and looked at Sam, who was shaking her head at Gibby's words, both smiling. Spencer moved forward, putting his hand on Marissa's shoulder.

"Listen, Freddie is a very tough kid. No other boy was able to survive Sam's temper tantrums for so long and still call her friend. No other boy was able to listen Carly talking about makeup and lip gloss for so long without trying to rip his ears off" Carly looked at him offended, but laughed anyway "no other boy was able to take so many punches and still fall in love with the girl who was punching him. And no other boy was able to be so patient while his mother tried to give him tick baths everyday and stuff him with vegan food he didn't even like. Freddie does a lot of things no other boys would, so I conclude he'll tap this situation and in a few more months, he'll be here with us laughing at my new sculpture, that even though he never knows what it is, he's gentle enough to tell me he gets it. He's unlike any other boy I know, and you're part of the reason he's this way"

She nodded, visibly shaken, but this time Marissa didn't cry, she smiled, at every single person in that room.

"I didn't know my son was so loved. I didn't know it was possible for someone love him as much as I do, but now I see that's possible, it's even possible that someone loves him more than I do" she looked at Sam "and that makes me very happy" she turned to Dr. Brown and the rest of his team "I'll give my son more time. As much as he needs. I don't want to hear a word about turning off these machines, unless he's awake"

Dr. Brown nodded, smiling. Some people of his staff were crying, some were trying to hold back the tears.

"Okay Marissa. I think that if I want to keep my life I have to forget about this matter" he looked at Sam, who scowled and nodded "I think I would like to see my daughter going to college someday"

Marissa moved closer to Sam, and whispered in her ear "you'll be a good wife for him someday. And a good mother" with that she patted her shoulder and backed away. Sam smiled sheepishly, blushing a little.

Everybody laughed. Freddie moved closer to Sam, standing beside her. He wanted to touch her hand, and this time he did it. Sam's eyes went wide for a second, then she looked down at their hands. He was simply grazing her hand with his fingers, and she could feel it, like it was distant, light like the wind, but she knew he was there.

_Like a river to a raindrop I lost a friend_

_My drunken hazard Daniel in a lion's den_

_And tonight I know it all has to begin again_

_So whatever you do, don't let go_

Marissa had to get back to work and everyone decided to go to the Groovy Smoothies to celebrate. But Sam said she was feeling tired and wanted to take a nap. Carly objected, but Brad told her to let it go. Truth was, Sam wanted desperately have some time alone with Freddie. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, and it couldn't wait. They went to her house and as soon as her bedroom door was closed, she rushed towards him, wanting to wrap her arms around his neck, but she didn't.

_If we could float away_

_Fly up to the surface and just start again_

_Lift off before trouble just erodes us in the rain_

_Just erodes us in the rain_

_Just erodes us and see roses in the rain saying_

"I have so many questions" she said.

"I'm here to answer them all" Freddie smiled "but first I want to do something"

"What?" she was a little amused.

"This"

_Slow it down_

_Through chaos as it swirls_

_It's us against the world_

He held his hand up in front of her, and Sam knew what he meant. She did the same, slowly approaching him, their hands inches from each other's. Slowly, their fingertips touched, and then their palms touched. Freddie felt his whole body on fire, like he was truly alive this time. Every touch of her made him feel that way. Sam smiled and closed her eyes to savor the feeling. It was stronger this time, but still so surreal.

The afternoon sun sneaked into her room from where the curtains weren't covering, making her blond locks glow, and Freddie thought that must be how heaven looked like. She looked like an angel. His angel. His savior. His way back to life.

_Through chaos as it swirls_

_It's us against the world_

* * *

><p><strong>Well, hey, it's Ana here, I'm updating today because our friend S. Benson was involved in a minor bus accident, or sort of. Nothing to worry, but she got bruised ribs and a strong headache, and because she's such a b!tch, she begged me to update for her. Well, here we are, one more chapter, hope you enjoy it. You probably won't hear from here next week, because, well, she has tests and she's hurt and stuff, so she won't be writing. Also, she's moving out this week, so it's a busy f*cked up week. She sends her love.<strong>

**Bye y'all! **

**Oh, and she asked me to tell SAM-seddie-FREDDIE she'll answer your PM as soon as possible, she won't let me but whatevs! Kisses :***


	8. My Body Is A Cage

_My body is a cage_

_That keeps me from dancing with the one I love_

_But my mind holds the key_

_You're standing next to me_

_My mind holds the key _

_(The Arcade Fire – My Body Is A Cage)_

* * *

><p>(Please read the author's note in the end)<p>

"You know, I think I'll name my kid Mylo" Sam said, toying with her hair "Mylo Xyloto"

"Sam…" Freddie chuckled "you can name your kid after a Coldplay album"

"Why not? He's my kid, I can name him whatever I want" she shrugged.

"First, because it would be bad for the kid. You want him to go through what I went through with Fredward?"

"Well, it depends. The only person who made fun of your name was me, and I only did it because I was secretly infatuated with you, so if the kid has the lucky to find a girl like me, who will make fun of him because she's infatuated with him, then I think I'll be doing him a favor" she smiled smugly.

"I sometimes wonder how come you were the only one to make fun of my name."

"Because I threatened everyone else"

"What?" he chuckled.

"Yeah, I told everyone you were mine to mess with, and no one else could" she snuggled near to him.

"You…" he smiled "always so possessive of me. Well, I can't blame you, I'm very attractive"

"Shut up Benson!" she laughed "I would punch you now if I could. Back to the point, I really like this name"

"You can't name the kid Mylo Xyloto!"

"Why the hell not? I think we already established the wonderfulness of the situation the kid would be put in!"

"Because it would be weird! Mylo Xyloto Benson? I can deal with Mylo Benson, but that middle name has to go!" he stated "and cut the _y, _Milo with _i _sounds much better"

Sam looked at him, smiling. He was thinking of a future with her, and even though she did the same thing some times, he was the first one to mention it. Sam Puckett never really dreamed of her wedding day like the other girls. She never played housewife with her dolls, because even at the age of seven, she knew from her mother, that marriage was not worth it. So she carried on without being fooled by those romantic fairy tales other girls seemed to like so much. She knew better, and she was proud to know something no other girl did. That knowledge would help her in the future. But Freddie frigging Benson had to happen in her life.

After they started to date, Sam caught herself, more than once, thinking if the name Benson would fit her well. She also slapped herself mentally more than once, when she wondered if a baby with Freddie's eyes would be so bad. Certainly he would be a very smart kid, and with her strong personality, he would unstoppable. At least, he wouldn't be a loser baby, she considered. And now he's expressing his desire of a future with her. They might not know what will happen in a few years, and they might be too young to be thinking about that stuff, but the fact that he wishes to share this with her someday, makes her smile.

"What?" he asked, supporting his chin with hand and his elbow on her pillow "why are you looking at me like this?"

"I just… can't believe you're here" she raised her hand to touch his cheek slightly "I can't get enough of how weirdly good it feels to touch you"

"It's really weird, isn't it?" he said looking at her hand "I didn't know ghosts could be touched"

"It depends, I guess. And besides, you're not a ghost… you're a… a…" she tried to find a word but couldn't.

"A…? I don't even know" he sighed.

"Well, there's a lot of things in this life we don't understand, this is just one of them" she shrugged "but I'm glad I can touch you… or sort of. Sometimes it feels like I'm touching the wind. It's weird, but cozy"

"Thanks" he laughed "I'm happy you can see me"

"I'm happy I can see you"

She smiled, and he smiled back. _Can I kiss him? No… that would be extra weird. But, can I? _Sam bit her lip, wondering. She wanted to ask Freddie if she could try, but she was afraid it would be too weird. Kissing a ghost? It would be just like in _Casper_. But he's not Casper, and this is not a kid's movie. Sam stared at his face intently, he looked just like the day before the accident. As handsome as ever, she was awestruck how puberty was kind to him. Once he was a wimpy, short, chubby little boy, but now he became a handsome, smart, attractive guy who could make her heart melt, when no one else could do that.

"I love you" she said in spite of herself.

Sam blushed. She usually didn't pronounce her love for anyone aloud, but after admitting it, in front of everyone in the hospital room, she didn't think it would be a big deal telling him. But she bit her lip and looked away, ashamed. That was the second time she said directly to him those three words, it was embarrassing.

"I love you too" he smiled.

Freddie had no problem admitting his feelings, he never had, but when it came to Sam Puckett things were much more complicated. When they first started dating, Freddie wasn't sure how to approach her, if he could hold her hand in public or kiss her in school. So he did nothing out of the ordinary, he talked to her, but kept the kisses and the canoodling to when they were alone. Sam started to think he was ashamed of dating her, and not comfortable with be seen in public with her. But then why the hell he kissed her live in the web? She couldn't express her confusion, and telling Carly would be no good, her friend had the best intentions, but she couldn't keep her mouth shut, and eventually she would tell Freddie. Sam didn't want that.

So she talked to the only person who would listen and keep a secret. Spencer. Carly's brother advised her to talk to Freddie about it, be open with her feelings, only this way their relationship could work. She didn't want to, but she had to, and when she told Freddie what was on her mind, he laughed. Sam got so mad, truly mad, she wanted to punch him in the face, but he kept on laughing. When he was done laughing his ass off, she was already beyond pissed, but Freddie explained to her he didn't really know how to act around her. He didn't know if she would be ashamed to be seen in public with him. The couple spent the rest of the day laughing at themselves. After that talk, they had absolutely no problem with P.D.A. what so ever. In fact, they did it so often and so openly that started to annoy other people.

"Wanna know the first thing I'm going to do when I wake up?" he asked.

"What?"

"I'm going to kiss you"

"That's a good first thing to do" she chuckled "and you better be rested, because the moment you're out of the hospital I'm going to jump your bones Benson, and you better be prepared!"

"Alright ma'am" he laughed, but on the inside, he was feeling hot and nervous, the thought of having her again was too exciting "I can't wait for that"

"I never told you how much I enjoyed that night" she confessed "it would be weird to tell you after we broke up, and after that phone call I never got the chance again. So I want you to know now. That was the best night of my life"

Freddie knew Sam wasn't very open with her feelings, and confessing this to him none the less, was something big. As big as that night itself. There were many times, more times he cared to admit, that he caught himself thinking about that night, the way she felt underneath him, around him, all over him. It wasn't just the fact he had sex with the hottest chick he ever saw, no it was more than that. Freddie would sit in his fire escape thinking about that night, and about Sam, and he would regret ten times more breaking up with her. Whatever the hell motivated him to think they shouldn't be together was stupid and it wasn't going to happen again. Ever again.

"It was the best night of my life too. I think about that night all the time. After I woke up the next morning, I felt somewhat empty, because you weren't there anymore, but when I smelled you in my pillow, I knew you would be forever with me, in me. But I felt stupid, and I wanted to call you and tell you I didn't want to break up. I guess I should've done that"

"It doesn't matter anymore. We'll have all the time in the world when you wake up nub. And you can make it up to me for the trouble you got me through. I'm never letting you drive a car again Fredward!" she sounded just like his mother.

"Oh come on Sam! I was driving like a madman because I was desperate. The thought of losing you made me desperate. Besides, it wasn't even my fault"

"Yeah, I guess. But still, no driving for you for a while" she came even closer to him, noses almost touching "if the accident never happened, we would probably have some good sex right here in this bed that night"

"Is that so?" he smirked "I knew you wanted to throw yourself at me the moment I heard your voice on the phone"

"Yeah right, you would beg me to be yours again, and I would do it out of pity" she laughed.

"Please. I know it wasn't any sacrifice for you" he smiled suggestively "I remember the Freddie, oh god! Oh God Freddie… Freddie please, Freddie… Freddie, Freddie! It was awesome!"

"Yeah, because you weren't the one who had to feel the pain" she tried to be serious, but ended up laughing "you ripped through my insides Benson"

"Sorry about that. I wish you didn't have to feel any pain, I never wanted to hurt you" he looked down, sadly.

"Hey, look at me" she searched for his gaze "it sure paid off, and besides, I gave you something no one else will ever have, because I wanted it to be yours, and yours only"

He lifted his head to look at her and smiled.

"And because I was super horny" she said, and he laughed "who knew Freddie Benson, the techy geek, would be so good at this kind of things?"

"Thanks Puckett. You're pretty good too…" he looked her up and down "so very good"

Sam could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. It wasn't right to get horny when she couldn't even touch him. It was wrong and weird, but his voice was enough to make her burn up from inside out. She wanted to feel him again, all of him with no barriers, nothing between them.

"I think about that a lot, and how good it felt. But it wasn't enough, so I decided to go on the pill, because when you woke up I didn't want anything between us"

The thought of being inside of her without a thing between them was way too alluring for Freddie. He blushed so hard, his cheeks were a dark shade of crimson and his eyes darkened. Sam missed him just as much as he missed her, or maybe more, because while he was unconscious lying on the bed, she was very awake having to dream of him every night and not being able to touch him.

"So I guess now I have to change my plans" he said, and she gave him a confused look "now instead of kissing you, I'll have to ravish you. It will be the first thing I'll do when I wake up"

Their eyes locked for a second, but only for a second, because Pam opened the door abruptly, making Sam jump out of the bed, and landing straight to the floor. Freddie sat upright quickly, checking on Sam to see if she was hurt or something. Sam sat on the floor and sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're late for school, kid" she said, looking around suspiciously "were you talking to someone?"

"No… I was talking to myself" Sam muttered "me and myself were having a lovely conversation before you barged in like that. Never heard of knocking?"

"Save it. I'm not going to argue with you today. I'm sick and tired of your attitude Sam. When I said you should get over the boy, I was thinking of your well being. I was trying to help you"

"You didn't do a very good job, Pam. And you never tried before, why would you start now?"

"Sam… please don't start" Freddie begged, but she ignored him, pretending he wasn't even there "please, please?"

"You know that's not true. I've been trying hard Samantha, but you're not making it easy for me. I know that you're sad because of the boy, but I just want you to know that life goes on, you'll have to move on someday"

"It won't be necessary. Freddie will make up soon and then we can all move on together"

"Alright, you know what? It's fine, if you want to believe it, then believe it. I'm not going to bug you anymore. I just want you to know, kid, that if you need to talk, I'm here"

Sam nodded, avoiding Pam's eyes. Her mother sighed, nodded and closed the door. Sam remained on the floor, in her pajamas and scowling. Freddie joined her, leaning his back against her bed. they stayed in silence for a couple of seconds.

"Sam…" he started.

"Don't!" she raised her hand "don't even start Freddie"

"You didn't even know what I was going to say!" he whined.

"I get the feeling it was something along the lines _your mother is right"_

"But she is. You shouldn't shut her out like that. And there is a possibility that I will never…" she glared at him, a evil glare with hints of hurt in it, she didn't want him to keep talking.

"Don't! After everything that happened these last few days, I don't want to hear this kind of shitty talk. I don't want you to give me the famous _if something happens _speech. I refuse to listen. You're in coma, lying on a hospital bed, and still you're here with me. That has to count for something. If this kind of thing can happen, then you can wake up too"

He didn't object, he knew she needed to believe this and he kinda needed it too. Something to hold on to, and she was right, if she was able to see him now maybe it was because something was going to change. Soon. Sam stood up and grabbed a few clothes before heading for the bathroom. Freddie remained where he was, trying not to feel down with Pam's words. Somehow she was right, if something happened he would want Sam to move on, and not live in pain like she was before. Before she could see him, he didn't want her to suffer. Of course she would, just like he would suffer if he was in her shoes, but he knew he wasn't going to be able to move on, still he wanted her to be because she was stronger than him, she always been.

Sam left the bathroom ten minutes later, dressed and ready to go. She grabbed her backpack and threw some books inside. Freddie followed her into the kitchen, where she grabbed a cup of coffee and ate toasts with jam, which Pam made for breakfast. Then she left the house, slamming the door on her way out. Freddie followed her to the bus stop, and sat beside her while she waited. None of them said anything the whole time, and that was killing him. He needed to break the silence and know that everything was going to be okay, at least for the present moment.

"Listen Sam, I'm sorry, okay? I don't mean to be a downer; I just don't want you to suffer"

"You make me suffer when you say things like that. So if you don't want me to suffer, never, ever say it again"

"Okay. I'm sorry, but please don't be mad, I don't want to fight, I'm just so happy you can see me"

"Alright Benson" she smiled a little "let's not fight"

"Great"

Freddie smiled and put his hand over hers, making Sam chuckle. She could never really get used to his touch, not this kind of touch, when he was something between a ghost and a person, but she could never get enough either. Freddie followed Sam all the way to school, like he did every day, only today she would make mean comments about people and he would chuckle. People would sometimes pass by her and give her an odd look, when she was talking to herself, or in her eyes, to Freddie. But Sam didn't care, she would just glare at whoever was staring at her like she was a freak and the person would back off quickly.

"Hey Sam" Carly said, with a renewed smile, she got back on Friday afternoon.

"Hey Carls. What's up?"

Sam really wanted to tell Carly what was going on with her and Freddie, but she had the feeling Carly wouldn't believe her. And besides, this was something only hers and Freddie's, some kind of special secret.

"Not much. What about you?"

"I'm good. Hey, I never got to say thanks for what you did in the hospital"

"Hey, you don't have to. I'm sorry about what I said before, about being better to let him go. I was just crazy and I totally get your point, I realized that afternoon I could never let him go either"

Sam smiled at Freddie, who sighed and nodded. He got a little upset when Sam told him what Carly said, but he got over it because she never really meant it, still it hurt a little thinking that Carly wouldn't fight to keep him alive. He thought they were best friends. But she came to her senses afterwards, and helped Sam convince his mother to keep him here, so he forgave her.

"Yeah, I know" Sam patted Carly's arm "that's all in the past now, let's forget about that conversation okay? I'm sorry about the things I said"

"It's okay. You were right, I just didn't want to see it, and I think it has always been this way, but I never acknowledge it. Hearing you say it made it all real"

"I didn't mean it… well I meant it, but I was angry okay? I'm sorry"

"Alright. You're sorry and I'm sorry, let's stop being sorry for a while okay?" Carly snickered.

"Okay, I hate being sorry anyway"

"So? What are you doing tonight?" Carly asked.

"Uh… nothing I think…" Sam sneaked a glance over to Freddie, who shrugged.

There wasn't much they could do together.

"Wendy is throwing a small party for her birthday. Wanna come?"

"I…"

Sam looked at Freddie again. To Carly, it seemed like she was looking at nowhere and doing some thinking, when in fact she was mentally asking Freddie if this was a good idea. Not that she needed to ask his permission, but she wasn't sure if he could come to a party. Freddie, on the other hand, was contemplating the fact that maybe this could be his last party, and he didn't want to waste anymore time. It could be fun taking Sam out, even in these conditions; they could still make fun of everyone else and laugh at their own private jokes. Besides, Sam needed to have some fun after everything that happened, and he wanted to be there, making sure she would focus on him and don't let any other guy bother her.

He nodded and smiled, telling her that maybe wasn't a bad idea to have some fun. She sighed, and nodded. One would think Sam Puckett was a party girl, but in fact she hated the massive crowd of drunken teenagers acting stupid and getting frisky. She liked to have fun, but not in that way. For starters, she wasn't fun of guys trying to grope her while choking on bear, which was never on her list of things to do. She wasn't her mother. It might seem a bit weird, but Sam loved to watch TV with Freddie on Friday nights, when Crazy wasn't home. They would talk and bicker for hours, not really paying attention to the TV. But the thing they did the most was cuddle, and she surprised herself with how much she enjoyed it. But right now she was curious to know how it would be like, to go to a party with Freddie… well, under the circumstances he was in.

"Alright. I'll go"

"Yay! Pick you up at ten?" Carly squealed.

"No, I'll take my mom's car. She'll be in Vegas with her new boyfriend, so her car is just sitting around gathering dust. I'll meet you there"

"Fine. See ya there then" Carly smiled, closed her locker and left for her first class.

"This will be fun" Freddie stated with a smirk.

"Yeah… totally"

"I forgot you're not much of a party girl Puckett" he snickered.

"You tell anyone, I'll kick you in the balls Benson" she threatened him, trying to hide the smile he got out of her every time he showed her how much he knew her.

By eleven Sam was ready to go. She chose a simple set of jeans, buttoned shirt and sneakers. This was Wendy's house, and there would be all kinds of daffodils, but Sam didn't give a damn about it, she wasn't the type who really gives a shit about what people think. Wendy knew her, she wouldn't mind Sam showing up in her regular clothes, especially when she came baring gifts. Sam wasn't the type to give gifts, she gave them to Carly and Freddie in Christmas and birthdays, other than that Sam Puckett didn't do much gift giving activities. However, after what happened to Freddie, Wendy has been a great friend, she even stood up for him when Marissa wanted to turn down the machines. She deserved it.

Sam didn't get any money working in the hospital, since she was a volunteer, and Pam wasn't the type to give allowance. Sam's only source of money was her grandmother. J'Maw-Maw made sure Sam and Melanie would have an allowance every month, so they could buy things for their own. Sam spent her whole money in food, but she managed to save some when she started to date Freddie. He paid for everything, so she hid some of her own cash under a pile of shoe boxes inside her closet. She managed to save at least four hundred bucks, and she was really proud of herself for it.

"Are you ready?" Freddie asked her from the bedroom.

"Yeah, dork"

Sam left the bathroom wearing her regular clothes, nothing too spectacular, but to Freddie she looked like an angel straight for heaven.

"You look beautiful" he said dazzled.

"I must've worn this shirt a thousand times Freddie" she scoffed, referring to her old blue plaid shirt "there's nothing awesome about it"

"You're always awesome to me" he said, stepping closer "all the time Samantha"

She wanted nothing more than to kiss him now. He was so perfect, sometimes she had a hard time believing he was hers. Freddie had no problem with reassuring her all the time, he liked any excuse to tell her how amazing she was and how he felt about her.

"Thanks dork. We have to go now, though" she cleared her throat, afraid she might do something stupid, like cry or throw herself at him, and land on the floor.

"Yeah. Let's go Princess Puckett"

He smirked and led the way out. Sam grabbed Wendy's present before she left. It wasn't a big deal, it was just some cologne she bought from the mall, but it was pink and smelled like cotton candy, so she figured Wendy would like it.

At first, it was weird for Freddie to be in a car again after what happened. He couldn't say he was a bit traumatized, but he held it in for Sam's sake. She, on the other side, tried to hide the way her hands were shaking by grabbing the steering wheel really hard. Freddie had some flashbacks from his own accident, but he was able to hide it as well, he didn't want, or needed Sam freaking out right there and then. When they were both out of the car, they sighed, silently so the other wouldn't hear.

Turned out she was right about three things. One, Wendy loved the present. Two, there were too many fancy dressed daffodils. And third, it was one of those encounters where the teenagers got drunk and handsy. She wasn't having a good time, and Freddie knew that.

"Why wouldn't you date one of those fancy ass daffodils? Why would you wanna date me instead?" she asked out of nowhere.

Freddie looked around. People where too drunk to realize she was talking to herself, and Carly was busy making out with Brad.

"Because you're hot without even trying. I'm not a fan of too much make up, I like natural girls. You're one special package Puckett" he said and smiled at her "funny, hot, a bit crazy, sexy, smart, beautiful and amazing at the same time. Why on earth would I change that for a girl with too much hair and no substance?"

"I believe you" she hid her smile behind a cup of peppy cola, but her eyes gave her away.

"Hey Sam…" she felt a bony arm going around her shoulder, and Freddie groaned loudly.

"Jonah?" she shoved her ex-boyfriend's arm away "get the eff off dude"

"Oh Sammy, it's good to see you! The last I heard of you, you were dating that Benson dork" he hiccupped, obviously drunk.

"Hey!" she yelled, grabbing a handful of his shirt "the only person who's entitled to call Freddie a dork is me. The rest will feel the power of my fist if they try!"

"Alright, calm down!" he laughed "so… did he die? Was that it? I heard he was on a car accident, but… I don't really know what happened after"

"You…" she breathed "he's not dead. He's in a coma"

"Ah… but you're single right?" he tried to touch her, but she slapped his hand.

"No. We're still together" she saw Freddie smiling from the corner of her eye.

"But isn't he… like, a vegetable or something?" he asked dumbly and laughed "a vegetable! He used to look like he had a carrot stuck up his ass, and now he's like a carrot"

Jonah was laughing his ass off, and Sam couldn't hold back her anger, she stepped forward, ready to do some good damage to Jonah's face when Freddie instinctively made a grab for her arm. He wasn't thinking straight, he didn't consider his situation, he just did what he would normally do, he grabbed her arm. And he really grabbed it, closing his knuckles around her upper arm. Sam's eyes widened, she looked down at her arm, and saw Freddie's hand on it. His grip was like a force, a powerful force keeping her from moving. It wasn't like a real hand holding her, it was something different. She forgot Jonah completely, eyes locked with Freddie's, and he still had his hand on her.

"Sam… I… wow"

"I…" Sam turned her eyes to look at Jonah.

He had passed out from how much he had drink. Thankful, Sam sighed, eyes going back to Freddie after she made sure no one else was paying attention.

"Let's get out of here" she suggested.

He nodded and followed her out, never letting go of her arm. Sam entered her mother's car, and Freddie had to release her. She felt weird without his touch, but she focused her eyes on the road. Sam wanted to go somewhere else, not her home for a change, not his home, not the hospital, so she drove. There was a park where you could see all the city lights from, Sam parked the car a little far from the corner of the cliff. They were quiet for a while, awkwardly quiet.

"You think I can do it again?" Freddie asked her.

"I don't know. Do you wanna try?"

"Yeah"

He touched her cheeks with his fingertips, then cupped her face with both hands. Sam closed her eyes, appreciating how much she liked his touch, even if it was new and so different from what she knew. For one, it was colder, it didn't have the same warmth his human hands used to have over her skin, and it was lighter and reassuring. It wasn't a firm touch, but she could feel it better every day.

"You think I can kiss you?" she whispered, eyes still closed.

"Don't you think it would be too weird?" he chuckled, caressing her face with his fingers.

"I don't know…" she sighed "I just really miss your lips"

"I miss yours too, but the next time I kiss you I want it to be real. My real lips, my real hands, not this"

"Okay" Sam opened her eyes, meeting the most amazing sight in the world, his eyes.

Freddie smiled and caressed her face one more time.

"I love you" he whispered.

"I love you too" she whispered back, with a smile that mirrored his own.

Sam turned on the stereo, Lana Del Rey's Video Games was playing softly on her speakers. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and dance with him. Surprisingly, Freddie always had been a great dancer, and he managed not to step on her feet even once. Being close to him wasn't so bad either, he always smelled like vanilla or cinnamon, clean and sweet. But they were together now and that would have to do.

They laid on the hood of Pam's car, watching the sunrise together, his hand over hers. For the first time in months, Freddie felt like he was really close to getting somewhere, he just didn't know where. However, he hoped he was beginning to find his way back to her. It was the only thing he wanted in his life, stay with her, forever. He wondered if God would allow him to stay with her in some way even if he died. He wished, even if it was a selfish thing, which would probably keep her from moving on. He wondered if he was worth of such privilege, but he much rather be alive by her side. However, Freddie was a smart boy, and he knew that you can't always get what you want. Life isn't fair.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys, I'm sorry it's been so long. Here it is, new chapter. Listen, I have a favor to ask, to all of you. My grandma, who I love very much, is the hospital now. The doctors suspect she has a heart condition and to be sure they want to keep her there to make exams. If she has this heart condition, they'll have to do a procedure that's really dangerous and I'm so scared. I wanted to ask you guys to pray for her, please guys, even if you don't know her, just pray. I updated today because it's been too long and I don't like to keep my readers waiting, but I didn't edit, so it might be a mess. I don't feel like doing it right now, but I need to distract myself so I won't think too much and go crazy. The only way to do this is here on FF and on tumblr. But honestly, it's not helping very much. Well, that's all. Thank you, guys.<strong>


	9. Run

_Light up, light up_

_As if you have a choice_

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear…_

_(Snow Patrol – Run)_

* * *

><p>Prom.<p>

Carly was squealing her head off because of Prom. She kept repeating how great it would be, and how awesome, and how amazing. Sam just wanted to make her shut up, mostly because she hated prom, and secondly because she wasn't going. But Carly kept going on and on about it, while Sam missed Freddie to death. Freddie. It was all his fault. When Carly asked Sam to spend some girl time with her, Freddie was the one who said it would be good for them, to have some alone time together. Sam agreed at the time because she really missed Carly, but deep down inside she knew she was going to regret, a little.

So, Freddie told her to have a good day and said he was going to stay with Brad a little bit. He told her about the afternoon in the hospital, when he was almost sure Brad could feel him, and he wanted to try to make some sort of contact with his best friend. She understood that he needed time with Brad just as much as she needed with Carly, but fun time for Carly meant shopping and since prom was just around the corner, it meant shopping for prom dresses. Long story short, she was bored to the bone.

She knew her friend didn't do this on purpose, it wasn't like she was rubbing on Sam's face she was going to prom with her boyfriend, no it wasn't that. But Carly was naturally too excited about this kind of stuff; it was her personality, so Sam cut her some slack. Still, Sam couldn't help but feel bored and irritated. Carly was trying the tenth dress she found, when Sam remembered something important. She hadn't told Freddie yet about school. He was going to be pissed, but she didn't care, she made her choice and he should just deal with it.

Seeing Carly picking a fancy pink dress gave Sam an opportunity to tell her friend about it, but she hadn't heard from Ted yet, it was better to just wait. It could be easier for Sam to fail junior year, if wasn't for Freddie always demanding her to get the answers right and study. She had to find a way to fool him, so she said she was ready to do the test alone and that it was better for him not go with her. When Freddie raised his eyebrow in suspicion, Sam said she wanted to prove him that she could do it alone and that it may be weird for her to talk to herself during tests. Freddie not entirely bought it, but he didn't say anything. So she did her worse and flunked. Now she was waiting for Ted to tell her that.

"How about this one?" Carly asked, shoving a pink strapless dress at Sam's face.

"It's pink, but it looks good with your hair. I say, buy it!" she tried to sound sincere and excited, so Carly would believe it, buy the damn dress and this nightmare would be over.

"Oh… thanks, I thought so too. I'll take it" she was just reaching for her wallet when she stopped and looked at Sam "you think Brad will like it?"

"Come on, Carly! The boy is going to love even if you wear a hobo outfit! Just buy it already!" she pushed Carly towards the sales woman.

"Alright" Carly squealed and took off her wallet "what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Don't you wanna go to prom?"

"Me? Prom? Okay Carls, are you drunk or what?" she scoffed.

"God Sam! You don't need to be mean, I just wondering. And even though I think you should go, even if it's by yourself, I'm not going to force you or anything"

"Okay then, don't force me, because I'm not going. There's no reason why I should, and I don't want to sit by myself and watch a bunch of idiots dancing and making out. Thank you but no thank you. Besides, that would require me to wear a dress, which you know I hate"

"Well, yeah" she shrugged "so, what are you going to do tomorrow night?"

"Just watch some movie about teenagers getting killed at prom"

"Wow, that's… nice" Carly cringed "anyway, I thought you were going to see Freddie"

"Yeah, I will, then I'll go home and watch my cheap thriller flick"

"Alright Sam" Carly laughed "have fun then"

"Oh, I will. And just in case you happen to bump on a serial killer at your prom, call me"

"Sure, because I'll be facing a potential murder and the first thing going through my mind will be _oh, this will amuse Sam!"_

"Ah, it's never a sacrifice to make a friend happy"

"Sure, even if it costs my life?"

"Of course"

"Okay Sam, let's do this, if I see some guy who might look like a murderer, I'll send you a picture, okay?"

"That's why you're my friend, because you're smart!"

Carly shook her head and paid for the dress. She was so happy Sam was getting better, smiling more, making jokes, she was almost like her old self and nothing made Carly happier. After that afternoon in the hospital, their friendship was a little shaken, but they worked it out. Now, the only thing that was missing was Freddie. Speaking of which, while the girls paid for the dress and headed to the Groovy Smoothies, Freddie was sitting on a beanbag in the iCarly studio watching Brad work on some montage he was making.

He was collecting all the camera moments Freddie ever had on iCarly, choosing a cool soundtrack and making the girls a prom gift. He wanted to tell them that Freddie would always be there, even if he wasn't.

"That looks really cool Brad" he whispered "thank you"

"I guess we're almost finished" he said to himself.

With a final editing touch, the video was ready, so he prepared the TV for when the girls arrived. This idea struck him when he was doing nothing, just sitting around watching some old iCarly web shows. He came across one of the episodes Freddie made an appearance on stage, sort of speak, and he suddenly had the urge to see more of his friend. Now, with the video finished, he smiled to himself and sat there, with his eyes closed.

Much like Freddie, Brad didn't have a lot of guy friends, or friends in general, so when the two of them met, they hit it off immediately. Freddie couldn't say he had no guy friends, because he had Gibby and Spencer, but they were much too different. With Brad things were easier because they were very alike, they shared the same taste for movies, music and books, they were both techy nerds, and they really could use each other's company. In matter of months they became best friends.

"You're a good friend Brad, and I'm glad I met you. I know you can't hear me, but I want you to know that you made my life a little better by being my friend. Thank you"

Freddie put his hand on Brad's shoulder, and his friend opened his eyes and jumped. Sometimes Brad would feel this thing, like someone was near him, a presence, but not the kind that gives you the creeps, it was a good presence. Freddie smiled and squeezed his shoulder, making Brad gasp.

"W-what?" he stuttered.

"Hey baby"

"Hey Bradley Not-So-Cooper" she chuckled "no, let me rephrase that; Bradley That-Will-Never-Be-Cooper"

The girl's voices, made him jump once more, this time to his feet. Freddie retrieved his hand, and whatever Brad felt before, was no longer there. When Sam walking into the studio, the first thing she saw was Brad's weird expression and Freddie's smile. She knew Freddie was trying to "make contact", or whatever, with Brad, and it must've been working a little bit. Brad ran his hand through his hair and tried to act cool in front of Carly. There was no good way to explain this to her. She wouldn't understand.

"Hey, did you bought the dress?" he gave her a little peck.

"Sure, but you can't see yet. It's a surprise!"

"Alright… uh, girls?"

"Yeah?" they said.

"I want to show you guys something, but first, let me go get Spencer"

"Alright, I have to put these bags on my room anyway"

After Carly and Brad exited the studio, Sam ran to Freddie and he cupped her cheek, caressing her lovingly.

"Hey, I missed you" she whispered.

"I missed you too" he replied.

"What have you been doing, besides scaring Brad to shit?"

"I didn't scare him. He felt me, but he wasn't afraid, he was surprised" he slid his hand from her cheek to her neck and came to rest on her shoulder.

"If you say so…" she closed her eyes and exhaled "I had a very tiring day"

"What can I do to make you feel better?"

She snapped her eyes open, clearly thinking a bunch of inappropriate things, but Carly walked in, making her shift her attention from Freddie to her friend.

"What do you think Brad want to show us?"

"I don't know. But hey, why don't you ask him?" she pointed at Brad, dragging Spencer into the studio.

"So, I want to show you guys something I did"

"Do it fast Brad, I have three sculptures to finish" Spencer whined.

"Shut you Spencer" Sam hissed.

"Alright…" Brad set up the TV and connected to his computer "here" he pressed play.

The clip started, and every eye in the room went wide. Halfway through it, Carly was sobbing against Spencer's arm, who was wiping his own tears with the sleeves of his sweater. Brad was watching them, watching Freddie, and he felt an enormous satisfaction along with an aching sorrow. Sam was smiling at his adorable dorky face on screen, she was marveled by the way he grew up and how well he grew up. Freddie put his hand over hers and leaned to whisper in her ear.

"I love you Princess Puckett"

By the end of the video, Carly's eyes were swollen and red, and Spencer was wiping his nose on his sweater. Brad wrapped his arm around Carly's shoulder and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Brad… that was beautiful, thank you" Carly mumbled against his shoulder.

"You're welcome, babe"

"That was beautiful" Spencer choked out.

"Sam, can you give this copy to Mrs. Benson?"

"Sure, I'll hand it to her"

"I wanna put this on the iCarly website if that's okay with you" he asked her.

"Sure, go ahead… I gotta go, you guys… I see you tomorrow"

Seeing Freddie's face on screen brought back some sweet memories to Sam. She didn't want to cry, but the tears were just around the corner, so she had to get out of there. The whole way home Freddie didn't say anything, he wanted to talk to her when she was willing to, no pressure. As usual, Pam wasn't home, so Sam could have a time for herself, or herself and Freddie. She knew he wanted to talk, but he was waiting for her.

"I wanted to cry right there and then. There, I admitted!" she hissed "but I can't, because it's too embarrassing"

"Sam, I know you're strong, and I know you're the strongest of us all, but a few tears won't hurt"

"Yeah, I guess"

She flopped down on her bed, and he followed suit. Once they were on their sides, facing each other, Freddie felt a very weird feeling, like something was sucking him somewhere, but it wasn't strong, it was a distant feeling. He blinked twice, and shook his head. He looked like a TV off the air, disappearing for a second, then back to normal.

"What was that?" she jumped.

"I don't know… I had this weird feeling and just…" he looked down at his hands, they disappeared before his eyes for a second.

"Freddie…? Are you feeling okay? What are you feeling?" she started to freak out.

"I'm fine now"

They waited for a little while, to see if that happened again. It didn't.

"What do you think was that?" she asked.

"I don't know, but whatever it was, it's gone now. I don't feel it anymore"

"Freddie…"

"Don't worry Sam, I'm fine. I swear. Why don't you go take a shower and go to bed, you have school tomorrow"

"I don't want to go. What if I go and you disappear?" she yelled.

"I won't go anywhere, I promise"

"You can't promise me that!"

"Sam… relax okay? I won't go anywhere, I just know it!" he growled "sorry, I'm sorry. Baby, listen" he cupped her face "I will be here, I swear. Please, please believe me"

She sighed and nodded. Sam didn't want to go, her heart was beating so fast, she was scared. There weren't many moments in life where Sam Puckett felt scared, at least not as she was right now. She felt exactly the way she did when he got into a coma, scared, suffocated and desperate, but she trusted Freddie, if something else was up, he would've let her know. He wasn't going anywhere without telling her, and he wouldn't lie. Not to her, anyway.

After Sam closed the bathroom door, Freddie stared at his hands. That was the weirdest feeling he ever felt since he woke up, and he wasn't entirely sure if this was good or bad. Whatever it was, it didn't happen again that night. As he lay on the bed, close to Sam, he kept his eyes on the ceiling, trying not to think about that too much. The next day, Carly was telling Sam about this amazing hotel she was going with Brad after the prom, when he felt it again. Thankfully, Sam didn't notice, she was distant, in deep thought.

"_Sam Puckett to the principal's office"_

"Oh Sam… what did you do this time?" Carly asked.

"Don't worry Carls, just go to class"

"Okay, but I wanna know everything about it after school"

"I thought you were going to the beauty salon after school"

"I will… dang it, there's no enough time to get ready, I hate them for putting prom on a Friday! We're still having class for Christ's sakes!"

"_Sam Puckett to the principal's office"_

"I gotta run Carls… see ya later"

"See ya"

The two friends departed to opposite sides. Freddie waited until Sam was alone in the hallway, on her way to Ted's office, to speak up.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"Nothing Fredwizz. Listen, I gotta do this by myself, I'll meet you later"

"No way! Whatever the hell you got yourself into, I wanna know!"

"Listen Freddie" she stopped "I don't need you there freaking out, and make it harder for me to pretend I don't see you! I don't want Ted to think I'm crazy, so do me a favor and go to my place, and wait for me there. I swear to god I will tell you everything later. Please, trust me?"

He sighed, there was no point arguing with her now. Heck, there was never a point arguing with her.

"Alright Sam, but I wanna know whatever you got yourself into"

"I'll tell you Freddie, I promise"

Freddie did as she said, he went to her house and waited in her room. He never felt so nervous before, every minute was agonizing. Around six o'clock, he heard the front door opening, less than a minute later, Sam walked into the room and dropping her bag on the floor.

"What happened? Where have you been? Do you know how worried I was? What did you do this time?"

"Wow, wow, wow dork! Calm your tits. One question at the time"

"Start talking! What happened? What did you do this time?"

"Listen, I was at Carly's helping her get ready. Apparently something happened with her appointment in the salon and she had to beautify herself. I was giving her a hand. Chillax, Fredster"

She sat on the edge of the bed and removed her shoes. Sam was extremely tired, she was indeed helping Carly get ready, and she took the opportunity to tell her friend she was going to do junior year all over again. Carly freaked out and almost burned herself with the curling iron, then she went on and on about how disappointed she was and how Sam could do better if she tried. Things only got worse after she told Carly the reason why she flunked was Freddie. Her friend didn't understand Sam only wanted to be with him when he woke up and needed to go through junior year all over again. Then Carly told Sam, Freddie would never be okay with that, and that might be truth, but what's done is done.

"I'm going to get a shower, I'll tell you after I'm done"

Freddie was faster and grabbed her arm, really tight. She turned around to look at him in shock, this grip, right now, was the strongest she ever felt since she started to see him. It was almost like his human hands on her again.

"You promised me you would tell me, and I don't feel like waiting Sam"

"Okay…" she looked down at his hand and sighed "but please, don't be mad"

"What did you do?" he exhaled.

"I…" she sat back on the bed, running her hands through her hair "I'll be doing junior year again next year"

"What?"

"I'll be doing junior year again next year" she blurted out "it's not a big deal Freddie. We all know this was bound to happen someday"

"Sam… I can't believe you! You are so smart, but you don't give yourself a chance. This is all my fault" he started to walk around in her room.

"This is all my fault" she said "not yours"

"Yes it is! If I wasn't around all the time you would have time to concentrate in school. I distracted you! This is all my fault!"

"No it's not!" she started to follow him around "I did this because I wanted to. I did this so we could be together next year"

"Wait… you did this on purpose?" he stopped "you failed a grade on purpose?"

"Yeah! I couldn't leave you alone next year, I wanted us to be together and I have no regrets!"

"Sam!" he growled "what? You…? Do you think that this is what I want? Huh? Do you think I wanted you to fail for me? What kind of sick bastard you think I am?"

"No! Freddie! I know that you would never ask this of me, I know. This is my wish, I wanted to. This has nothing to do with you. To be honest, I don't want to be a senior without you! Who's going to do my homework?"

Her failed attempt of making a joke only made him angrier. How could she do this? Did she think it was okay for her to make everything seem like a big joke? Why she was ruining her life in hope for such a uncertain future? He did not wanted to go there, because he knew how much it hurt her, but he had no choice. She needed to understand, once and for all, that there was a possibility he would never return.

"What happens if I don't wake up next year? Will you fail again? What happens if I never wake up?" he yelled "will you spend the rest of your life in school Sam? What about college? What about life? Don't you wanna have a family?"

"Yes I do!" she screamed, hurt by the words coming out of his mouth "with you!"

"What happens if I die? If I never, ever wake up? What then? Have you thought about that already?" he yelled, taking a step closer.

"Stop!" she covered her ears with her hands, not wanting to hear any more.

"Tell me Sam! Tell me! What are you going to do when I die?" he grabbed her by the shoulders and screamed "because I'm going to! And you might as well accept that already!"

"Shut up!" she shoved him, her eyes filled with tears "shut up! Shut up! You promised you wouldn't leave me!"

"Guess what? It doesn't matter! I shouldn't have promised you something I couldn't predict! I don't know what is going to happen in the future, maybe I will wake up, maybe I won't, but you can't postpone your life because of me. Nothing of this is certain, nothing is certain Sam, we don't know how the future is going to be like, so stop making assumptions! This is ruining your life, that's not what I want! I want you to be happy Sam, it's all I want"

"I can only be happy with you" she tried to touch him, but he pushed her hands away.

"Stop saying that! The Sam I know doesn't need anyone to do anything! You don't need me, you never did"

"Are you dumb? Or are you blind?" she shoved him again "I always needed you, you were and always will be the person that matters the most to me. I love you Freddie, you were the one who taught me how to love, without you I wouldn't know what that word means. I hate it, loving, I hate it, but not when it comes to you. You're the only person I feel comfortable with all this loving. Do you know what this means to me? It's like getting into med school, for me, it's almost impossible. I can't lose that, because if I lose that I'll never have it again and I'll just go back to be the Sam I was before you. Wounded, scared, angry"

She was crying now, and he hated to see her cry. He hated to be the one making her cry, but she was going to ruin her life waiting for him and he couldn't have that.

"Sometimes I wish I just… died in that car crash. It would make everything easier"

"Don't say that! Don't you ever say that again!" she screamed at the top of her lungs "what good you think it would do? To me, to your friends? To your mom?"

"At least you would be able to move on, if there was nothing to hang on to you would be able to just move on!"

"I can move on you stupid asshole!" she wanted to beat him up, or throw something at him. She wanted to hurt him as bad as he was hurting her "fuck you, Freddie! You don't understand and never will, I bet if it was me in that bed you wouldn't even care!"

He gasped, how could she say that? How could she think that? If it was her he would… be doing the same thing she is right now. He rubbed his face and sat down on her bed. He had no right to judge her, because if he was in her shoes he would be doing the exact same thing. That's what you do when you love someone, you wait for them.

"Sam… don't say that" he pleaded "you know if it was you there I would…"

"Be doing the same thing I am right now" she whispered "so why don't you understand me?"

"I'm sorry Sam. The thought of you ruining your life because of me it's too much! I just want you to be the best that you can be; I just want you to be happy. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

"Listen, I know this is not what you wanted for me, you would never ask this of me, and I know you want me to be happy. But this is what I want, and if you love me you'll understand"

"I'm sorry. Alright? I'm sorry for what I said"

"Okay… alright" she sighed "can you go outside for a minute?"

"Why?" he asked warily.

"I want to take a shower and change… I'll be naked… so, wait outside" she mumbled.

"Oh…" he blushed "alright… okay… sure… I'll be… there… outside… just call me when you… you know… when you're ready"

"Okay"

"Alright… have fun, in the shower…" he said stupidly, cursing himself for being such a dork "yeah… that's it"

He waited outside, pacing around the living room, waiting for Sam. He was so sorry, so deeply sorry for the things he said, but when she told him what she did, he was furious. That was beside the point now; he couldn't really judge her for something he would've done himself. Freddie sat on the couch and tried to get over it. He closed his eyes for a moment, lately he was feeling so tired, and he didn't even realized when he fell asleep. He didn't think he was able to. Some amount of time passed, until Freddie started to feel weird, just like that time he felt something pulling him. He opened his eyes and looked down at his tingling hands, they were disappearing.

"Freddie? You can come in now" Sam's voice snapped him back to reality.

"Oh… I'll be right there" he looked down at his hands once again, and they were back into place "it's nothing" he murmured to himself.

When he entered the room, the lights were down, she had lightened up some candles and put on some music. He recognized his PearPod, and the music coming out of it was Train's _Brick By Brick. _Sam was standing in the corner, dressed in a pretty purple strapless dress and wearing black heels. Her hair was pulled back in a braid, falling on her shoulder. Sam was even wearing some makeup, on her eyes and cheek, maybe some lip gloss. Freddie was marveled with the sight in front of him. She looked so beautiful, truly beautiful.

"It's prom" she said with a shy smile.

"I know" he said, coming closer.

"So I figured we could have our own little prom party"

"That seems nice" he said.

"So, dance with me dork" she held her hand up for him.

"Yes ma'am" he took her hand sweetly, and put it over his shoulder, placing one hand on her waist and gripping her free hand "I'm so sorry Sam"

"Stop saying that, alright? Don't ruin my prom" she shoved him playfully.

"Okay…" he smiled and rested his head against hers "I love you"

"Yeah, I know that" she giggled "I love you too"

"I wish I could stay with you forever" he whispered in her ear.

"So, stay with me" she whispered back "I don't mind"

He chuckled and kissed the side of her head "I'll try"

"No" she pulled back to look at him "you'll make it"

"I will" he nodded.

They kept swaying at the sound of Jimmy Eat The World's _Hear You Me, _when suddenly Freddie felt his heart pounding very fast. First he thought it was because of her, because he was so close to her, but then he felt a pang in his chest.

"Ouch!"

"What?" he pulled away and held his face in her hands "what's wrong?"

"My heart… hurts" he put his hand over his chest.

"Oh…" she smiled "mine too… it aches whenever I'm that close to you, but in a good way"

"Yeah, that's just it" he lied, feeling his heartbeat racing more and more.

Until now, Freddie didn't realize he hasn't felt his heart beating since he woke up. Something was off, and he wasn't feeling good, but he didn't want to freak Sam out. She rested her head carefully on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Freddie breathed sharply, wrapping his arms around her and trying to shake the bad feeling out of his head. In time he was feeling that sucking sensation again, like something was pulling him somewhere. His heart raced, more, and more, and more. He pulled away from her, holding onto to his chest.

"What's wrong?" she asked, reaching for him.

"I don't feel okay…" he whispered.

"What are you feeling?" she panicked.

"My heart… Sam… something is pulling me"

"Something? What, like what?"

"I don't know… I just… don't know" his voice was weak, he was starting to feel out of breath "Sam… I think I'm dying"

"No, no, no… don't say that" she panicked and grabbed him by the shoulders "sit down… sit here"

She helped him sit down on the edge of her bed; he kept clutching his chest the whole time. His heart was beating incredibly fast, as if it was out of control. He wondered if he was going to die from a heart attack or whatnot.

"Funny…" he whispered "I never thought I was going to die from a heart attack at the age of seventeen"

"You're not dying, stop saying that" she said between tears "see what you did? You made me cry, you know how much I hate it"

"You look pretty when you cry" he smiled "I like how your eyebrows get red and your face flushes… your nose look especially cute"

"Yeah, sure" she chuckled "what are you feeling now?" she stroked his hair.

"Weird… I feel like something is pulling me somewhere"

"Wherever it is… don't go" she begged "stay with me"

"I'm trying" he exhaled "can you give me your hand?"

"Yes… sure" she gave him her shaken hand "stay with me?"

"Always" he smiled.

Freddie started to disappear in front of her eyes, and before she could blink, he was gone. She panicked and started to search for him, scream his name and whatnot, but he never answered, he never returned. Without thinking, Sam grabbed the car keys and drove like a madwoman to the hospital. He wasn't going to die on her, he promised he would stay, and he never broke a promise before.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys, I'm sorry it's been so long. Tests are finally over, but I don't know most of my grades yet, which is agonizing. I wanna thank you all for your words, and prayers, apparently you guys are great at it, because my grandma did the surgery, and she's just fine and back home! Thank you guys so much! Well, one more chapter to go, then the epilogue and we're done! I know I promised the iSeddie sequel right after this one was over, but I'm going to take a little break from writing, not for long, but I need to go on a checkup mode. I haven't gone in the doctor in so long, and I kinda need to get my health checked. Also, I'm moving today, which is why I can't edit the chapter. I just wanted to update real quick before I left. Now I've got to go, new apartment, new home, new… well, everything. And I hate it, but I don't know, maybe something good will come out from this mess! Oh, and about the chapter, sorry about the cliffhanger, but some thrill is nice once in a while, right? There's a Hunger Games reference somewhere in the chapter, who guess what it is first will get a sneak peek from the last chapter!<strong>

**God bless you all. I love ya!**


	10. Forever And Always

_I want you forever, forever and always_

_Through the good and the bad and the ugly_

_We'll grow old together, and always remember_

_Whether happy or sad or whatever_

_We'll still love each other, forever and always_

_(Parachute – Forever And Always)_

* * *

><p>Freddie opened his eyes. He felt incredible, weightless and relaxed, like he rested his body for weeks. He rubbed his eyes and looked around; making a quick recognition of the place he was in. Freddie was expecting to be in a Hawaiian paradise, with a great view of the beach and masseurs. Maybe a spa in Thailand, or just his bed in his room, at the good old Seattle. But unfortunately he was back in his hospital room… hospital room…? <em>Sam<em>. The thought of Sam brought him back to reality; he sat up in one quick motion and jumped off the bed.

Only when his feet touched the floor he realized something was off. This was his room, but wasn't at the same time. For one, he was lying on the bed where the his body was supposed to be, only, it wasn't there. The room was also awfully white, and the windows were gone, along with the door. He furrowed his brows, and touched the walls, searching for a doorknob or whatnot. Nothing, he found nothing. The only thing in the room with him was him own shadow.

"Where am I? Is this purgatory?"

Purgatory, that was funny. _Time to pay for your sins Fredward Karl Benson_, he imagined God telling him. Only, he didn't have any major sins, maybe a lie to his mother occasionally, bad words sometimes, when he was really angry, some actions he wasn't quite proud of, some impure thoughts due to his boyish hormones and some hurtful things he said to some people along his short life. Seventeen years on earth, that was all he was granted, but why? Wasn't he good enough? He always thought if you did good things, and lived by the rules, God would reward you somehow. Maybe it was just because he was Jewish by birth, but had no problem with Jesus being God's son what so ever. _Choose your side Fredward!_ The masculine voice hissed in his mind.

No, it wasn't like that, God wasn't a vengeful creature that punishes his creations for being… teenager and confused? He thought. Freddie exhaled sharply and sat back on the edge of his bed. This had nothing to do with his family's religious background, or with whatever he's done in his life, which wasn't much to be totally honest. Maybe, it was just what God had planned for him since day one, and if that was his fate, he should be okay with that. He should accept whatever God had in mind for him, and move along gladly. It's not like he wasn't rewarded in any way for being a good boy, God gave him seventeen great years on earth, awesome friends, a loving mother, a comfortable home, a wisdom and love. God gave him Sam and that was more than he could ever ask for. She truly was one of a kind, a gift from heavens made only to make his life a little brighter, made especially for him.

He smiled, thinking of her. There was so much he still wanted to live with her, things he still wanted to see and do, but he had to accept whatever his fate was. _This will be good, maybe I'll meet Einstein and Isaac Newton on the other side… that's if they're at heaven… because I think I'm going to heaven… I mean, I've been relatively good all my life, I think I deserve a spot in heaven. Maybe I'll even get to see Steven Jobs, Michael Jackson… okay I'm not sure Michael it's up there, but I like to think he is, so let's leave it to that. I'm not really sure I'll see Amy Winehouse though, meh… I'll definitely see Audrey Hepburn. Maybe even Cher… oh wait, she's not dead yet. How come she's not dead yet?_

"You think too much" a man said, somewhere in the room.

"I…"

Freddie turned around, and saw an older version on himself, maybe late twenties to early thirties. The guy was leaning against the wall, exactly where the window was supposed to be. The guy had an all familiar smirk on his face, and he was wearing a white shirt, grey jeans and a pair old dancing shoes. Black shoes, guys used to use for dancing waltz or ballroom dance.

"Hey Freddie, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine… and you are…?"

"Don't you recognize me?" the guy frowned.

"Are you… me?" he tried.

"No, but that's pretty close"

"You look like me"

"No, you look like me. I was here first pal" he chuckled.

"Dad?"

"Hey kiddo. I would ask how are you doing, but I guess I know exactly"

Some old emotions started to surface when he saw his father's face. When he died Freddie was nothing but a little boy, but he knew his face from pictures his mother dearly kept around the house. He never really knew his dad, as a person or as a father, so seeing him right now was… well, it was a feeling so weird he couldn't describe, like a giant ball of emotions, mixed and wrapped up in years and years of lonely father's day. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, and he chose the one that intrigued him the most.

"Am I dead?"

"All in its right time, okay son?" Freddie was confused to the bone, but he nodded "that's a good champ"

"Where are we?" he stood up and walked to the other side of the bed, closer to his father "is this purgatory?" he whispered.

His father laughed "no son, this is not purgatory"

"Then where are we?"

"In the hospital" he said like it was the world's most obvious thing.

"I know _that_… but truthfully, where are we?"

"We're at your hospital room Freddie"

"My actual room?"

"Exactly!" he smiled.

"I don't understand"

"Don't you know?" Freddie shook his head "everything is about to begin"

Sam has always been called a bunch of things, delinquent (mostly by Mrs. Benson), troubled, messy, lazy, dumb… but she had never been so scolded before, as she tries to cut between two cars and ignore the red light. Truthfully, she didn't even hear the screams of rage of the drives she left behind, if this was any other day she would get out of the car and… well, it wouldn't be pretty. But right now, she was most concerned with getting to the hospital in time. Time for what, she wasn't sure, because she didn't even know what was going on. Once she refused to accept the fact Freddie might really been dying at the present moment, she was left with no ideas of what was going on, or where he went. She didn't even know if he was indeed at the hospital, but she went there anyway, because that was where his body was. To be honest, she didn't do much thinking; she just got into the car and drove.

Ten minutes later she was abandoning her mother's car in front of the hospital, shoving the keys in her dress' pocket and running her ass off. The shoes weren't a big help, Sam never really knew exactly how to wear heels, and running in them wasn't a very bright idea. She yanked them off and ran barefoot through the hospital.

"Sam?" Laney yelled, when she passed like a hurricane through her.

She didn't have the luxury to spot for a nice conversation at the moment, so she kept running. She had to get there in time… for something. His room was on the fourth floor and she wasn't about to wait for the elevator. The stairs where the quickest way there, so she made a run for it, pushing one of the nurses out of her way and climbed the stairs like a madwoman. Three security guards saw the blur and followed her, but she wasn't about to stop to kick their asses either, so Sam let them follow her, she would get where she had to either way. The only thing on her mind was Freddie; she had to get to him, now.

Freddie stared at his father from the corner of his eye. There were so many things he wanted to ask, so he better start now. He wasn't sure, what "everything" his father was referring to, but he feared after this he wouldn't be able to ask him anything anymore, so he might as well start now.

"Dad…?"

"Yes Freddie?" his father smiled.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything"

"Alright…" _what should I ask?_

There were too many things he wanted to ask, but at the same time, he didn't know what to ask. _That doesn't make any sense, _he scolded himself mentally. _My father is right in front of me, I've been wishing for years to see him again, and talk to him… now that he's here I am a mute? Great Freddie, you're awesome!_

"Do you miss us?" he finally let out.

"Every second, of every hour, of everyday"

"Why do you think you died?"

"Well… God works on mysterious ways Freddie. Everyone has a right amount of time on earth, we have to come here, live it and make the best of it. We also have to redeem ourselves, of our mistakes, our sins, and in the end of our journey, if we deserve, we're granted with an eternity of peace"

"How is it like? Heaven?" he asked gingerly, looking down at his hands.

"Heaven… uh…" his father put a finger over his lips and made a thinking face.

Freddie looked at him in awe; he was mesmerized at how much they looked like each other. He had the exact same thinking face.

"Heaven is different for everyone. Heaven is in your mind, son. What is heaven for you?"

He didn't even have to think, he already knew what heaven felt like, he knew it for quite some time now "be with Sam. That's heaven to me"

"Then you're going to get the heaven you deserve"

"Why can't I be here with her? I don't want to leave"

"Oh son… all in its right time, remember?" his father walked towards him and put his hand on his shoulder "there's no need to rush anything"

"I didn't remember you being so carefree"

"It's because I wasn't. But I guess that when you're dead, you can finally rest" he offered his a warm smile and a nonchalant shrug.

"Why are you wearing dancing shoes?"

"Oh…" his father laughed "your mother gave them to me. We loved to take classes together. Many of our happiest moments involved these shoes. I decided to keep them. I've always hated them, but your mother thought they were sexy. I was wearing them the night you were conceived" he said with a smirk.

Freddie decided to ignore the last comment, it made him want to gag a little bit, but it was time to focus on what was really important.

"Do you still love mom?"

"Yes. Very much" he squeezed his shoulder "and it's hard for me to be away from her, but then I realized I'll always be there with her, I'll be there in you, no matter what"

"I miss you… so much dad" tears were threatening to escape his eyes; he couldn't hold back the emotion anymore.

"I miss you too kid… but for what it's worth, I've been watching you every day. Making sure you were happy and cared for"

"Thanks…" he wiped his tears with the back of his hand "sorry… that's a bit embarrassing"

"Crying it's not something you should feel embarrassed of. It shows the emotions you hold in your heart, it shows they are real, son. You're human"

"I guess"

"Oh… it's time. We're going to watch the conclusion now…" his father clutched his arm and spun him around, to stand by his side.

The door was back in the place, so was the window. The room looked more real now, and Freddie quickly noticed his body was back in the bed. He was in his hospital room. He heard a beeping sound, that didn't seem good, he had to fight the urge to approach his monitors and see what was wrong, but before he could move, his father squeezed his shoulder and shook his head. A nurse entered the room, practically running, she checked his monitors and exited the room, now running for real.

"What's going on?" he desperately asked his dad.

"You're dying" he said seriously.

"Can't we stop this?" he yelled.

"Son… remember what I said…? Wait"

"You keep telling me to wait; I don't want to wait… I'm dying, can't you see? I don't want to die!" he screamed, pushing his father's hand away.

"Freddie" his father spoke in the softest voice he could muster "watch" he pointed at the door.

The nurse returned, this time with two doctors, who spoke rapidly and checked his pulse, his heart and his monitors.

"I don't want to go dad… please" he begged.

"Son…" he put his hand back on his shoulder "I've known you for being a patient boy"

"I can't be patient now! I'm dying for Christ's sakes!"

"Uh-uh" his father shook his head "I don't think Sam would like to see you like that"

"Sam's not even here!" he growled.

"You're sure about that?"

A moment later he saw a familiar blond girl entering his room. She was wearing the same dress he saw her in a few minutes ago… or was it hours? He didn't know. She seemed out of breath, her face was flushed and her braid was almost undone. She looked beautiful and he wondered if could ever touch her again. All he wanted was to be with her, was that asking too much? Funny how life plays out, when he finally finds something worth living for… he starts to die. Nice played God… nice played.

"Why are you blaming God?" his father asked.

"What…? How do you know…?"

"It's a trick"

"I don't know… isn't he the one who decides who goes and who stays?"

"Freddie… you can't blame God for what happened to you. God puts many different paths in front of us, and we choose the ones we'll follow. You made your choice, and you went for it. Now you must see where the path you took will lead you to"

He nodded and looked back to Sam. Why couldn't he stay with her? He just wanted one thing, and it was her, he didn't think it was too much to ask.

Sam managed to beat the two security guards and the nurses following her. She threw her shoes at the security guards, and they fell with their asses on the floor. The nurses just stayed behind, they couldn't catch up with her. When he reached Freddie's floor, the first thing she saw was the two doctors and Macy, one of the younger nurses, running into his room, and she knew, something was going on.

She barged into his room and watched as the doctors worked on him. She heard the frantic beep, she knew it was his heart, stopping.

"Can she see us?" Freddie asked.

"No, not anymore"

"What are doing here young lady?" the doctor asked from over his shoulder.

"Sam, you can't be here" Macy tried to push her off the room.

"Don't even try to touch me Macy" she yelled "let me get close to him"

"You can't. Sam please, we're just trying to do our jobs" Macy tried again, but Sam pushed her away abruptly.

"No! You don't understand I need to be here!" she screamed.

"Sam… please!"

"No!"

The security guard, with a cut on his forehead, emerged and grabbed Sam by the waist. She screamed and kicked her feet to the air, trying to break free from his grip.

"No! Freddie screamed "he's hurting her! Do something!"

"Son, don't worry about Sam, she'll be fine" his father reassured him.

Sam tried to break free from the man's grip. He was stronger than she thought, but that meant nothing, she needed to break free no matter how enormous his arms were. Freddie was dying, she knew it, she just knew it. Suddenly the beep went steady and the doctors brought a big machine, one of those things you put on someone's chest when their heart stops

"No! Please" she begged "Freddie, please, don't leave me… don't leave me please!"

"Clear!" the doctor yelled.

She cried and screamed, her desperation was too deep and too saddening. Freddie could not see her like that, for the life of his, he never wanted to see her in pain again.

"Son" his father called.

"What?" he turned to him, as desperate as Sam.

His father was motioning with his head to the place behind him. There was a door in the wall, where the window was supposed to be. Freddie could see a bright light emerging from gap on the bottom, lighting up the room. _That must be heaven_, he thought. He could feel this amazing smell filling the air, sweet and calming, like chamomile and honey… like Sam's hair. He looked at his father, who smiled, the saddest smile he ever saw, then his eyes shifted back to Sam, and saw her desperation. That would all be over as soon as he was gone. All the pain and the desperation would disappear and he would be able to rest.

"Clear!" the doctor shouted, trying to make Freddie's heart beat again.

"Please! Let me go! Please, Freddie please!" Sam screamed.

"Sam calm down!" Laney entered the room.

"No!" she yelled "he said he wasn't going to leave me Laney! He said he would stay… forever"

"Sam darling" Laney touched her face "please Sam… calm down"

Sam didn't comply, she kept moving, kicking, trying to break free. Her tears destroyed her makeup, her mascara was dripping all over her cheeks, and her hair was a terribly mess. She started to scratch the security guard's forearm and he screamed, but didn't release her.

"Dad, please…" he looked between his father and Sam.

"Son…" his father offered him his hand.

Freddie looked back to Sam. This was not what he wanted at all, he wanted her to be happy. Then her words echoed on his head,_ I can only be happy with you_. Maybe that was truth, maybe that was why he was put on earth, because he was the only one able to make her happy. He wanted to make her happy, but at the same time he didn't know how._ You have to accept it Freddie_, he said to himself, _just go, once you're dead she'll stop. She'll be better, someday… you have to trust that._

Glancing at her one more time, he said his goodbye. One solitary tear escaped his eye, and rolled down his cheek, he did not desired to leave her, but it wasn't something he could change. He turned around and grabbed the hand his father offered, at the same time, the doctor's glanced at each other and gave up on him. Everyone in the room stopped.

The guard holding Sam, dropped his arms, she was free from his grip and went straight to the floor.

"Why did you stop?" she asked the doctors "why you stupid morons?"

She stood up and pushed the doctors out of her way. She knew it was pointless to scream at them, and she didn't care at the moment if they were useless, she only needed Freddie. Sam gripped his hand tightly, silently praying for him to come back, for him to stay with her and never leave.

Freddie was about to go, he breathed and exhaled hard, and prepared himself for the inevitably, when he felt someone clutching at his hand. A grip so tight, it made him look back. Sam was holding his hand, holding it tightly, begging him to stay. He looked over to his father, and down at their joined hands. His father gave him a handshake. Just a handshake.

"Go ahead kid… let go" he said with a smile, and Freddie knew what he mean.

He released his father's hand and walked towards Sam. Suddenly all was blurry and all he could see was her face, right in front of him. Suddenly he felt dizzy, he looked at his dad, who smiled and nodded. That was the last thing he saw before he passed out.

Sam kissed his palm, pressing her cheek against the back of his hand, she cried, letting the tears soak his skin. He was gone, and he was never coming back. There was nothing else to hold on to, there was nothing anymore. He was gone… it was over. The feeling didn't even sink in when she heard a beep, then a beep, beep. The hand beneath her face twitched, and she heard a woman gasping. When she raised her head to look at him, she met his eyes, his chocolate brown eyes, staring at her half open. She could swear she saw the ghost of a smile inside his eyes.

"Freddie?" she whispered weakly.

He continued to stare, but did not respond. She could see tears forming on his eyes. The doctors rushed to him, but didn't dare to pull her away. They checked and checked, making sure everything was okay. Sam remained by his side, not even trying to hold her tears, she kept kissing his hand and looking down at him, he kept looking back, their eyes were locked, and they wanted to remain this way for as long as they both shall live.

Everything around him was confusing, it was a big blur, but he saw Sam, and he knew, he was awake. He was alive. He could feel his body, but he could not move, nor speak, his eyes were heavy and he could only open them halfway, but it was enough to see her. He was seeing her, and she looked like a beautiful mess. Freddie never been so happy before, he was back, and he was seeing her, it felt too good to be truth.

Laney called Marissa, who cried over the phone and ran to Spencer's apartment to tell the good news. The doctors explained to Sam that because of the time he was in coma, recovering would be difficult, but never impossible. She nodded and told him she would do whatever was necessary. Not even a single moment she left his side, not even to clean herself, not even when her back hurt, not even when she needed to pee.

Marissa arrived ten minutes later, and brought the gang with her. Carly was already crying, wearing her prom dress, and holding on to Brad's hand. Brad was very anxious, but he tried to keep a façade for Carly's sakes. It didn't work, as soon as he saw his friend's open eyes; he broke down crying like a baby. Gibby, Tasha and Wendy were also dressed in their fancy clothes, and Spencer was all covered in purple paint. There was a lot of crying that night.

Neither Sam, nor Marissa left his bed side that night. Freddie's mother slept on the armchair, and Sam lay on the bed by his side. She kept whispering how much she loved him, even knowing he couldn't reply. Not yet. But he could hear, and in his heart he would tell her every time that he loved her also. The next morning, Marissa woke up before Sam and went to grab something for the girl to eat. Before she left the room, Marissa looked over to her son and the girl lying beside him once more. She couldn't believe her baby was here, he was here, and Sam was right, all he needed was time.

Sam… that girl was quite something. As she slept next to Freddie, Marissa admired her. Her feet were dark from running barefoot to Freddie's room, she looked extremely tired, but her face held a smile that lit up the room. Now Marissa was sure that he was in good hands. She couldn't have asked for anyone better, now she knew he would always be happy, loved and cared for. Marissa smiled once again and exited the room, that girl was strong, but she needed to eat, she needed to be fed because even though he woke up, the road would be long hard, and both she and Sam would need to be at their best shape now.

Freddie opened his eyes to see Sam sleeping by his side. He smiled and made a little effort to raise his hand, having no success he just stared at her. Her cheeks were still dark from the mix of mascara and tears she cried last night. She breathed slowly her chest raising and falling with every breath. He wanted nothing more than to touch her. Sam squirmed and opened her eyes, her long eyelashes tickling his cheek.

"Hey" she whispered "how are you doing?"

He couldn't respond.

"Fine. Blink twice for yes and once for no" he complied, blinking twice slowly "good… am I heavy on you?" he blinked once.

She stretched a little to kiss his cheek.

"You scared me to death last night Benson" he looked sadly at her "but we're all good now"

He blinked twice.

"I love you" she whispered.

He blinked twice, then he blinked three times.

"I guess three times says that you love me too?" she smiled.

He blinked twice.

"Samantha?" Marissa called, opening the door "oh… my baby is up… I'm going to get the nurse"

Freddie looked at Sam and blinked once.

"He says no, I don't think he needs a nurse"

"How do you know?"

"We have a system" she smiled down at him.

"Of course you do" Marissa chuckled "I brought you food"

"Oh… food!" she hummed "thank you Marissa"

"You're welcome. I was thinking, you need to go home and take a shower"

"No. There's no way I will leave him" she shook her head, stuffing herself with the ham sandwich Marissa brought her "no can do"

"Samantha, this is stupid. I know you're ecstatic, I am too, but you need to clean yourself. Look at this" she pointed down at her feet "your feet are disgusting! This is not something I want close to my Freddie. He needs to recover in a clean environment, you could give him a bacteria or something"

"Oh, so you're calling me dirty?"

"That's not what I am saying, but yes, at the present moment you are dirty" she argued.

"So you don't want Dirty Sam close to your baby?" she mocked.

"Samantha… don't push me"

"I'm not pushing you, you're pushing me"

"I am not! I'm just saying that you need-"

"See, you're doing it right now, you're pushing me. You're pushing the hell out of me!"

Freddie kept watching Sam and his mother bantering back and forth. If he could laugh, he would have, but all he could do was curl the corners of his mouth upwards a little, and that took a lot of effort.

"Woman… you are totally…" she stopped as soon as she saw his face "look…"

"I was just saying that you could eat with little more manners-"

"No, Marissa… look" she pointed at Freddie "he's smiling!"

"He's not supposed to… it's too soon for that"

"You're forgetting who you're talking about" Sam bent down to kiss his forehead "he's an overachiever"

"Yes, he is" his mother said, sniffing "oh… Sam!"

"I know" she didn't even bother to swallow her tears.

Freddie watched the two women he loved the most stop fighting and hug each other tightly. For the first time in ages he was sure everything was going to be okay.

Eventually, Sam had to go home, but she made sure Carly and Brad were watching Freddie. She entered her room running, took a quick shower, changed, grabbed some clothes and ran back to the door, but Pam grabbed her arm tightly.

"Where the hell have you been? You took my car in the middle of the night and disappeared!" she hissed.

"Mom…" Sam smiled "I was at the hospital…"

"You and this obsession! Sam, how many times I'll have to tell you-"

"He's awake!" she squeaked "he woke up last night"

"W-What?" Pam stuttered, releasing Sam's arm.

"He is awake, mom! He's awake!" she hugged Pam tightly "but I gotta go back now… he needs me"

"Wait…!" Pam yelled, still dumbfounded "let me go with you!"

That was the first visit Pam paid Freddie in months. That day, she could really see how much that boy mattered too her daughter, and how wrong she was for telling Sam to move on. The way her daughter cared for him was something she never saw before, and the way he looked at her also didn't go by unnoticed. Pam never saw Sam so dedicated to something, or someone before and that was a good sign.

Her dedication sure paid off, because three days later Freddie woke up feeling way better. He watched Sam sleeping for a few more minutes, until she woke up smiling at him. She would always sleep in the same bed as him, and he didn't even mind, but he had the feeling she wasn't all that comfortable. It didn't matter, he learned that questioning her actions was not a good idea. When she sat up, and kissed his cheek, he knew something had changed, and he wanted her to be the first to know.

"Morning dorkwad" she bent over and kissed his cheek "I love you"

"Sam… I-I love… you…t-too" he stammered slowly, putting all of his heart and his effort in those words.

"W-wha…?" her eyes went wide in shock "you're… talking… you're talking Freddie!"

"Y-yes" he said.

"Oh my god! I have to call your mother" she jumped off the bed, wearing one of his old pajamas, grabbed her phone and dialed Marissa's number "the doctor's said it was going to take time for your body to recover, for you to be fully able to control your muscles and for your brain to _function_ properly or whatever" she quoted _function_ with her free hand "I told them it was bullshit, that you had the best brain ever!"

He chuckled, and she didn't realize, until now, how much she missed his laugh. He was pretty sure the doctors didn't say that to her, but the part where it was going to hard for him to regain control over his muscles was true. He's been asleep and still like a rock for almost a year now.

"Oh… hey Marissa!" she said when Marissa finally answered the phone "guess what? Freddie just talked to me. Yes! That's right, Crazy!"

Freddie silently observed the way Sam's eyes lit up while she talked to his mother on the phone. It was funny how the first word he ever said when he learned how to talk was _mom_, and now the first word he managed to speak out was _Sam_.

He sure loved those two very much. He just wished his father was here too, but he knew wherever he was, he was looking out for him. The emotion of seeing his father, and talking to him never ceased to make his eyes a little watery. It's still thrilled him how mysterious life could be. Freddie would forever hold that moment in his heart, that moment he shared with his father. He would never forget.

Slowly, day by day he regained his strength, and the doctors were surprised how fast he was recovering. Every time they mentioned it, Sam would snort and say told ya! I told ya all! The second week he was already talking complete sentences without a minimum effort. That same week, he also began to move his arms and feet. Freddie hated the wheel chair, but it was better than spend the whole day on a bed, that was for sure. Besides, Sam loved to push him around on his wheel chair and pretend he was on a _Fast and Furious_ scene, he surely didn't mind.

She brought him back to the roof, where he liked to spend most of the afternoon. The view from Seattle was amazing, and he could contemplate the city he loved so much.

"Come here" he said, pulling her to sit on his lap.

"No! What if I hurt you?" she pulled away like his hand was on fire.

"Don't be silly Sam. I appreciate you taking care of me and all, but let's pretend for one second I'm not a china doll" he chuckled "come here beautiful"

She sighed and nodded, sitting carefully on his lap.

"Carly and Brad want to announce on iCarly you're awake and getting better" she said, as they watched the sunset together "they want you to make a video, showing the fans you are okay. They've been worried too, you know"

"I think it's a great idea" he kissed her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her middle "you what I realized?"

"What?" she said, leaning her head back, to rest on the crook of his shoulder.

"That I'm awake for quite some time now, but you didn't even kissed me yet" he pouted.

"Oh… that's truth…" she smirked and turned around to face him "we can solve that right here, right now"

"Can we now?" he smirked.

"Yep" she leaned and pressed her lips against his.

They missed each other's kisses like crazy; there was nothing that could ever compare, at the feeling of each other's body, and lips pressed together. She parted her lips when he ran his tongue over her mouth and allowed it to travel inside to find hers. They didn't fight for dominance, they just danced in sync, moved and explored. He kept one hand over her thigh and the other squeezed her waist. Freddie missed this so much, every little bit of her, and every single part of the girl he loved so much. She kept her hands on his face and traveling to his hair occasionally, tasting and marveling herself with how intensely their feelings seemed to mingle.

When she pulled away for air, he groaned, he could keep doing that for five more hours. She kissed his nose and touched his forehead with hers.

"I could keep going for like five to ten hours more" he whispered.

"Me too, but it's getting cold, time for you to go back to your room" she jumped off his lap, planting one more sweet kiss on his lips.

"Ugh! Don't wanna!" he whined.

"Whiners are loser Freddie, do you wanna be a loser?" she pushed his wheel chair inside the hospital.

"I thought you thought I was one already" he teased.

"That's very true" she chuckled and he turned around to glare at her "you said it right Fredward, I thought, past tense. Now you're one lucky fellow, you have me!"

"Very true Samantha, very true"

They recorded the video for the iCarly fans and spend the rest of the night cuddling, exchanging kisses and watching Bewitched. Freddie told Sam she was just like Samantha and he was happy to be her Darrin any day, even though Sam and Sam had nothing in common, besides the name and the blonde hair. First, she slapped him playfully, then she chuckled loudly, telling him how dorky he was. They went to bed around ten, after his mother left, he wanted to stay awake and make out, but Sam insisted he must've been rested for his first physiotherapy appointment in the morning.

Physiotherapy was worst than Freddie thought. It was useless and tiring, he couldn't get his legs to respond his brain's commands, and he felt like he had no strength to move not even an inch. By the end of the day he was tired and disappointed. The only thing that made him feel better was Sam. Two more days of that and he was on the edge.

"Come on Freddie… you can do this. You're not motivated enough" said Olivia, his physiotherapist.

"I can't do it Olivia!" he growled "I just can't!"

He was gripping the bars tightly, not moving. Olivia wanted him to walk all the way to the end of the metal bars, but he couldn't, he knew he couldn't, or maybe he was just being lazy. It didn't help the fact Sam wasn't there. She went home to take a shower and change and didn't come back yet. Now he was grumpy and lazy.

"What is with all this growling?" Sam asked, walking into the room.

"Freddie is being stubborn. No, better, he's being a pain in my ass" Olivia crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh, is that true?" she glared at Freddie.

"She just wants me to do something that's not even possible!" he argued.

"I just want you to take a step after the other Freddie. We've been through this before, you're recovery process is happening amazingly fast. You surely can do that. Remember yesterday? You walked three steps, now I'm only asking you to walk five"

"Five? This is more like seven" he argued.

"Hey…" Sam called, walking towards him "hi"

"Hi" he smiled, exhaling tiredly "I missed you"

"I missed you too" she leaned to kiss him, and he puckered his lips, but she pulled away.

"Hey!" he protested.

"Want some of this?" she pointed at her lips "you have to come and get it" she walked backwards until she was on the other side of the bars, smirking.

"Sam…" he glared at her.

"Sorry Benson, that's just how it will work from now on. You want me, you'll have to come and get me" she shrugged.

"I don't have to, I can always kiss you later" he shrugged.

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" she smiled at him mischievously "you don't get kisses if you don't do the hard work"

"That's not fair!" he whined.

"One kiss for step" she smirked "per day!"

"NO!"

"Sorry pal, that's the way it's got to be"

He furrowed his brows, confident, he put all his effort and energy into moving one of his legs, then the other, then again and again. Freddie kept gripping the bars for support, so most of his weight was deposited on his arms. He kept moving, seeing how Sam's face seemed to light up with every step he took. When he reached her, the first thing he did was wrapping one arm around her shoulders for support.

"Hey gorgeous" he smiled, sweat collecting on his forehead "can I get my reward now?"

"You sure can Mr. Benson" Sam wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her lips to his.

From that day on, he found the right motivation to get to the other side of the bars.

One night, she was laying her head on his chest, and he was toying with her hair, when she brought up a topic he wasn't very comfortable talking about.

"We never really talked about the months you… you know… was a ghost" she looked up to him and saw him cringing "I didn't dream of that, right?"

"No… you didn't. What's there to talk about?"

"Why do you think you came back?" she asked shyly.

He didn't realize he never told Sam about that night, or about his father. He would gladly tell her about everything, but not this. He decided it would probably freak her out, and that moment was between him and his father. His little secret.

"Because you asked me to" she gave him a confused look "I was right here Sam, but before I could go you grabbed my hand and begged me to stay. I couldn't leave you, so I stayed"

"Oh…" she looked down at her hands, noticing by his tone, this wasn't something he wanted to be talking about "I didn't beg… it was more like asking"

"I don't see any difference" he chuckled.

"There's a big difference"

"No, I think you begged. You poured your heart out for me" he said overly dramatic.

"I did not!" she shoved him.

"Eh… you kinda did" he teased.

"No I didn't!" she insisted on the lie "your brain it's not working right"

"My brain is just fine. Yours, though… it might be in denial"

They kept bickering playfully, until they heard the door opening. Carly and Brad walked in. She was carrying flowers and he was carrying a black back pack. They would stop by everyday to talk, and check on him. Most days when they arrived, Sam and Freddie were arguing about something or making out, and that made Carly smile. Her friends were back; both of them, and nothing could make her happier. She cried every single day since Freddie woke up, just because she was so happy. Brad might deny, but she swore she say him wiping his tears inconspicuously, sometimes.

"Hey guys" he smiled.

"Hey there, man"

"Hey Freddie" Carly put the flowers over his nightstand, and Sam made a disgusted face to Freddie. His friend bent to kiss him in the forehead "Say what you will Sam, I'm not going to stop bringing the flowers. How are you doing?"

"Much better" offered her a genuine smile.

"I brought you something" Brad said, taking Freddie's laptop from inside the bag.

"Dude!" he grabbed his laptop, looking at it in awe "thank you!"

"Great, now I have to compete with the damn laptop!" Sam whined.

Everyone in room laughed, including Sam.

Brad never told Freddie about the times he was sure he felt Freddie close to him. But by the way his friend looked at him sometimes, he was sure he knew somehow. None of that really mattered, because now that was all in the past and it was time to move forward.

By the end of the month, Freddie was leaving the hospital in his crutches. Marissa drove him and Sam home, stopping by her house so she could collect a couple of clothes to take with her. Marissa wasn't very happy with Sam moving in, but she had to deal it that. It wasn't all bad though, she would take care of Freddie, make sure he wouldn't roll down the stairs and keep him company. But no funny business, maybe after he was fully recovered, if they were protection, because she knew that was inevitable. Either way, she knew this was only temporary, as soon as Freddie was truly recovered, Sam would definitely move back to her house. They weren't allowed to miss school either, and neither was allowed to fail a grade again. She said that specifically to Sam. Pam wasn't exactly ecstatic about that too, she kept telling Sam not to get pregnant. Sam just blushed, while Freddie snickered and his mother agreed with Pam.

Sam helped carry his bags and her bags inside his room and deposited them on the floor. Spencer was already there, with most of his friends and some neighbors, waiting to welcome him with a surprise party. Sam even baked him a cake, and everyone brought him welcome-home gifts. He never got so many gifts before, not even on his birthday. Around seven, everyone left, Marissa insisted Freddie needed to rest, he insisted he was fine, but even Sam was on her side on that matter.

The doctors were very impressed with his fast recovery; they only allowed him to go home as long as he promised to keep coming back for the physiotherapy. Yeah_, like Sam and my mother will allow me to skip it_. Sam helped him sit down on the edge of the bed and kneeled to take off his shoes. He put his crutches beside him and touched her hair.

"I love you so much" he let out.

She lifted her head up to look at him, smiling brightly.

"I know that" she said cockily.

"Good" he smiled "because it would kill me if you ever doubted it"

"As long as you're always sure of my love for you, we're cool Benson" she shrugged and sat on his lap, straddling his thighs.

"I could get used to you being here every day" he slid his hands from her backs to her ass.

"Uh-huh, I bet you can" she leaned forward and kissed him.

He immediately licked over her bottom lip and nipped at it, demanding her to open her mouth for him. She complied, letting his tongue venture inside her mouth and meet with hers. Sam ran her hands through his hair, running her nails softly on his scalp. Freddie moaned into her mouth, and squeezed her thighs, bringing her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer, crushing her chest against his. He moved a hand from her thigh to her waist, giving it a hard squeeze, then moved up towards the sides of her breasts.

Just when the kiss was intensifying, in a very sexual way, Marissa stormed into his room, and cleared her throat.

"I thought I said no funny business" she hissed.

"You did, Crazy, you did. But you see… this" she pointed between her and Freddie "it's not funny business, it's called making out"

"Same thing to me" she scowled "he's not all ready for that, so you might as well just wait"

"He looks pretty ready to me" she muttered under her breath, wiggling her hips against the bulge in his pants. He blushed deeply.

"What did you say?" Marissa asked.

"I said fine" she sighed "cool beans!"

Freddie chuckled and Marissa glared at Sam.

"I'm going to make us some dinner now… I'll leave the door open!" she peeked before finally leaving, then a second later she came back and peek again, before leaving for real.

"This will be fun" Freddie commented.

"Totally" Sam smiled and kissed him, making him lie back on the bed.

She kissed him sweetly, deepening the kiss just a bit, not enough to be considered sexual, but a little more than just a simple kiss. She tasted like sweet ham and he loved that. Freddie caressed her face softly and almost panted when she pulled away. He looked up to her, watching her face while she smiled.

"I love you" he whispered.

"I love you too"

"Forever and always?" he asked.

"Forever and always"

He put his hand on the back of her head, pushing her lips against his again. This time, he deepened the kiss that soon turned into something heated. She grabbed his face and dipped her tongue inside his mouth, fighting for dominance. He grabbed her backside and squeezed her hard, making her gasp into his mouth, and grind into him.

"I said no funny business!" his mother yelled at the door, before leaving again.

"Oh boy…" Sam said, burying her head on his shoulder.

"This will be fun" he whispered, before kissing the side of her head.

Sam helped Freddie get dressed for his first day of school, combed his hair, and almost shoved his breakfast down his throat when he refused to finish it. She drove them to school, with Carly and Brad. A day before, she took him to buy books and pens for school, she was actually excited for this year, which was crazy to say the least. Freddie hated the fact he was going to wear crutches on his first day, but that was better than wheel chair, so he couldn't complain. Sam parked Marissa's car and helped Freddie out. Brad carried his bag and Carly carried his books, while Sam wrapped her arm around his waist and they walked inside the school.

"Oh, I miss this place" he said.

"Yeah, only a nerd could ever miss school" Sam chuckled "but I guess, school misses you too"

"What?"

She chuckled at his face when everyone yelled _surprise! _Every single teacher, staff member and students were waiting for him inside. There was a big sign on the wall saying _"Welcome back Freddie, Ridgeway High missed you." _Ted Franklin was the first to step up and hug him. Freddie never pegged Principal Franklin for a hugger, but it felt nice. People patted him on the back and kept repeating how happy they were he was back. Even Mrs. Briggs and Mr. Howard said it.

"See, school is less smart without dork" Sam whispered in his ear.

"Thank you, honey" he kissed the side of her head.

"Ew, that's very sappy" she faked disgust.

"Sorry, I'm sappy, I' guess you'll have to deal with that" he said, on their way to class.

"Forever and always, dork" she smiled.

"Forever and always, demon" he kissed her one more time before entering the classroom.

He knew this was where his life began again, and he looked over to Sam, knowing he would share that life with her. And he couldn't wait for it.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys, this is the end. Well, not really the end, there's the epilogue coming up! I hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and I'm helping a friend of mine with her first fic. As soon as she posts it, I'll announce here on the epilogue so you guys can go and check it out! I just wanted to thank you all for this ride, for being supportive and understanding, for waiting for me and my lazy ass to update, you guys are awesome. I'm going to take quick break before starting up with iSeddie – Part Two, but I have a few things in mind for the story. I'll try to make the best I can to update more often. I just wanted to say thank you so much, to everyone. The better thank you will come next chapter, I promise.<strong>

**Oh, and remember when I asked, last chapter, about the The Hunger Games reference, well _Geekquality_ got that right on the act! It was in the end of the chapter **

_**"Yes… sure" she gave him her shaken hand "stay with me?"**_

_**"Always" he smiled.**_

**Katniss and Peeta (love him with all my heart) have this thing, where she asks "stay with me" and he says "always", for those who haven't read the book yet. You seriously should read that because Peeta is awesome. No just kidding, read because the book is awesome, I read it because Peeta is awesome, but whatever.**


	11. Walk On

_God gave me you for the ups and downs_

_God gave me you for the days of doubt_

_For when I think I've lost my way_

_There are no words here left to say, it's true_

_God gave me you_

_(Dave Barnes – God Gave Me You)_

* * *

><p><strong>The Epilogue<strong>

Sam flopped down on her king size bed, pressing a pillow against her face. If she had to do any more of those corporative partys, she would freak out. The smell of whisky and cigarettes made her throw up three times. The food was tolerable, but the portions were too small to feed her and the baby tap dancing on her bladder. She had to go to the bathroom at least seven times during the night. She was tired, couldn't drink champagne, her humongous feet ached and she was hungry out of her mind. It was a sacrifice she had to make, being the wife of the CEO and all.

She turned around, removing the pillow from her face and putting it beneath her gigantic belly, trying to set a comfortable position for herself. If she had to sit and listen to those stuck up middle aged men, and their sissy wives, talk any more about golfing and housing, she was going to snap. Luck enough, she had Carly to keep her company while Freddie and Brad strolled around making conversation with the rest of their nerdy kind.

But having Carly, looking stunning on a red dress and high heels by her side, while she wore ballerina flats and a planet for a suit, did not boost her ego. It was stupid to feel that way, she knew, and as Freddie said many times, she wasn't fat, just pregnant. It was impossible to feel pretty for Sam, now on her last month. She was about to pop, and that was the only thing bringing her joy these days. She felt incredibly gross, and hated the way she couldn't look at her feet, it was annoying.

Not finding that position comfortable enough, Sam turned around to lie on her back, pressing the pillow back against her face. Thank God Freddie was such a careful dork and a freak like his mother, or else instead of taking the elevator he set up on their house, she would have to climb a bunch of stairs, and she wasn't in the mood for it. Speaking of which, where was that dork anyway? When they arrived from his incredibly boring party, he told her to go up to their room and said he had something to do. At the time, she didn't think about it, nor asked what, because she was just really tired. Now, lying alone on their bed, she kinda misses his warmth, and the way he assures her every time, she looks beautiful even though she had a huge ball glued to her stomach.

If he was working, on his techy stuff, down at the basement, this would be his last day on earth, because she would surely kill him after a slow session of torture. Not that she had the strength to get up and look for him, but she could always call him. Freddie had his phone with him all the time, and she was very glad for that. Sam reached for the phone on her nightstand, since she had no idea where her phone must've been. As soon as her hand wrapped around the phone, she felt a thump inside of her. Even though she feels worn out and sore, bored and tired of being pregnant, every time she felt her baby moving her heart was filled with love. So much love it ached.

Sam liked to feel him moving, otherwise, she couldn't tell if he was alive. Whenever he stayed quiet for more than an hour, she started to freak out and call the doctor. Thank God, Marissa would always pick up his phone. She wasn't a "baby doctor", as she liked to call, but hearing a professional reassure her that the baby was fine was good enough. She trusted her enough to believe it.

She put a hand over her stomach, feeling her son playing football in her womb. He was a very active baby, and some nights she cursed him for it, some night when she couldn't sleep, she would hiss for him to be quiet, but he was stubborn. Only the warmth of his father's hand and the smoothness of his voice seemed to calm him down, just like it did to her. Her mind went back to Freddie, and where he was. She began to dial his number, when the door to their bedroom swung open.

And there he was, carrying a tray with a big sub and juice. He smiled, and placed the tray on the floor to help her sit up, since she was too big to do it alone. He pressed his lips sweetly against her forehead and placed the tray on her lap. The thing she hated the most about being pregnant was the cravings. She had the weirdest cravings, like fruits, salad and vegetables in general. Once Freddie told her that maybe their baby was going to be a vegetarian, and she cried the whole night.

"I knew you were hungry, so I made you a little something to eat." He kissed her hand briefly, before releasing it so she could enjoy her food. "I'm sorry darling, about dragging you to that party, and trust me; I don't like it more than you do."

"I know." She caressed his face, grabbed his hand to place a quick kiss on his knuckles. "I wanted to go, I don't trust you alone in that office, surrounded by those middle aged bitches who always try to whisper in your ear when they're too drunk."

Freddie chuckled, and leaned forward to kiss her in the lips.

"You know I only have eyes for you, right?"

"Even though I'm super fat?"

"Even more now that you're carrying our precious baby boy inside of you, Sam. I told you, you're not super fat, you're pregnant."

"Still, fat." She said and took the first bite from her tuna fish sandwich.

"It'll all be worth it once he's here." He caressed her leg, then moved down to remove her shoes. "I loved you in these shoes today. Makes you look like a little doll."

"Yeah, a fat doll." She sighed when he started to rub her feet.

"A pretty doll." He kissed her toe. "And I don't care what you say, I still think you look incredibly pretty."

"Of course you do. I'm carrying your spawn; you should feel really proud of yourself right now." She said, before taking a sip of her orange juice.

He laughed, and continued to massage her feet.

"It's not only that, but whatever floats your boat is good for me, baby."

They've been married for three years, and after the first two months, Freddie knew better than to argue. He learned to choose his battles. Not that she could be really angry at him, or him at her, but he was knew it was wise separating the fights worth having, from the pointless ones. He's been trying to convince her for months, she's not ugly and gross, and even though sometimes she would let herself believe it, other times she would just insist he was lying to make her feel better. He knew better now, than to argue her on that matter. Note to self: Never enrage Sam Benson when she's eating, or when she's pregnant.

Despite her daily complains about her looks, Freddie knew Sam loved to be pregnant. For one, she loved the way he babied her and gave into her every wish. And he knew she loved the little person inside of her already. Sometimes, Sam would just sit down on their porch and rub her stomach, sometimes she would read for the baby outside in the garden, and he even caught her talking to him every now and then. Despite all of the problems, he knew she was happy.

They were happy, with everything life has provided them. After he left the hospital, nearly eight years ago, life took its natural course. Within a few weeks, Freddie got rid of the crutches and was free to walk around without any kind of help. He was completely healed, except from a few scars left from the accident, he was just fine. That didn't seem to mean anything to Sam and Marissa. Freddie never thought he would see the day those two were going up against him, but it happened and they seemed to agree in everything. First, they had forbidden him to drive for six entire months. Took a lot of convincing for them to let him leave the house by alone or use the stairs by himself.

Of course, the obsession with his safety died down slowly, day by day. And if it didn't, he would've actually snapped. Freddie took his time to tutor Sam, and she actually let him. She was a good student, improving her grades and impressing the teachers. By the time they graduated, she was second place, losing only to the valedictorian. Him. Her efforts paid off, when she was accepted in Boston University, only a few minutes from M.I.T., where he went. They moved in together and started a life, as it should be.

* * *

><p>He got his first internship at Pear Industries, and got promoted after a three weeks. Sam, on the other hand, graduated and started to work on a small bistro near his office. She was a great cooker, and got promoted to prep chef within a year. Too bad for her, the owner decided to sell the place and close the restaurant. By the time she thought she was going to be unemployed, Freddie was already head of software creation on Pear co. and he was a man with an idea. Freddie used his yearly bonus to buy the place for her.<p>

"_Come on Freddie, where are we going?" Sam whined, hands hanging in the air, trying to touch what her eyes couldn't see. "I thought you said we had a reservation."_

"_And we do, in the best restaurant in Seattle." He assured her, before removing the blindfold. "And here we are."_

"_Freddie…?" _

_Sam analyzed the walls of the place she knew so well. The restaurant she worked, the place she loved, the one that was about to close._

"_Why are we here?"_

"_It's for you."_

"_What's for me?"_

"_This." He pointed to everything around them. "It's yours."_

"_You bought the restaurant for me?" She asked, stunned._

"_Yes. It's a wedding gift." He smiled, widely._

"_A… what?"_

_Freddie handed her the keys, along with a huge diamond ring hanging by a purple bow. Sam admired the ring for a few seconds, it was beautiful. It was white gold, maybe 18k gold or so, the little stones covered the side view of the center stone, the diamond was perfect cut and clear, Sam didn't know a thing about jewelry, but she guessed it was at least one carat, maybe more. It was most of all, beautiful. She inclined the ring to the side, and she could see the engravings inside, "Forever & Always."_

"_Freddie…?" She whispered._

"_I know, it's a little sacrifice to be made, but maybe I can make it all worthy of your time." He smirked._

"_So, basically you're saying that to own this place I have to marry you?"_

"_Yes, indeed you do. So if you want this," he said, getting closer, putting his hands on her waist "you'll have to marry me, no doubt."_

_She pretended to think for a while, then proceeded to wrap her arms around his neck to bring him closer._

"_I really love this place."_

"_I know." He wrapped his arms completely around her._

"_And if marrying you it's what I have to do to keep it…" she bit her lip. "I guess I'll make this terrible, terrible sacrifice."_

"_That's my girl." He smiled and kissed her passionately._

"_I love you, so much." She whispered when they pulled back._

"_I love you too Princess Puckett… or should I say… Princess Benson."_

"_Uh, I guess I'll definitely will be Princess Benson now, huh?" She smiled, running her hands up and down his arms._

"_You can be anything you want, Sam. You can be Princess, duchess, baroness… but in the end, you'll always be the queen of my castle."_

"_For me to be the queen of your castle, you had to be a king. Which, you're not…" She joked. "You're more like a pauper."_

"_Even better, now I get to have my own fairytale, where a beautiful princess comes and saves me. We can be like… Rapunzel and Flynn Rider."_

"_Oh my God, Freddie!" She laughed. "You're such a girl."_

"_Yet, you're marrying me. Does that makes you a lesbian, or what?" She smacked the side of his head._

"_And it's Eugene, by the way." She corrected him._

"_Of course it is blondie. Of course it is." He pressed his lips against hers, then rested his forehead against hers. "Marry me Sam Puckett?"_

"_Yes, Freddie Benson. I'll marry you."_

Three months later they were Mr. and Mrs. Benson. Sam didn't want a big wedding, but Carly made sure she got one. In the end, she ended up choosing a Vera Wang dress, and marrying in a beautiful garden, Sunday afternoon. It wasn't so bad after all, it was better than what she had in mind. Eloping in Vegas and save the money to gamble around the casino the next day.

* * *

><p>The first two months of marriage they lived in the same old condo, they were used to it, anyway. But Sam started to feel the need for something more, something bigger. A house, for instance, with a backyard for their kids to play around. She didn't have the guts to express that feeling, without confessing she wanted to have kids, and soon. Just like he had read her mind, or heard her mumbling in her sleep, Freddie went out to look for houses. He wanted to surprise her, but wasn't sure if he should buy the house alone, because, well, Sam always had a say so in everything. One afternoon, he took her out to look at houses, in this great neighborhood ten minutes from his office.<p>

"_So? What do you think?" He asked._

"_Are you going to buy a house, Fredwardo?"_

"_Well, I was thinking about it. But I need a woman's perspective, since I know nothing about decoration…" He shrugged._

"_Who says I know anything about decoration?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you calling me a girly girl?"_

"_No, never. I wouldn't dare." He smiled. "Still, I thought you would do better than me."_

"_I'm always doing better than you." She smirked and started to walk around the house._

"_Sure, Princess, I'm sure of that." He followed her around while she analyzed the place carefully._

"_I like it. But I think we should look around a little more, you know, just to make sure we're buying the right one." She commented, after half an hour looking at every bedroom and every room. Freddie knew he was in for a long ride._

"_Okay, I guess that's a wise idea."_

"_Can I choose any house I want? Like, any house?" She gave him the puppy dog look, he happened to love so much._

"_Of course Sam, you can have what you want. Whatever you want… and what I can afford."_

"_Oh, you're the best!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a long, happy kiss._

"_Hey, carefully lady, I'm married!" He chuckled, when she slapped him on the shoulder._

"_Let's go, before your wife finds us." She said. "How is she?"_

"_Oh, she's great. A little devious, but hey, what's the fun in being all good, huh?" He wrapped one arm around her shoulders._

"_No fun." Sam rose to her feet and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks."_

"_For what?"_

"_For guessing I wanted a house."_

"_You wanted a house?" Freddie faked shock._

"_Oh come on," she shoved him playfully "you know I did. You had to know, or else you wouldn't bring me here today."_

"_Yeah…" He sighed. "You talk in your sleep. A lot."_

"_You watch me sleep? Wow, what a creeper!"_

"_Yeah, well. I regret nothing. Besides, you're mine to look at." He pressed his lips briefly against the side of her head._

"_So, you think you own me?"_

"_I know I do, just like you own me."_

"_Yeah… I guess I can live with that." She shrugged._

"_Good, because I can too." He opened the car door for her._

"_You better." She fake-glared at him, before entering the car, but her smile gave her away._

Took them five months to find the perfect house, but they made sure it was perfect. Despite not being the housewife decorator kind of person, Sam did one hell of a good job decorating the new digs. Freddie's favorite place wasn't the basement, like Sam thought, he loved the master bedroom. Not for all the obvious reasons anyone might think, well… that too, but he loved it because it was the place where they would lie together and talk about the past, the future, and how much they loved each other. His favorite spot was the window in the ceiling, controlled by a remote, like the rest of the house. Some nights, Sam and Freddie would open the metal shades, lie on their bed and look to the starry sky, or watch the droplets of rain pouring down and crashing against the glass.

It was their peaceful moment, there was no need to talk, they just enjoyed what life gave to them. Freddie thought about himself as a very lucky person, he truly believed he was in fact fortunate for all he had. As if a second chance in life wasn't good enough, God gave him everything he always dreamed and more. Now, looking at his beautiful wife, admiring her swollen belly, aware that his son was inside of her, he felt maybe he got a little more he deserved. Freddie always felt the need to balance things with the universe. He always did what he could to help those in need, those who unlike him didn't get everything they always dreamed of. This was his way of paying back for everything he earned.

* * *

><p>Freddie placed his hand over Sam's belly, caressing it lovingly, feeling the soft thump of his son's little foot, or hand.<p>

"I can't wait to see him." He whispered.

"Me too, I can't wait for him to pop out so I can lie on my stomach, eat hot dogs and hump your brains out." He had to laugh.

"Yeah baby, soon as he gets here, I'll buy you a huge hot dog." Freddie bent and kissed her stomach. "I'll buy all the hot dogs you want."

"I'll want many. You better prepare your wallet." She said, mouthful.

"I will make sure I'll have money enough for that." He wiped a few crumbs off her belly.

"Ouch…" She gasped.

"What?" Freddie sat upright, startled. "What's wrong?"

"I felt… A sting…" Freddie removed the tray from her lap and placed it on the floor.

She looked down and acknowledged the liquid soaking her dress and bedsheets.

"I know I didn't just pee…"

"Tell what you need me to do. What do you need me to do?"

"Uh… I don't know… uh… I guess we have to count between contra-AAAH!" Sam screamed, and held onto her belly in pain. "Oh God… son of a…"

"Alright, okay… alright… I'm calling my mother." He rose to his feet and grabbed the telephone. "She'll know what to do, I'll tell her to meet us in the hospital… I have to call Brad and Carly too… Gibby, Spencer, Wendy… God, everyone."

"Make sure to call my mother and Melanie too." Sam said, breathing heavy, just waiting for the next contraction.

"Okay… alright… where are the baby things? Where are your things?" He asked, phone pressed between his shoulder and ear.

"There… closet… second door." She put one hand on her back, other over her belly and bit down hard on her lip.

"Alright, honey. Here are the things…" Freddie put the bags over their bed. "Mom? It's me, listen… Sam is in labor… yes, now! We're going to the hospital… yes. Meet you there. Bye." He tossed the phone on the arm chair and helped Sam get on her feet.

"Come on, baby…" he wrapped his arm around her waist, and she put her arm around his neck. Freddie grabbed the bags and pressed the elevator button. "We're almost there, sweetie. Hang in there alright, darling?"

"Freddie…" she panted. "If you say, honey, sweetie or darling one more time, I'll break your neck!"

"Right, sorry… right, baby." He helped her into the elevator. "Baby doesn't bother you, right?"

"No… I guess not… oh God… he's coming." She smiled.

"He is… he is coming, right now… this night… I'll be a father tomorrow…" Now was his time to breath heavy.

"You're going to be a great father, Freddie. You were born for fatherhood." Sam kissed his cheek.

"If you say so, I'll believe."

* * *

><p>Freddie drove them to the hospital, carefully but not too slow. Sometimes, he still had flashbacks from his accident eight years ago. He knew this wasn't something he could just get rid of, and maybe it would stay with him forever. He almost lost his life that night, this isn't the sort of thing you simply forget. But now wasn't the time to think about the past, or death, it was time to think about life, new life that was coming and future. Their future.<p>

He helped her get into the hospital gown, and lay back on the bed. In matter of minutes, Marissa and Spencer arrived, followed by Carly and Brad.

"How are you feeling?" Carly asked, rubbing her stomach.

"Tired, excited, happy. It hurts like hell, Carls, but he's going to be here soon."

"Yes, he is. I'm dying to see my little nephew." She kissed Sam's forehead.

"Uh…" Sam sighed in pain.

"You need to hold my hand, baby?" Freddie asked, interlacing his fingers with hers.

"Thanks… that'll help." She squeezed his hand, hard, and Freddie knew this was just the start.

"How are we doing tonight?" Dr. Zane, entered the room.

"Painful. Please tell me you're here so we can pop this kid out?" Sam begged.

"Let's see how you're doing."

"Okay… everybody out now." Sam said. "I don't want anyone besides Freddie seeing the doctor poke on my vagijay."

"Alright," Brad chuckled. "If you need us, we'll be right outside." He squeezed Freddie's shoulder.

"Okay, man. Thanks."

Sam held on tight to Freddie's hand, while the doctor checked her dilatation. Even after many appointments with the same doctor, she wasn't all comfortable having someone, besides Freddie, looking down at her business. The doctor took off her gloves and threw it on the trash.

"Four centimeters."

"Am I ready to push?"

"No, Sam, I'm afraid we'll have to wait a little more." She said.

"Oh, no… no, no, no! Why can't I just push?" she whined.

"Come on, Sam. Just a little more, okay baby? Please?" Freddie kissed her knuckles.

"Haven't you done enough?" she grumbled, turning to her side.

"Good luck." Dr. Zane mouthed to Freddie, he just nodded.

* * *

><p>After a long night of painful contractions, screams and broken fingers, Sam finally accepted the morphine and fell asleep. Freddie curled by her side, stroking her hair and rubbing her stomach occasionally. He kissed the side of her face many times, softly and quietly, trying not to wake her. As she lay there, asleep for the moment, he admired his little family. Who would've known they would get here someday? Who knew Freddie Benson would be his happiest when he was with Sam Puckett? After all said and done, all mistakes made, and the road they walked together, they remained strong, firm like rock solid.<p>

They were their best when they were together; the connection between them was powerful and unbreakable. Freddie was sure his biggest mistake in life was ever breaking up with her, but was part of the past, it wouldn't happen again. Sam stirred in her sleep and grabbed his hand.

"I'm so tired. Tell me a story." She asked, sleepy.

"Well… you know that night when I woke up?"

She opened her eyes slowly, then turned her face to him.

"Yeah?"

Many moons ago, Freddie decided not to tell Sam his little encounter with his father. He wanted to keep it to himself, but he never realized there was no himself, they were one, his secrets were her secrets, and vice and versa.

"I saw my dad."

"What?"

"I woke up alone in the room, after disappearing from your house. My father was there, he talked to me about a few stuff."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I wanted it to be my little secret, and I didn't want you to freak out."

"After everything I saw, you still think that would freak me out?"

"No… well, at the time I wanted to keep it to myself. Like my little secret, but I failed to realize my secrets are your secrets. So I'm telling you now."

"And why are you telling me this now, exactly?"

"Well… I was just thinking about it, I guess. He wasn't the way I imagined, but he was much better. From what I remember, the few details I remember when I was a kid, he was a great person. And a great father. I wish I could compare, you know. I'm a little worried about not being good enough."

"Freddie…" She turned around and cupped his face. "You don't have to worry about that. No one can ever be perfect, but if someone could, this person would be you. I know you'll be a great father, because I know you. I know you'll love this baby, as much as you love me, and I know, for sure you'll be a great father, because you want to be. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am." He smiled.

"Cool, now tell me another story." She turned around, pressing her back against his front.

"Once upon a time… in a distant land, lived a prince who thought he was awake, but in fact he was asleep. He spent his whole life blinded by lies he created himself, until the day a beautiful princess warrior, who was his sworn enemy, fell in love with him. She kissed him, opening his eyes to life. And he never ever wanted to close them again…"

"Go on…" she smiled, closed her eyes and snuggled against his chest.

* * *

><p>Three hours more, and Sam was ready to push. She demanded everyone exited the room, but Freddie and Carly. Pam and Melanie argued about what they should get for the baby, outside in the hallway, Brad and Spencer tried to make conversation, to keep each other from falling asleep, Wendy stared at the babies and Gibby tried to flirt with the nurses. But they all remained outside, waiting.<p>

"Okay, Sam I need a big push." Doctor Zane, said.

"I can't…" Sam panted. "Not anymore, no."

"Come on, baby. He'll be here with one more push." Freddie kissed her sweaty forehead, and stroked her hair.

"I don't wanna…" she sniffed. "Would you do it for me? Please do it for me! Please, please?"

"I wish I could… come on, sweetheart, one more."

"Yeah, come on Sam. One big push!" Carly said, trying to cover the pain in her voice, from the hand Sam was squeezing.

"Okay…" She took a deep breath. "But you're having the next one… got me?"

"Yes, baby. I'll be happy to. I'll become a sea horse if I have to."

She inhaled, exhaled, and pushed, squeezing the bones out of both Freddie's and Carly's hand. Sam never felt so much pain in her life, not physical pain. One hard push, and she could hear a faint squeak filling the room. He was here, finally. Everything went on slow motion, as the doctor asked Freddie if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord. His hands shook, but he tried his best to hold firmly to the scissor. His eyes could catch a glimpse of their son, his skin covered in white goo and blood, his little hands and feet moving, shaking, and his little chest rising up and down with every breath.

He had seen death before, he once was left face to face with death, but now he was experiencing something scarier. Life. The beginning of a new life, someone new coming to the world, coming to life. A being he helped make, a person him and the love of his life made together. The best of both of them. Freddie bent down and kissed Sam on the lips. She was a sweaty mess, her hair was all over the place, her eyes were filled with tears, happy tears, and her face was a bright shade of red. She looked drained. He caressed her face and kissed her again.

"Here you go." The doctor handed Sam the little being, a little cleaner this time, wrapped up in a blue sheet.

"You did a great job Sam." Carly whispered to her friend, her eyes on the baby.

"I love you." Freddie whispered in her ear. "Forever and always."

"I love you too." She smiled, playing with her son's little hand.

Freddie ran his fingers through his son's messy brown hair, down to his forehead, running his index finger over his nose, lightly pressing his thumb against his cheek. This was just the beginning of his family, this was just the first addition to many more, he knew it. Sam looked up to him, her eyes shining with so much love, and tears.

"I'm going outside, to let everyone know he's already here." Carly announced, but her friends seemed to be in trance, looking at their new baby. She smiled and left the room.

The baby boy opened his eyes, slowly, for the first time in his life. Sam smiled and looked up to Freddie.

"He has your eyes." She said.

He smiled and kissed her, then kissed the top of his son's head.

"Thank you." He murmured.

"For what exactly?" Sam leaned her head against his shoulder.

"For kissing me in the lock-in, for dating me, for taking care of me, for never give up on me. For marrying me, for loving me, for giving me this beautiful baby. For making me the happiest man on earth."

"Back at ya, Benson." She laughed. "How do you want to name him?"

"I know just the right name…" He smirked, leaning down to kiss his son's forehead.

"Care to share?"

"_Milo_."

In the very end, his father was absolutely right. We all get the heaven we deserve.

* * *

><p><em>Love is not the easy thing .The only baggage you can bring. Is all that you can't leave behind.<em>

_U2 – Walk On._

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, this is it, the end. I want to thank everyone for your reviews, for always being so kind to me, thank you for accompany me in this crazy ride. I want to let you guys know, how much I appreciate any kinds of review and criticism. I appreciate the love you guys show me in your reviews. I want to thank every single person who read this, every single one who reviewed, and every single one who put this on favorite or alert. I have to say that, when I started in this site, I didn't imagine any of this, and how great this would be. You guys been with me through so much, it was such a long ride, and I'm sorry for the times I failed to update soon, I'm sorry this took so long to be ready, but I wanted to make sure I had it all perfect, for you guys. (The baby's name has a history, back in chapter 8)<strong>

**After I'm done with this little break I need to take, I'll come back with the sequel to iSeddie. I have lots of plans for it, and I'll try to make the second one as good the first, I promise!**

**Thank you, to everyone who's read this, you guys have no idea of how happy you make me feel. **

_**Especially, I would like to thanks my FF partner, thank you for everything, really. You've been so important to me this year, more than you'll ever realize. Thank you for your friendship, your advices, your compliments, everything. We're a team, a crazy one, but we are, thank you, because without you, I don't know if this ride would be so great.**_

_**To SAM-seddie-FREDDIE, thank you for everything.**_

_**Love, your FF friend, S. Benson.**_

* * *

><p><span>Extra songs:<span>

**CH 1- Hurts Like heaven**

_Train – To Be Loved_

**CH3 – Blinding**

_Big Star – Thirteen_

**CH4 – You Belong To Me**

_Foster The People – Pumped Up Kicks_

**CH7 – Wonderwall**

_Coldplay – Us Against The World_

**CH8 – My Body Is A Cage**

_Lana Del Rey – Video Games_

**CH9 – Run**

_Train – Brick By Brick_

_Jimmy Eat The World – Hear You Me_


	12. AN

**Hey guys, sorry I know you guys thought this was an update, but no sorry. Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone again, for everything and let you know a few stuff. Okay, there's this fic called **_**Simply Seddie **_**where we're trying to get votes for Seddie on portrait magazine . net ****it will be really good if you guys could help us beat Smallville! We're almost there folks! And another thing I'd like to tell you, I have a friend that helped me a lot in Awake, she's writing her own fanfic now, it's called **_**Signal Fire. **_**It's AU, and it's really good. So go check it out! You won't be sorry. She was the one who helped me make Awake happen, so if you liked Awake, it's worth a shot right? That's all, thanks guys! And for the ones who are waiting for iSeddie, I'm almost done arranging the plot so I can start writing after my break!**

**Love you guys!**


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